Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Karen the RPM Trainer Trainee

Yes i have done my RPM instructor course over the weekend. I must admit I was extremely nervous before the course simply because i am not the best RPMer around. There wasn't a time where i breezed through the class with ease. In fact there was once i walked out halfway simple because i just felt weak and unmotivated.

But the course was extremely fun. And Tracy Minnoch was amazing. Yea, i really really enjoyed her teaching. I felt really inspired and motivated during the 2 days. It was hardcore RPMing...like 3 classes back to back including an RPM challenge (longer and more demanding than regular classes) on day 2. And i was able to do it.Feedback was good. Main thing is I passed and am now a trainee trainer. if that makes sense. :) I can teach alongside another instructor until i am confident enough to video myself and send the video to Les Mills Asia Pacific. Only if i pass then will i get to be a full fledged instructor. :)
On other things, I had 7 scoops of ice cream at the Haagen Dazs buffet just now. The guys had 8. I almost exploded. Kids, don't try this at home. Seriously. hahah....

Thursday, April 24, 2008

the bubble that i am in

i've been confining myself to a bubble most of my life. contrary to popular belief about my love for change and new things, i realized (just last night, actually) i am actually very comfortable and contented in my own comfort zone. i like being good at things that i've taken a while to be good at. i like knowing everyone around me that i've taken a while to know. and i like places where i am familiar with because i have taken a while to familiarize myself with them. i am most comfortable at my races, where every 1 out of 2 people i meet is a friend or a reader of my blog. i know exactly what to do form start to end; arrive early, park, warm up, talk to friends, gather at the start line, start my stopwatch at the gunfire, run easy, finish, grab isotonic drinks, meet more people. fingertips, really.

on the other hand, i don't like being at a place where every face is new to me. i don't like not knowing what to do next, and not knowing who to speak to next. take for example a chill out bar in Bangsar. I went to watch my friend sing open mic at the Attic last night. the place was nice and cozy. it was the sort of place i would like to hang out with friends at. But for some reason i couldn't make myself comfortable. the air condition was a little too cold. the people around me were a little too foreign and the drinks were a little too unfamiliar. everyone seemed to be dressed to the nines while i was sitting there feeling as if my RM11.50 top from FOS was glaringly similar to that of a peasant. I felt extremely self conscious, and would give anything to shrink to pint size so i could sit comfortably at a corner unnoticed.

it is an odd phenomenon. i sincerely hope to grow out of this security blanket of mine. i am but 22 and there is an entire lifetime of change and new faces and foreign places that i would be forced to encounter.

on other things, RPM instructor course is tomorrow. I'm feeling pretty good about it. :)

Monday, April 21, 2008

spin spin spin...spun

I've been attending RPM classes close to everyday in my desperate attempt to master the class in time for my instructor course. Quite honestly, i have never had such consistent training in my life. Not even when i ran my maiden marathon in March. Thus, needless to say i am feeling pretty well spent. Or "spun", if u may. But i have learned that i am...well...not too good at RPM as i thought i am. and i have learned that it actually takes people months of practice to achieve a level of fitness that allows them to breeze through RPM classes the way they do. and yes, i am actually referring to Aunties who are probably 10-20 years my senior. It is quite amazing watching their legs spin as fast as they do it, actually. Anyway, RM800+ have been debited from my dad's account. I'd have to pay him back soon for it. No turning back now.

am i confident? Not quite.
am i still game? Sure.
will i pass? Hell yeah. I better.

I suppose i'd be fine. I have a strong feeling the adrenaline rush would aid me through once i'm actually put in a spot, surrounded by people who are all pushing themselves as well.

That aside, i went kayaking with Keeran, Beatrice, and a whole bunch of extremely gung-ho, hardcore, fitness cum adventure fanatics. I felt as small and puny as a mouse, physically and emotionally speaking. But they're a hilarious bunch, so i thoroughly enjoyed myself. Training with Keeran was good. Putrajaya Club House was gorgeous. Had a ball. :)

Lacking training in swimming though. The last time i swam was the last triathlon. PD Tri was it? That was a year ago. Gotta start swimming soon. Even my running training have dwindled since RPM took over my life. I'm starting to think doing multisport events is extremely tough. Maybe i should stick to purely running. *shrug*

On other things, life as an unemployed, fresh graduate, professional bummer is awesome! That coupled with the fact that the boyfriend is just as free as i am...if that ain't bliss, i don't know what is. :) I can smell the green jealousy oozing out of everyone of you who's working right now. haha...well, put it this way, i've got freedom, you've got financial freedom. you're in a better position, trust me.

Anyway, Dennis and I hit the 6 month mark yesterday. May not be as long as some couples, but it's been great nonetheless. If i haven't been glowing with joy in the past 6 months, you must be blind. :) Here's to many many many more months!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Powerbar Stories

Ever had a reason why you are who you are today? How you're able to run that 10, 21 or 42 km race with such grace and ease? Or swim 1.5 or 6.5 km with several easy strokes? Tell them why.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

the game plan which failed

*edit* My RPM course got postponed to next weekend instead! whoopee...more time to practise!

The plan was to RPM once a day every single day till today. I started last Monday. Then Tuesday. Wednesday I missed a session because I went trail running with Keeran at Bt Gasing. And on Thursday, my diarrhea struck. and it didn't stop till Sunday.

Monday i recovered, but was so weak i figured i'd faint in class. So yesterday morning i went for Studio Cycling, which isn't quite RPM, but enough to get me sweating and back on track. I went for another session yesterday night as well. And this morning, i went for Olivia's. And by now, i'm so beaten up i decided to skip my supposedly final session tonight. Tomorrow i'm resting.

Pray I pass this training course, peeps!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

happy birthday mummy :)

for all the nights you've waited up
for all the days you let me sleep in
for all the meals you cook for us
for all the pots and pans that you clean
for all the supper you paid for us
for all the calories you take in because of supper
for all the ideas you've given me
for all the ways you make things easier
for all the light that you've made me see
for all the times i've left you in darkness
for all the faith you've had in me
for all the times i was completely oblivious
for all my antics you put up with
for all your antics that i constantly laugh at
for all the arguments we've gone through
for all the times where we just sat down to chat
thank you, ma, for being so fabulous!
Happy birthday!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Orange Run

As early as 5.45 am, text messages were coming in on my phone. I guess the rain was a convenient excuse for a lot of people to not show up for the run. But the rain didn't so much as cause my parents to flinch. So we went anyway. Dennis, his friend Jason, and Steven in tow.

When we got there, the rain had slowed to a very light drizzle. I didn't have anything to eat because i fear i would have to make toilet stops and there wasn't any along the way. I was even afraid to drink anything.

When I started to run my legs felt like jelly. I stopped running after barely 10 minutes. I was extremely weak and had slight difficulty breathing.

Anyway, i decided to do a walk-run-walk-run just to get a bit of exercise. Managed to complete the race with a horrendous time no less. owell...*shrugs*.

Daddy, Mummy, Keith, Dennis, Jason and Steven all had a good run. Or at least i think they all did. Food was nasi lemak again, not like i could have any. Goodie bag was disappointing. owell...

Sunday, April 13, 2008

you ask me how i'm feeling
and you ask me all the time
i always give the same reply
"dear, i'm feeling fine..."

you argue, that is what i say
even if i'm under the weather
well, boy, if you're next to me
my grey clouds just turns brighter

no matter what side i get up from
bring on the pouring rain
as long as i'm with you, hon
all efforts are in vain

even if my head starts spinning
and my tummy acts out of line
as long as you've got my hand in yours
dear, i'd be feeling super fine

i'm still sick. 3rd day already. this is some massive food poisoning. never had it this bad before.

i made money today. with my pale, sick face. :)

i'm running the Orange Run tomorrow!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Vienna Teng

Nothing Without You

It's the crowded room that breaks me

everybody looks so luminous
and strangely young
It's the crowded room that's never heard
no one here can say a word of my native tongue
I can't be among them anymore
I fold myself away before it burns me numb

Anna Rose

Anna Rose it makes my heart smile

to know you give love so freely
Anna Rose it makes it worthwhile
your love makes me see things so clearly
how it grows heaven knows
Anna Rose sleep well tonight


Did you know you're so beautiful
On the edge of summer
That years from now
I'll cry to remember
How very close you were
Knowing this will I reach for you
Knowing this will I reach for you
The way you want me to

Thursday, April 10, 2008

in the mood to rant

because i'm sick. have been purging all night and morning. 5 times and still counting. have no idea what caused it. all i know is i feel drained. completely drained of energy. and it sucks because i want to go for RPM.

because i suck at RPM. i need all the practice i can get but i don't know if it'll be enough. i really want to pass this course.

because i have a completed application form sitting on my left hand side of the desk. it took me months to complete that scholarship application. because of all the referee letters and true copy certification and personal statements i had to deal with. and now it's just sitting there because the darn Ministry of Higher Education's phone refuses to disengage. i think i'll just post it in. get the address from the website or something.

because i have four 500 word essays to write to apply for the astro scholarship. all of which has to be done one after the other because it is a darn online application box. i can't go to the next question until i'm done with the one before.

because the weather's making me sick and i can't do anything about it.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

the free credit, the cheng beng ceremony and the rpm class

i've been meaning to blog about this for sometime. but i hadn't simply coz it so coincidentally happened on April Fool's Day that i fear the tables would be turned on me and it will disappear before my eyes for the benefit of some sick April fool prank player.

but it's still there, and looks like it's here to stay. :) On 1st of April, while walking around The Curve with Dennis, i received an sms saying that RM50 has been topped up into my credit, making my credit sky rocket up to RM105. Shocked, first person i suspected was Dennis, but he was right there with me the whole time. The boy is smooth but not that smooth I'm guessing. Anyway, he claimed he had not done it. He even tried calling up Maxis for me to see if he could find out who had done it, using the reference number which came together with the sms. Maxis, unfortunately, has no way of tracing it. so, oh well.

My mum thinks someone topped my phone up by mistake, maybe mistyped one digit wrongly or something. Well if that is so, God bless that kind soul. :) If he/she had called me to ask for it I'd gladly return the RM50. But it's been 7 days and no one has called, so lucky me. :)

Cheng Beng @ Nilai Memorial Park.

I have signed up to be an RPM instructor if u haven't heard. (Note: RPM stands for revolutions per minute and it's the name of that spinning/cycling class in the gyms with the screaming instructor up on the podium in front of everyone. yeah, intense.) And i know i'm not the strongest cyclist. Not a very strong RPM-er either. But i'll get there. Yesterday i went for RPM for the first time since...October? November? yea its been awhile.

Needless to say i struggled to keep up. Ego slightly bruised. Self esteem slightly chipped. But i'm gonna pass this instructor course. even if it means doing an RPM class a day till the 18th. which isn't very far off. I'll get there.

Friday, April 04, 2008


i am at a transition in life whereby i'm caught between a fresh graduate who should be finding her own income as soon as possible and a student who is going into a whole new country and a whole new uni life.

ever since i graduated i have this unmentioned obligation to somehow be independent. that is, i want to earn my own income, so i don't need my parents to give me my monthly allowance anymore. and i can talk about work life alongside friends of mine who are already in the workforce. i feel like i am somehow required to find something to do soon. it's the next step in life, what else are you waiting for? that sort of thing. not that my parents gave me any pressure. this is just what society expects, i suppose. every person i meet asks "so where are you planning to work?" when i say i just graduated.

which is of course only the right thing to do. i graduated in November. had a good 4 months to play around. it's high time i got myself a serious, full time job. plus it's the whole turning 22. 22 is a year older than 21. which means i've become an official adult for almost a year now. i really ought to be wising up, and taking on more responsibilities. especially those with regards to my life.

which brings me to the other side of the limbo. i'm leaving in July. that gives me less than 3 months to work. It's not that i've had trouble landing myself a job. Quite frankly almost all interviews i've attended i was offered the job. So i must've been doing something right. Of course I had to lie through my teeth that i was here to stay. Which is, only the logical thing to do coz nobody's gonna employ me for 3 months.

but thats the whole problem. there's this feeling of "heck, i'm only here for 3 months" which kinda makes me not do things whole heartedly around any company. there's that feeling of guilt i carry with me, for lying. there's that feeling of regret when i see the days pass me by, knowing i should be enjoying myself with family and friends, rather than working till late hours in an office, all in the name of gaining experience and extra cash.

i think things would be less complicated if i actually was looking for a full time, long term, permanent job. then it'd either be whether i like it or not. if i like it i take it, if i don't, i don't.

my family seems to be encouraging me to take on a job, if i get offered one. i'm thinking of going for it too, because i really ought to be earning money instead of spending. part of me knows that i'd grumble and regret for sure. but the other part of me knows that i really have to go through this pathway sooner or later.

in May i'd hopefully be able to instruct RPM classes, as i have signed up for the instructor course on the 18th of April. i've been told the pay is RM50 per class. I have also asked to be YouthMalaysia's freelance writer too. that would earn me a small amount of cash i believe. but these side incomes are uncertain and not constant.

adult decisions are hard to make. can i say i don't want to grow up?

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

the great forty two.

when i came home at 11.30 pm from work, i sat down by my bedside and started counting with my fingers.

"4.30 am race start. means must reach before 3.45 am. means must leave here by 3 am if want to find parking. means must wake up by 2.30 am. means...shit...don't need to sleep di la!!"

anyway, even if i had the luxury of hitting the sack at 9 or 10, i wouldn't have been able to sleep. my heart was pounding. who the hell runs 42 kms with merely a 24 km mileage a week? that also, not every week i hit that. i think i only managed that 2 weeks. the weeks before that i did like 16 km only. i've got to be the biggest joke alive where marathon running is concerned.

the alarm rang too soon. i didn't sleep a wink. slightly agitated and nervous i scrambled downstairs, packed some gels (5 to be exact), drank some Powerbar Endurance and off we went, Sam, Isaiah and myself.

Found a parking spot right behind Dataran. At the starting i was jumping up and down, trying to shirk the nerves from me. Saw Eugene, then Stupe, then Uncle Choi and Jamie and a few other people, all of which kinda gave me a look when i told them my target was 4 hours and 30 minutes. A look which was a little sympathetic, like a "Oh boy she has no idea", kinda look. But i was stubborn and extremely naive and was quite determined to prove all of them wrong.

Race started and i ran alongside Sam and Isaiah. Both of them started sticking ipod earphones into their ears soon enough. i ought to get me one of those. :) But the boys were nice, and being the gentlemen they are, they talked to me and stayed by my side most of the time.

To be honest, I did not run at a pace whereby i was holding back. I felt like i was running at normal pace, which got me a bit worried because i knew if i kept that up, i'd burn out soon. Then i reached the first 10 km chip sensor and the time showed 1:13. that's when i started to worry...

i was running at a pace which i thought was normal, but my watch was telling me that i'm doing a 7+minute/km pace. i refused to believe that, even though i knew it was true. i wished at the back of my head that they had marked it wrongly, but i knew that an organizer of 17 years wouldn't have done that.

anyway, accepting the fact that i'd have to now lower my expectations and accept a 4:55 target, i was determined to keep at that pace for as long as i can.

the rest of the race, was pretty much normal. the boys kinda took turns to accompany me, very sweet of both of them. i know they would've sped off in a split second if they wanted to, but they didn't. i ate a gel before race started, and one at every 10 km. at 25 km, i clocked 2:59. that was the only time split i remember.

when i reached 30 km, my baby toes on both feet were numb. and i could feel the burning sensation on both my feet soles. my knees felt a sharp pain with every step. at some point along BB, i accidentally kicked a cone on the road and the pain literally radiated from my toes up to my knees. at this point i was already not running straight.

then there was that humongous u-turn which made my heart sink to the pits of my stomach when it came to view. i saw people running on the other side bearing marathon tags, but i could not see the u-turn up ahead. i hate u-turns. it came to a point where i heard my thoughts go "if i don't see that u-turn soon, i'm gonna bawl my eyes out". and then i saw it. thank god.

Along this u-turn i saw Abu and Adrian. Both lifted my spirits up a bit, because the slightest agitation would make me stop at this point.

Amazingly, i managed to increase my speed a little towards the end because if i had stuck to that pace, i would've come in later than 4:55. But i reached the finishing at 4:52.

I had a painful shower thereafter because i obtained some minor abrasions on my hip, probably due to the race belt i wore to pin my gels. i slept for an hour, ate a hearty lunch, and went to work. my colleagues thought 4:52 was kinda slow. i had every nerve to tell them "You go run a marathon, then come and talk to me", but i was too exhausted. i chose, instead, to laugh along.

Sub 5 hours for a marathon virgin is apparently good, so the wise and experienced speaketh. therefore, i must admit, it was quite a feat to have done it without much training. i guess running is one of the very few things whereby my mental strength is actually something to shout about. that is, of course, what i'd like to believe, but most people who know me would say that i have a male's ego the size of Mars. whatever it is, it made me complete that race. and, as Rahul pointed out, I'm the 10th Malaysian woman in my category. That technically makes me the 10th fastest female marathoner aged 18-35 in the country. sounds pretty cool when u look at it that way huh? :)

Am proud, really i am. Feels good to be able to tell people "Yeah i do marathons" and not having to explain that i actually do the side events and not the real event. :)

on other news, i've just quit my job...yea, i only worked for a couple of weeks.

reason being:
1. i really dislike the working hours. you could say i'm not ready to commit, not mature enough, yadda yadda. perhaps it's true. i need my time to hang out with family and friends. 2-11 pm from tuesdays to sundays just doesn't allow me to do so.

2. i wasn't too thrilled about the sales targets. we go through a meeting daily, and i can safely say i didn't like the person i was training to be. i sincerely like to train people, it is the fact that i'd have to prospect, persuade, sell that i didn't quite like.

3. i was going to leave in a few months. if i had managed to take on any clients at all i'd have to leave them hanging. that wouldn't be nice. guess i didn't think of this earlier.

I have learned a lot, though, and i wouldn't say i regret taking this job. i met plenty of interesting people and learned a lot from all of them, colleagues and customers alike.

so yea, no regrets. :)

too tired to write

I am officially a marathon runner. :)
Race report coming right up.

Thanks Mr Tey for the photo!