Saturday, April 29, 2006


i've been very enthusiastic about climbing lately. with the Kinabalu climb around the corner, i've been asking my dad to accompany me to Bukit Gasing very often just so i can work my heart up a bit. Because i realised that i definitely do not have enough cardio training. So anyway, i've been going with an open heart, and an open mind, telling myself that the more i go the fitter i'll be.

i went yesterday morning. Keith decided to come along. I half expected him to be ten times fitter than me, considering the training he goes for. But somehow, it didnt really sink in until we got there. I do have an ego. I really cannot stand being the one to slow people down. That's because i never was. And i wouldnt accept it if i am now. But it seemed that way yesterday morning. As i literally huffed and puffed all the way up just to see my little brother's smug face a the top. Now i know he's just a kid and all kids are proud of their achievement, what more if it involved trashing big sisters. But i was frustrated. I was disappointed. It didnt help that phlegm was still clogging up my nasal passages and that i had immense difficulty breathing.

so when i reached the top, i was already biting back tears of frustration and pain. still trying to redeem myself, i trudged rather clumsily ahead of my dad and brother, until all of a sudden there was a little crack sound and intense crucifying pain shooting at my left ankle. i dropped down to the ground, this time, wailing and sobbing out loud like a little girl. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and very very much in pain.

other people who walked by gave me a look which i intrepret as "inexperienced climber". I sunk deeper into my own pool of frustration. But i was helpless as i couldnt quite stand up. It took me a while before the pain went away a little and i could put weight on it again.

i was still able to walk. up to today. not much pain but the ankle seemed to have swelled up into oblivion. Though walking causes no pain, sitting cross-legged does. I swear, shame never tasted so bitter. I just pray it gets well in exactly 3 days time.

I recently took up a job. It requires a lot of patience. It involves 40 little, adorable girls who look up to me and call me "coach". it's amazing! i have so much fun just making them run around, contort themselves and dance beautifully to music with a rope and a ball. I think when i'm long into this business i'll write a book all about The Best Job In The World!

i could get used to little girls drawing pictures for me...really i could. What i could not is thank my coach, Mrs Khaw, enough for giving me the skills. :)

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

long overdue post..

yea i know it's so unlike me to not post for so long. i have valid reasons, i promise. such absence from me is usually backed up by very sound explanations. trust me. :)

i was sick. good enough reason? hehe...

Quiksilver Revolution Tour

yes i went! my cousin gave me 2 free tickets and which better person to bring than my very own rocket-power-lords-of-dogtown-freak-brother, Keith??? in case you don't know what it is, the Quiksilver Revolution Tour was this huge event where surf, skate and music is combined into this wicked concoction! it was so cool! they had a vert ramp there okay! no kidding!

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so if you could only imagine, tons of bikinis for your viewing pleasure and tons of hot, sexy, tanned six-packs for my viewing pleasure. it was heaven. I need to get myself a surfer dude. a Jamaican surfer dude. hahaha...okay...*pops fantasy bubble*

so the main highlight of it was of course the performers. There were 2 local bands which was One Buck Short and Love Me Butch. The former was quite alright. I found it pretty amusing because the lead singer was this big round dude with long hair and he was jumping all over the place. but good music...really. the latter, however, was a bit of an ear sore. but yet the crowd was high and seriously pushing the limits of insanity.

The main highlight was none other than Click Five!!! i stayed rooted to the same spot from 7 pm till 11 pm because i wanted to catch them from a good point of view. When they finally came out, as bimbo-air-headed-dumb-blonde-ish as this may sound, all the aches in my feet subsided...the boy-band was no-less than international pop stars. I screamed my lungs out, my brother was jumping and bobbing his head like an ecstatic kid at his first concert! It was a blast! i forgot how much i enjoyed concerts!

here's a short clip...enjoy!

Malakoff Malaysian Duathlon Series 1 - Kuala Lumpur

This took place at Dataran Merdeka. I was very much aware of my new form, so i decided to take the sprint. i knew very well i cant complete the full. My disciplines were a 5 km run, a 15 km bike and a 3 km run.

It was alright i guess. I did a fairly good 5 km run. Not stopping at all. Fairing an alright timing of 36 minutes. Though i was one of the last standing, i still felt undeterred. I was determined to have a happy race.

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The bike however, paints a different picture. I was actually quite confident of my cycling this time around, taking into consideration that i've worked fairly harder than before. However, it aint good enough. i did alright, 42 minutes plus. I now love PowerGel. :)

Finally, the 3 km run was torturous. I did 3 km in 26 minutes! can you say Whattttttttttt??? yea i know. it's lame. gah...need to finetune my running some more...

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yup...what a wild weekend....:) cant wait for the KK climb!!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

as promised...

A picture-filled post! Sit back, relax, and enjoy the journey!

The trip started out with 5 friends, armed with Tourism Management text book and all, heading to Malacca for *ahem* research. :)

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daniel, adrian, grace, me, jayson

With 3 big eaters, Jayson, Adrian and myself, we had to start the excursion with FOOD!

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the infamous melaka chicken rice balls and Tan Kim Hock cendol

Then there were strolls at the beach.

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a melodramatic picture of grace from behind the coconut tree leaves

This was followed by more consumption of unhealthy food. which really wasnt very good...

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Capitol Satay Celup

and...who could resist a fair amount of camwhoring....

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somewhere near St Cathedral Church or something...

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At Riviera Bay Resort

And then, we ate again....

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Oh-Chien and Longkang Mee

i dont have any nice closing pictures...but the trip was great. I put on about 1.5 kgs which, i really am not too proud of. But like i promised the others, i lost it in 2 days - 10km bike yesterday and 5 km run today. In fact i lost 2 kgs. Which makes me 500 gms lighter than before the trip. :)

so, the trip was awesome. Let's just hope the presentation is too. :)

Monday, April 17, 2006

generosity of Pacesetters

Thanks to Pacesetters, all members get40% discount on all New Balance products till the 15km race on the 21st of May. So it is not surprising that i couldn't resist the urge to get myself another pair of shoes eventhough the shoe cupboard in my house is about to explode and boxes and boxes of shoes are piling up on top of it too. But i guess, a girl can never have enough shoes, moreover if that girl is a runner. Moreover if that girl is a runner and is entitled to 40% discount on running products!

so i needed a new pair of trail shoes for the upcoming Kinabalu climb. and the Bata pair i bought lived up to its name. Buy And Throw Away. So i wanted a new, nice, trustworthy pair of trail shoes. sue me.

to show how indulgent i am in my new's some pics...

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so...i shall leave u with that. Just drool, and ogle away. I know, he's a good catch. *beams*

I'll be heading to Malacca tomorrow till thursday. It's actually a research. It's for Tourism Management. I know...I've got cool subjects. :) So i'm supposed to research on hospitality and accomodation. But i guess we'll also venture a little into the entertainment and food sectors. ;)

yup...till thursday!

Sunday, April 16, 2006

of bad auditions, rock climbing and stolen handphones

i guess i am able to live with my nightmare of a performance for the Metroball auditions. Saying i didn't have much time to train is just a good excuse as "my dog ate my homework". I was told about the audition a good few months before. It is relatively enough time! Hell, i wasn't taught by Mrs Khaw for 8 years to know nothing about last minute training. (Mrs Khaw was my gymrama coach. she taught me the very skill of preparing last minute, mastering a routine in 48 hours, nailing it in competitions and emerging as champs) Thus, the time is not a factor.

But all said and done, i came up with a routine, went for auditions, and forgot it. *blushes incredibly* shy ler...i think i'm in. i don't know. I just hope i gave them something to remember. hehe...:)


I went to camp 5 with Lyn today! it's been so long since i went there! and the bouldering cave is open!! Though i couldn't do a single route there. grr...But i had a lot of fun. Plus, Mr Eye Candy was there. mmm...:)


Lyn's handphone got nabbed when we were in Watsons! It was picked right out of her bag without us realizing. She was scared at first. But i guess after a while, the thought of getting a new handphone sunk in deeper. :) But still...curse all you pick pockets and snatch thieves out there! I hope you trip and fall and become paraplegic for life!

hey...least i didnt say burn in hell...*shrugs*

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Who's the leader of the band that's made for you and me?!?!


ha...did i ever tell you guys how big a Disney Freak i am?? I guess it's obvious...haha...i absolutely supercalifragilisticexpialleydociously LOVE Disney! I admit that i'm a little old for Disney but Disney is timeless! Especially those animated movies back then. Just give me a title and i'll sing it for ya!

I went with Eleanor, the other Disney Freak. hehe...i chose the perfect person! There we were sitting amidst a sea of kids, singing along to all the soundtracks like nobody's business! I had so much fun watching all my favourite cartoon characters skating around in a pool of colours! *sighs dreamily*

Next up - Grease! i've been religiously tuning in to Mix FM trying to win tickets to watch the musical. And failing. I'm also a huge Grease fan so if any of you won the tickets and don't know who to go with, I'll be ever willing to drive! :)


as you can see on the right panel, i'm taking part in the upcoming MMDS in KL. i did say i was going to take a break, and i really intended to, but...Uncle Peter can be very persuasive. Or as Siew Ghee said, i can be very easily persuaded. Either way, i'm doing it. And i have to say i'm looking forward to it. I have been working out quite a bit, and i seemed to have gained my confidence back.'d be good to have adrenaline pumping in my veins again...:)


The Sydney trip is turning out great! I got a further reduction on my airfare coz there was a promotion. I have a place to stay, compliments of Keeran and housemates. And Melly and i have plans, right? hehe...


Tomorrow is auditions for Metroball performances. and i haven't even completed the song. AaH!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Circle-K Installation

i couldn't post this up because the storm was so bad on Saturday. my dad unplugged the phone cables from the other room and i didnt have a clue. *shrugs*

Saturday night was the Metropolitan College Circle-K annual installation. I have to admit that everything was done rather unprofessionally and that there was plenty of room for improvement. but i guess Thahirah was very new to the scene and i can give her credit that she tried her best. It turned out pretty alright in the end. :) What blew me away was Sam's performance that night. I had no idea he could sing so well! I swear, for a moment there, i fell for him. hehe...:) yes i think the ability to sing is a very sexy trait in a man. The dancers, Amelia, Sook Wai and Sook Yi did a splendid job! They received ovations and wolf whistles from the audience....i'm so proud of my performers!! :)

Anyway, music and performances usually have this effect on me. Especially if the song was a romantic one. So it wasn't surprising that i had the intense need to write a poem that night. And so i did...

for your reading pleasure...enjoy...

for every single day i go through
thoughts of you never ceased to appear
for i see you in everything i do
and in everything i see and hear

it could be a song that you sent me
during the days that you were down
it could be the lyrics that seemed to agree
with the feelings that i have around

it could be a shirt that someone wore
that reminded me of the one you had
it could be a something that i have seen before
that reminded me of the one you wanted so bad

it could be me going for a run
that reminded me of when we went together
it could be me trying to have fun
that reminded me how it was so much better

it could be me looking at your picture
and just wondering what you're doing right now
whether you're studying, or having a lecture
whether you've thought of me somehow

i know i can do nothing
but to try and overcome this love
yet the void in me isn't filling
and the scars seemed to be preserved

i know you know that i do try
but it's not getting any easier
for every person that comes by
can never be any better

so i cant help but think of you
time and time again
wishing and praying that i knew
how to stop the pain

Saturday, April 08, 2006

the big bad ball...

We were talking about the latest of events that were happening in our lives and Sing Foong told us that he had an annual dinner coming up. It is supposed to be like a prom, and almost the entire uni is going. So he said that he'd already bought his suit...for seven-friggin-hundred bucks!! i was...speechless....

So what issit about balls and proms???

Girls crack their heads, figuring out what to wear, what bag to don, what hairstyle to spot and what height should their heels be. Guys worry about who to ask, then worry about how to ask, then what car to drive, what colour flowers to buy and lastly, how to pay.

Isn't it overrated? I mean, we pay an exorbitant amount for a dinner we probably nibble a corner of each dish. We (girls) go all out to buy a dress just to outdo every other dress on that evening which cost us our half our life savings only to wear it once. We spend barely half the time at our tables, because we're going all over the place snapping photos with friends from other tables. We almost never pay attention to the performances except for the announcement of Prom King, Queen and the "royal family". We (guys) pay so much for both tickets just because it is said to be gentlemanly to pay for their dates. And after an evening of beauty and grace, everyone drops the act and heads to a nearby mamak, fully dressed in dinner gowns and such, just because nobody ate much...sounds kinda silly huh?

but yet, year after year (if we're lucky) we drool and dote on the event, gossiping at who's taking who to the prom. and it all makes sense. i don't know about guys, but this is from a girl's point of view. we all have that magical dream. to don a lovely dress, have the perfect date, be the envy of everyone, and hopefully, a spark of chemistry will go off. It's the whole cinderella idea. Almost every girl wishes to be seen as who she is on prom night. I remember during my SAM prom, i could barely recognise one of my classmates. She most definitely blew many minds that night, for she was one who sat at the corner of the class, quietly doing all the work, practically belittling herself behind her glasses. Like it or not, it is the time we try our best to show off what we're really made off. Yes...physical attributes and all. Because we're women.

To be very honest, I wasnt a firm believer of proms. I saw it as a dinner with extended friends. But my first ever prom experience was one i'll never forget. In all my years, I have never been treated with such kindness, respect, gentleness and understanding before. As frequent readers and friends of mine would know, i am not one for chivalry. I'm more of a friend to guys, rather than a girlfriend. I like my friends to know that i can stand on my own two feet, and i usually don't appreciate people extending their hands out to me because i always liked getting out of messes my way.

but yea...back to my story. Since it was, afterall, prom...i decided to let myself be pampered. and the fact that i had a date, well that's news to me already. My date was a very close friend of mine. One where i've considered as more than a friend before. We had a thing going on but nothing too serious. And i wouldnt dream of going to our senior prom with any other person. Long story short, it was a magical night. From the moment he picked me up from my house, to the very end of the night when he sent me home. I felt as though my face was perpetually flushed with content.

No...we didnt didnt end up together. But i did feel warm and fuzzy. He was a great date, and i owe the night all to him...

So, proms are overrated. But that is because it means so much more than just a dinner. It isn't just a one night thing, but the very meaning of a prom starts from the moment one decides to go to the prom and, wishfully thinking, the days that follow. And yes, i did just buy my metroball ticket. I guess the journey starts now. Except for the whole date part...something tells me i'm gonna have to make do without one this time around....:)

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

ode to my love

i've never seen such eyes before
the ones you have on your face
for eyes, they tell so much more
than words could ever replace

i've never seen someone so sweet
who knows so much yet say so little
just gazing at your photograph is a treat
with your cute little mouth and nose in the middle

i've never seen something so endearing
as the smile that put on your little face
as though you know and you're enjoying
being in such great love's embrace

i've never felt such longing before
to touch you, and hold you tight
the days to come have been a bore
waiting for the time i'll have my delight

i've never loved someone so much
even before i have met you
dear Ryan, we'll soon be in touch
when my trip to Singapore finally comes true!

Ryan Tan

Ryan Tan

Ryan Tan
tell me that ain't the cutest baby in the world and i'll punch u in the face....haha...
i'm a happy happy Aunt...:)

Monday, April 03, 2006

hello there...

hello you, how have you been?
for it's been so long since we spoke
i can only dare to look upon the screen
and your name is all that i have seen
since the last time the silence broke

how am i? if you'd like to know
life has been treating me well
my diligence seemed to grow
times have been good but slow
and i'm doing okay, you can tell

if you could see me, right here right now
you'd see that i'm lifting my chin up high
no longer shall i cling on to "how"
"why" and "what if", no i wouldnt allow
no need for times to cry

if you could see me, walking around
waving to friends that come by
a trace of pain could not be found
no, may gaze no longer on the ground
my smile, no longer a lie

but if you could see just a little deeper
and if you could listen just a little longer
if you could talk to me a little more
and if you could see right to the core

you could see just a little clearer
you could see that i'm trying very hard
and i've not gotten any happier
i've only become a better liar
and that everything, is just a facade

to no one in particular...just realised its been so long since i wrote a poem. and the blog is called poetically me. so thought i'd oil the rusty skills abit...:)

i amaze myself...

i started sourcing for information on saturday morning. printed out all that i could find. went to Raub. Didn't do anything but eat. The next morning i was up at 7 am. Went to the cemetery. Returned to my grandma's at about 11 am. Took my bath, and sat down to read through my findings. Outlined the points. Came home and lazed about. Went for Pacesetters. Came home, had bath and dinner. Watched some Nick toons. Came up to my room at 10 pm. Switched on the pc, chatted with friends on MSN. Started my essay at 10.30 pm. Complete it by 12 midnight. 967 words. Went down and had something to munch. Came up and printed everything out. Stapled it and taped it. 12.30 am - basking in my glory. :) i forementioned, procrastination is a skill. Not everyone can work last minute, stress-free i might add. i know...i amaze myself...:)


My inaugural cheng beng experience was an eye openner. Met a lot of my dad's relatives. For some reason they all either think i'm the eldest or i'm still in high school. It proves how little my dad talks about us. Man of few words, he is. :)

Had my own private humour when it came to pulling weeds out around the grave. There were about 3-4 guys, all school leavers aged between 17-19. Their fathers of course wanted to show them off, by asking them to do all the "hard chores". So they asked for gloves from their respective mums, and got to work. I casually joined them in pulling the weeds out with my bare hands, coz seriously, the [insert word for those people who spray chemicals on grass to make them die] did such a good job that all the weeds were dead. One can easily pull them out using minimal strength. needless to say, the guys thought i was nuts. seriously...has the population of brave, strong, outdoor-sy young men depleted that badly???


i went for Pacesetters training today. i know. i'm so proud of meself too. of course i made sure that Coach mani was there. Ah training would be meaningless without him! hehe...him leaving was the whole reason i stopped going there. So when i heard from Mr Wan recently that he's back, i immediately went for training.

Coach Mani is a great coach. He knows every individual's capabilities. He knows just what sort of training to give us. He knows just how much we have to warm up and cool down. And he gives all these crazy forms of work outs which give me excruciating pain the next morning just pulling myself out of bed. I love it!

today he paid me a compliment! He said i slimmed down! to my ears. But really...did i really? i hear that from a lot of people. so far...4 and still counting...and the truth is i've gained weight. 2 kgs minimum! hmmm....i'd love to go "but muscles weigh 3 times heavier than fats"...but i havent really been training hard. I cant explain it....

but feeling great! all thanks to Coach!

Saturday, April 01, 2006


it's amazing how setting goals and attaining them can do to one's self esteem. last night i was a shaken quivering little girl. but i went to sleep telling myself i had better get something done this morning. and sure enough, i was up and going at 9 am, in my college library resourcing for Vroom's Expectency Theory of Motivation. Though not completed, I do feel like a big slize of frozen oreo cheesecake has been put in front of me on a hot sunny i have been groping around in the dark and all of a sudden someone switched on the lights...*click* =)


i'm heading to Raub later. this may sound weird but it is my first time attending cheng beng. Yea...i decided to follow my dad this time. Else i'll never know who's who in my dad's family. seriously.


i'm heading to Sydney in July! i know i parents spoil me. Sure they gave me the green light, but read this: I'm paying for my own expenses. Yup...flight fare and all. Now i know some of my peers have always been financially independent. and this probably means nothing to them. but i am trying to pay for a lot of things on my own now. if you knew my parents, u'd understand.

but i guess i'm lucky coz big bro would be going with me. and he's gonna take care of all my food and lodging. yes...i love my big brother very much. :)

ticking time bomb

i've been a bit jumpy lately. i don't know why myself. i don't handle stress very well, i know, but procrastination is a skill i've acquired over the years. what i mean is, i have no problems with doing last minute work. i'm usually relatively comfortable with it.

lately paints a diferent picture. on monday i've an essay due and i havent started on it. i've searched for some websites on the internet, but non quite covered what i need to answer. and the fact that they need at least one journal reference makes it all the more annoying. i hate referencing. i've looked through something like 30 journals in the library just now, and i couldnt find anthing. i've searched vastly on the internet but they only provide abstracts of a journal for free. why??? dumb money-making idiots. knowledge should be shared for free!

i toss and turn in bed at night with the due date haunting me. in the past few days i've noticed that my hands tremble slightly. my heartrate seems to be beating a tad too quick. and my mind has been rather distracted.

i desperately need to go for a nice long run but i cant seem to pluck myself out of bed in the morning. and my evenings are spent trying to catch up on sleep or searching through the internet. i really don't know how i'm going to pull through this one.

my mind is constantly bombarded by not only college work, but also by personal issues. from feeling anger and frustration, right down to feeling sad and lonely, i can't seem to go through one day without thinking about the person who made me cry tears of anger, about my friend who's just been asked to the prom, about she who's patiently waiting for him to come home, about she who gets to see him everyday, about how i'm going to pay for both the KK trip and my trip to Sydney without bothering my parents, about how the girl i'm tutoring is ever going to pass the grading if she keeps climbing over my head, about baby ryan tan yu en whom i've not met, about the upcoming duathlon which i really want to join...

time is ticking....