Thursday, March 30, 2006

Happy Birthday Por Por

Quite some time back...when my mum had just taught me the art of cross-stitching...I had this craze for stitching everone something for their birthdays. But because i was very slow at it (it's my nature...i've short sttention spans, so i never stitched for long at one point) i would have to prepare myself at least a couple of months earlier than the birthdate if i were to succesfully complete something.

needless to say...i never did. i'd buy a cross-stitch pack...start it really fast...and towards the 5th or 6th day, i'd give up and ask my mum to complete it for me. and when she did, i'd be so disappointed that the gift wasnt genuinely my effort, that i'd eventually decide to buy something else. and this happened very very often...till the day i grew tired of cross-stitching.

but there was one person, whom i really wanted to give a cross-stitch work to. and that was my grandma. simply because she wouldn't appreciate t-shirts, and she couldnt eat cakes, and she loved to sew. she made me batu seremban before. she made me a beautiful sling bag resembling the ones they sold at Memory Lane. and she knitted a shawl for me too.

so i really wanted to return the favour. but i was too fickle-minded to finish one. so...sad to say...i never did.

today is my grandma's birthday. i still haven't made any cross-stitch work. and she's no longer with me. it's hard to believe...

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happy birthday. missing you ever more...
lots of love, ren...
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Sunday, March 26, 2006

coz mel-tagged-me...

Just like chain letters, i never knew the birth process of memes and tags. and sometimes i do ponder on it...i never pondered long enough to figure out. i mean, did someone just suddenly decided to start it and see how far it'd go?

surprisingly...someone did. and i didnt even have to ponder for hours because that someone happened to be a friend of mine. and yes she started a meme. how does the name meme even come about anyway?? *frowns and looks up diagonally to nothingness*

anyway...because i'm literally stuck at my expectancy thoery of motivation assignment...i decided to do this....

or just coz mel-tagged-me.

My earliest memory is...
of me running out of my parents room bawling and sobbing because i just had my first nightmare. there was a Frankenstein. and Freddy Kruger. I blame my dad for allowing me to watch it.

At school I...
was a friggin' socialite! okay...maybe not exactly. but i had a lot of friends, and i joined a lot of clubs...but i stuck to school rules well coz mummy was a teacher in school...

My first relationship was...
only a month long....pretty disastrous....but memorable anyway....

I wish I'd never worn...
frocks and dresses when i was a kid...coz my mum spent a lot on them and i grew tired of them very very quickly.

My mother and father always told me...
to eat curry n chilli. yea...i don't do so well with spices.

I wish I had...
a sister...or sisters...:) oh and gone into artistic gymnastics.

I wish I hadn't...
cut my hair!!

At home I cook...
nothing? hehe...i'm more of a baker too, mel. :) especially cheese tarts and cheese cakes. :)

When I was a child, I wanted to...
have a Genie/Fairy Godmother grant me 3 wishes. My first wish then was to have my big brother turned into a girl. That way i could have a sister. :) I don't want to now. My brothers are cool!

The book that changed my life is...
Fearless by Franscine Pascal? hehe...not exactly a life changing thing...but that book. :)

It's not fashionable but...
I enjoy dissing prissy girls. for some reason...i cant stand them. even more so if their boyfriends do God darn everything for them.

If only I could...
run again....:(

Friends say I am...
sporty. and uptight. and crazy. and dark (as in literally, not in a morbid, gothic kinda way).

What I don't find amusing is...
bachelor of commerce.

I often wonder...
how blue blacks and scratches seem to appear all over my body. oh and how my future life would be like. :)

and i tagggggggg???

1. always. coz she's the best. :)
2. Kenneth khaw....coz i just came from his site.
3. Weng Lum...i think he'd enjoy this.
4. Bec...coz her site needs and update..urgently....:)
5. Carboman? coz i wonder if grown ups with families would do this...
6. Lifemou...same reason...:)

ha! there u have it!

now...Vroom said that the expectancy theory of motivation clearly states that....

Saturday, March 25, 2006

front seat view

so my long planned mamak session finally got carried out. although only half of the people showed up. wait...actually it was just ju, soon seng and moi. and since ju and i are kinda the hostesses, soon seng was our only guest...thus only one person showed. how sad is that? haha...

but it was good catching up with my monitor/ju's president. better in small groups, i always say. more catching up is done. and this fella comes home once in 2 weeks! life must be that fun in Notts.

it was a casual mamak session at Rafi's. That was until the whole drama started...

Someone's purse got snatched!!! omg! there was screaming...lots of screaming...and struggling...and pushing and pulling (there was a hero involved).....and loads of people running...all within 3 feet away from where i was sitting!!!

the whole incident was pretty scary...but here was what traumatised me the most...that motorbike actually went passed me before hitting its victim! it could've been me~!! seriously, i had my handbag on my lap, which can be easily snatched...

scene of the crime

well...thank God the girl was unhurt...the hero was...undoubtly a hero...and the thief was caught! The police came about 10 minutes after. I urged ju and soon seng to go home.

yup...i shall never carry a handbag to go mamak from now on. Or if i'm walking by a sidewalk accessible to motorcyclists....

if only i could...

i've just spent a good 17 minutes tuning out the music on my mp3 and bawling at Jolene's romantic love story.

can i say jealous???

i think it's so so darn sweet. thanks to you, Jolene, i'm now in no mood to listen to my usual hip hop beats, blog about the incredibly fun outing i had with a couple of my girlfriends just now, and even talk to the people on msn. yes, its blinking orange at the bottom there and i have no intention of replying them. see what you've done!

i feel so...deprived....of sweet caresses, unforgettable moments, tingling sensations, shy and awkward times, longingness, utter loneliness, sheer ecstasy and many more of those...

Jolene's so lucky. alongside others like Julie, Shirlyn, Yuh Huey, Gene, Li Hua, Grace, Mei Yen....

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Aunt Karen

Aunt Karen is who i am right now!

At about 11.50 am, my cousin Melvyn and wife, Sylvia, gave birth to Master Tan Yu En. I've been waiting anxiously for this moment! [not to be an aunt but to have a baby to play with] I love babies and kids! Well, actually babies are a bit hard to play with but once they turn 7-8 months plus, when they're able to laugh and grab hold of my finger and stuff like that...adorable!

soo...the new proud mummy and daddy and baby are now in Singapore. Coz...thats where they live. thus, i cant go see them now. But i will the moment i have a break! yes yes!!

Baby Yu En, I'm gonna be your favourite Aunt! *grins*

Monday, March 20, 2006

I like GUYS!

someone asked me today if i was straight. Yes, someone did.

i know i'm on the tom-boyish side. i never wore make up till late last year. i never wore skirts till last last year. and i cant wear heels. i dont mind the sun and the dirt. i love camping out in the wild. i eat a lot. i'm not very neat in my work. i complain about my weight but i never do anything about it. i never read fashion magazines. i play all sorts of sports and i'm not afraid to sweat. i love rollercoasters. i dont mind playing with worms and beetles. i'm into breakdancing. i have a need for speed. and yes...i have short hair.

but i also love to shop. and i paint my nails when i'm free. and im a sucker for romantic movies. and i recently adopted the habit of baking and putting on little make up. i need to have good shampoos and conditioners because my hair's no better than a lion's mane. soft teddy bears, huggable size, are my weakness. chocolate melts me. i love earrings. and yes, i camwhore.:)

most importantly, i like guys. so for any more of you who are in doubt, NO i'm not gay. i've dated before, all guys. i crush on Brad Pitt, not Angelina Jolie.

note:for those who have the affinity for the same sex, i am not against you. i just know that i'm straight and would like people to know that too. :)

round the roundabout!

for the first God knows how long...i finally can go around the roundabout outside my house! It's been so long, so much so, that i've almost forgotten how to! hahaha....i felt so weird making a 3 o'clock turn just now. i bet this brings smiles to a lot of people...

Sama-sama jimat minyak!!!


i received a phone call from Irina today. which really surprised me, since i've not seen or heard from her in light years! but she surprised and confused me even more when she asked "hey how's the marketing comming along?"....i was amazed that she even remembered what major i was doing.

so i briefly answered,
"its alright...i'm into my second year now..."
"wait...are you Karen, the chinese Karen? the one from SJ?"
" there an indian or a malay one?"
"omg! omg i called the wrong person! I'm so blur!"
"okaaaaay....hahaha....anyway, how's Psych?"
and so we chatted a while longer, might as well catch up since she already called.

hehe...God works in little ways....


regarding my previous post, some of the comments made a dent in my thoughts. but i stand firm to my decision. won't stop jogging for fun though. except that i probably have to find a more private place so i wont bump into the usual running kakis, asking me which race is next and what nots....

gah...i am such a wimp when it comes to things like this....

Sunday, March 19, 2006

hanging up those trainers

i've had it. call me a quiter, call me a sore loser. it's time i hung up those trainers. i can no longer run. when i have to stop and gasp for air at a silly10km race, you know i've gone far beyond fixable.

the Power Run in KL has proved that i am, like what my mum said to the old microwave oven that broke down, kau tang already. Which means, i have done all that i could have done.

i've already signed up for the 15 km run in May. So i'll go for that. But till then, and thereafter, i won't be participating anymore. That'll save me some disappointment.

It's sad that i've come to this. For the past 7 years running has been one of my passions. But that was because i progressed exponentially. Now i'm heading downwards.

Unless i am confident enough to take on another run, without having to stop for breaks, then i'll enter the arena again.

till then...i'm quitting the game...

Friday, March 17, 2006


i was reading my comments last night...

hey ...hitam manis black pearl..not only skin also black..T-shirts also black....n hair also black-black..just makesure dont blackout doing assignments...ahahaha!!!! funny writings u have...
lifemou 03.16.06 - 10:36 pm #

immediately after reading it, everything went dark in my room. outside my window, even USJ 2 was pitch black.

Lifemou, you jinxed me!!!!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

The Vending Machine

once again, my perfectly planned-out just and well balanced training schedule has been ruined by the evil demon called Assignments. [Of course, i could always blame it on my lack of will power and discipline, and my excess level of procrastination, but if i did, then my post tonight ends here.]

we've been asked to create a Vending Machine for Consumer Behaviour 102. The vending machine must consist food that will cater to young and old, health-conscious, vegetarians and diabetics and anything we can possibly think of to make it more sellable. We are to present it and the best group will compete with the best groups of other tutorials, and then best of the best wins...i'm not sure what...but i'm guessing bonus points.

anyway, i've got this Indonesian in my group and he's really cool. He's got this really hi-tec compact PC which i think is from Sony Vaio. and he's got this super cool camera handphone. and he's got tinted blue spectacles. and he's got this really funny accent. and...he thinks i'm not pure chinese.

it's not the first time. people always mistake me to be Malay or Thai or Indonesian. there was once a Malay vendor had doubts about selling me food during the puasa month. it's so odd...not offensive...but odd. i know i'm dark...but i believe i've got very chinese features...don't i??

during my cousin's wedding, about 3 or 4 relatives questioned why i was so dark. and they try to be as nice about it as they possibly can, but i can see that what they're trying to imply is that being dark is bad. being dark is unfortunate. i say go fly kite!

i'm proud of complexion. i could use, like Weng Lum said, a more even tan, but apart from that i'm loving it. It gives me a less fragile, more tough look. and i like that!

i cant stand snow white people. Boys and girls alike. They look pale and malnourished. I know that not all of them are. I actually know some triathletes who are porcelein-smooth, silky-white skinned. But it's rare. So more often than not, fair people aren't active people.


i've been eating a lot. i'm so scared i'll go into a compulsive eating disorder. seriously, i consume a lot of food in a day. and i'm always hungry. my mum told me to stop eating that day. and that has never happened in my life! my family live to eat....haha...

Monday, March 13, 2006

A Famosa International Triathlon 2006

400m swim / 15km cycle / 2km run

A Famosa Resort

satisfying :)

the story
the short distance is due to the fact that i took part in the sprint event only. this is coz i had to rush back on saturday night itself to attend my cousin's wedding on sunday. though i would've loved to compete in the individual full distance, i am also glad i didn't. the whole i'm-not-in-form thing la...:)

the race starts at 4.30 pm. i drove and reached Melaka at about 1.50 pm. I called up Isaiah so that i could chill in his room. Which i greedily helped myself to buns and coffee from his family [thanks again...i owe u big time...].

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went down to the starting at about 3.45 pm. got our bikes on the stands. got our bodies marked. stretched outselves up nicely. went in for a dip to test the waters, literally. it was murky and the temperature varies at different parts. and the route goes around this island which i think have monkeys and peacocks on.

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getting my body numbered...

at 4.30 pm sharp, after Mr Chan Chee Seng gave his infamous briefing, the race started. I started at the back for 2 reasons - 1 being the fact that i'm a tortoise-slow swimmer, and 2 being the fact that i will not have my face kicked by dozens of feet which come out of no where because of the visibility of the water. The latter, however, was unavoidable. i swam my usual breaststroke at my usual comfortable pace. surprisingly i overtook a couple of people and came out not last.:)

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i've got a flabby tummy, bowl legs and a 3-tone body....grr...

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preparing to start...

it was hard running up a hill on friggin' hot grounds to the bike stand, all drenched and dripping wet. i think my entire transition slowed me down a lot. lack planning. i took along time fumbling with my socks, vest and number. then with my helmet, sunnies and bike. haha...

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Isaiah finishing the swim...

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Me finishing the swim...

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fumbling at transition...

off i went on the bike. my cycling sucked from the very beginning. i'm bad at it. no leg strength! i was overtaken by a lot of people. it consists of 2 loops. at the 2nd loop, oneof the checkpoint marshalls escorted me all the way. i seriously thought i was last.

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off with the wheels...

it started to rain when i came in for my last leg. by then, Isaiah was already chatting away. i laughed at the irony of it all. He offered to put my bike up for me [seriously...thanks again. i'll buy you lunch one day i promise] i know it's cheating but, what the heck, i was in no position to ruin the medal tally anyway. :)

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run run run!!!

those 2 km was the longest 2 km of my life. haha...i can't run after cycling. my legs become all wobbly and jellyfied. it took me about 500 m before i got my orientation back. i would've appreciated a longer runningleg. maybe 5 km. then i would say i'd have a better advantage.

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i came in, 3rd last, if i'm not mistaken. not in my category, but overall. hehe...Uncle Peter gave me a short lecture. and Mr Tee and Mr Cheng were giving me training tips. All these are indications of how much slower i've become from last year. hehe...

but it was all good. I had fun! Took my bath at Isaiah's apartment, then left for home.

Thanks again, Mr. Kee. I owe you and your family big big time. :)

Saturday, March 11, 2006

utter nonsense

i just got back from one of those post function mamak sessions with my college mates. it was a HUGE group and there were many new additions from last year's post orientation night mamak session. some of which i knew were friends' friends and friends' friends' friends.

the world has gotten a lot smaller since i started college. everyone knows everyone. it's amazing...some day i'm going to fall for some guy, date each other for a few years and on the wedding day, found out we're related~! oh no! that would be weirdddd.....

zoning back to earth...i've been made VP for Circle-K in my college. and though, i was reluctant to do be committed at first, i'm now hyped up again. i craved responsibilities back then. i craved being in charge. but that was when i had my people. college paints a different picture. everyone minds their own business. so i do too. it's hard to be active because meetings are impossible to hold. i lost hope to be involved again, since the first day i stepped into college.

but i met a new group of people this year. one that's similar to my group back then. a familiar feeling is back. i'm going to attend meetings, meet people, organize events, hold functions, get stressed, deprive myself of sleep, and then satisfy myself with a job well done. and i'm gonna love it.

tomorrow's my sprint tri in A famosa. And i've not touched my bike for 2-3 weeks. and i only ran once since the KLIM. and the last time i swam was 2 weeks ago. ha! i'm gonna have a ball!

Friday, March 10, 2006


the sky was turning so dark.

the wind started to howl like mad.

i had second thoughts about going to Taman Megah with Thahirah. but i thought i'd see what she says. even if we decided not to, i should at least give her a ride home.

i ran to my car as fast as my file, sling bag and pump shoes could take me on the bumpy road outside.

the moment i was in the driver's seat, huge rain drops started to pelt my windscreen in big heavy thuds. crap...

headed down the road to college and was caught in the annoying jam amidst the Sri KL parents. the rain was getting heavier and heavier. drivers were honking from every angle. [why the hell are they honking? like it would get us there any faster! dumbasses....]

around the corner i saw with my very own eyes, a tree branch falling down onto 2 girls pinning them to them ground. i wanted to scream for them. poor girls. Thank God it wasnt a very big branch. they got up and were unhurt. their umbrella was a gone case though.

i got into college. Thahirah popped into my car. She was a little shaken as well. It seemed the chairs and tables at the concourse were shaking and moving around. posters and buntings were flying everywhere. people fled into the office.

i veered out of college and was slapped inthe face by a stagnant traffic out side. so i was in a position that was directly in the middle of my college gates.

a huge gust of wind blew. i saw from my rear mirror the big gate swinging towards me! all i could do was screammmmmmmmmmm.

the car shook from the impact. Thahirah was stunned. i was crying inside. the gate bounced off and came again. the second blow wasnt as bad. but my car felt like it would turn turtle any moment.

fear enveloped me. i knew my parents were trying desperately to contact me. my handphone was out of juice.

i tried my best, manouvering around fallen tree trunks andalternative routes. finally sent her home.

then i did the same thing to get back. it was like a maze. everywhere had uprooted trees. i could not get back. after rounding the area i finally made it back.

my dad went ballistic when he saw the car. my mum was lecturing me about having bad judgment.

my back door is still functioning but water could get it. my bag was all drenched. i need to get it fixed. and its coming out of my pocket.


Thursday, March 09, 2006

3rd one

alright...this is my 3rd post regarding the KLIM. but how can one resist the opportunity to inform others about...


::more photos::

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

ain't that bad afterall

i should be asleep now. but i had the sudden thought of checking the results for KLIM and it's out!!

looks like i didn't do too bad afterall. 123rd position ain't that bad right? i'm probably in the top 1/3rd of the women's category? makes me feel sooo much better...hehe....

Monday, March 06, 2006

KLIM race report

so i woke up at 5 am, ate my nestum with cocoa, drank my chlorophyll water, travelled with my dad all the way to KL, parked at Bukit Aman coz the roads were all closed, rushed all the way to Merdeka Square, found Sam, checked in my bag, met all these running enthusiasts and braced myself for the twen-ty-one-ki-lo-me-tres!

and....contrary to the full marathoners, i and most of my other half marathon comrades did not have a good race. with a timing that i most definitely did not expect even with my low confidence and self esteem, i very honestly think the race was more than 21 km. But who am i to say huh?

i did a disastrous 2 hours and 58 minutes. That's 2 minutes to getting disqualified and denied of a medal. I never actually pondered upon whether people who did not qualify actually get their medals or not, or did the organizers really pack up at a certain time wether or not people have completed their race, or do they really do all the things they say they would in the rules and regulations sheet they give out. Simply because i never thought i'd have to worry. Qualifying times are usually very safe bets. that's what i thought. coming in through the finishing line, i heard an official say:

"tinggal satu minit lagi ar...pastu take medal lagi"

i supposed that could be a relief to hear, but it made me a bit sad. i've been lamenting a lot to may family lately. about how my running form has really really dropped over the months. I cant find an explanation for it. I've slacked before but it usually takes me about a week to get back into shape, no more. Now it seems like its taking forever.

anyway, all said and done, i still am happy i completed. i wasnt in tip top condition health wise also. Ulcers were one thing. But the day before, when i thought it couldnt possibly get any worse, along came that time of the month. i had cramps during race. i wouldnt be surprised if i passed out. :) but 21 km is a feat within itself, if i should say so myself. so, yay me :)

*edit* oh...forgot to mention about very kind runners who helped gave me little boosts of energy during the race. They deserve some recognition. One was this mid-aged guy who let me have water...coz the dang water stations were out of water. he said let him know if i need more. well i did. but i couldnt keep up with him...:)

another guy, probably in his late 50s handed me a Power Gel. [kenny sia's definition of Power Gel cracked me up] It was the one they gave out free. He said he didnt like it, so he gave it to me at about 5 km to the finishing line. He said "this will help you finish the race. it's quite effective." ah...such nice people. i now have this thoery that old men are nicer than young guys. haha....

here are some pics...

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*edit* My last 21km race report had me saying i would lay off the 21s till i'm ready, which hopefully would be this year's Putrajaya Half. i feel like strangling myself now for not listening

Saturday, March 04, 2006

once again you take off

once again you take off
with not a trace left behind
only the thoughts of you being here
lingering in my mind

it's creeping up again
what i feel inside
lurking behind, haunting me
refusing to subside

what i cannot explain
seems to comfort me not
what i cannot deny
irritates me a lot

once again you take off
once again we parted
once again my heart was robbed
once again my hopes were shattered


it's less than 6 hours away!!! (plays dramatic tang-tang-tang-tang music)

the power of the ulcer

i have a mouthful of ulcers.

actually there's just 2. one on the inside of my lower lip and another right next to my tonsil. but they're HUGE. both of them have turned into gigantic craters in my mouth. and they HURT like HELL.

The one on my lip started off with me biting my lip a couple of days ago. Now it's in a very strategic position where i can potentially bite on it again and again (which i did) and knock it everytme i brush (which i also did) thus making it impossible to cure.

The one next to my tonsil is a killer. I wince everytime i swallow. It's crazy! I went hungry this morning coz i refused to eat. Until my maid made some porridge. But the heat of the porridge made it hurt too!

These 2 craters in my mouth may be too trivial a problem to cause any damage but i'm seriously getting very moody over it. I dont like to talk and and i don't like to eat now. And i sure as hell dont like to run. And i don't like to sleep, coz i don't like to wake up having my throat all dry. I just dont feel like doing anything.



Luna Bar once again took me breath away. I love it i love it i love it! and i found out that my alcohol tolerence level is actually not too bad. cool....:)

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