Saturday, August 28, 2004

- still -

I remember the very first day
Where I was my usual busy self
Could hardly stay to hear your say
Just a vague introduction of yourself

I shot many questions at you
And you answered one by one
Then I had more important things to do
I left, but that was how it all begun

I'd never thought that my life would stir
You being the person that shook it
How it happened now seems kinda blur
But what happened is the unforgettable bit

At a point, I guess I was pressured to act
By what? I still do not know
But I wasn't a 100% sure for a fact
That I should or shouldn't take that go

Things happen for a reason i guess
And I don't intend to look back
I feel lucky that I've been blessed
To have our friendship back on track

I no longer wonder why it couldn't
Work out between you and me
I guess I realised that I didn't
Really feel that deeply

But no matter what you'd always hold
A special place inside my heart
For some reason your name stands bold
Guess in you there's this special part

Can't really explain what or why
Just something extraordinary
Something that seemed to have caught my eye
Something that tugs the heart in me

So eventhough I'm over the whole infatuation
Eventhough I'm relieved of an unrequited feeling
Today one thing remains a question
How come I'm still sad that you're departing?

Today it seemed as though my heart was a tad heavier. Feel a little sad that he was gonna leave. In fact left. I don't have any feelings for him whatsoever. It was a misjudgement of my own feelings back then. But anyway, what happened happened and I guess, like every little mishap I've had in my pathetic love life, it stays in my heart. yup...no matter how small the crush was...or how silly I'd acted in the past...or how silly he acted...every single person takes a fraction of my heart. The fact that I did like him at a point meant that there was something special about him. Even if it was just an infatuation. I think the part of my sadness also comes from the uncertainty. The uncertainty of what the future holds. When am i gonna see him again? Sure there'll be MSN messenger and ICQ to help reduce the distance but...u get what I mean.

Apart from that I guess, was the changes that took place today. I have a feeling it's gonna take me a little while to get used to the fact that she's got someone else who comes in first place now. I'm so happy for her. So happy that i feel...sad. It's not about me not having someone. I believe in fate and fate would bring me that someone in due time. It's about me and her. As much as we both deny that nothing's gonna change, we both know something will. And the fact that it isn't wrong, bugs me even more. It's just the way it is supposed to be. I saw this coming. She's my best friend and I love her. I love it that she's happy...

Today was my first performance at WCG. It was a blast! The first show was great, the 2nd better. If you missed today, there's always tomorrow 2pm and 6.30pm, and sunday 4 pm. I'm now more than ever determined to one day perform like MJ or Julyann. =) Today I was supposed to have an outing with my girlfriends. The group gymnasts of selangor year 2000. Yuh Huey couldn't make it for some reason. And...well...she came with him. Maybe I'm being selfish here. Maybe I'm being conceited by wanting an outing with just the 5 of us, before Yuh Huey leaves for UK, to catch up on old times, laugh our heads off in a public restaurant and make fools out of ourselves, snap loads of pictures, just like the old times. Maybe I'm asking too much if I thought, ok so if Yuh Huey couldn't make it, at least there'll be the 4 of us. no one else. Maybe I am just not used to the changes that I have to make now...I will be soon...sorry...I will...


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