separations

sometimes i wonder if i'll cry when it really happens to me. i know i didn't cry when my kor left for Perth. i didn't cry when any of my friends left for their respective further education destinations. it wasn't that i didn't feel it. my tears just didn't threaten to fall.

maybe it's coz to me they're in for something really exciting. and it's more of a happy thing rather than a sad one. and i feel thrilled for them. i know i would be if i were to be in their shoes.

i could just imagine myself, jumping up and down in KLIA. i wouldn't be sitting down that's for sure. i'd be so darn hyper. i'd be jittery and excited. my adrenaline is gonna rocket sky high. i'd just be elated. and my family's gonna be there. my grandparents will be too. and my friends. Julie and Shirlyn. they'll be there. i don't know if they'd cry but i know i won't. sure i'd feel a little nostalgic and all. but that's about it. My mum probably won't cry, let alone my brother and dad. My porpor might tho, but my yehyeh won't. i'd be racking my brains if i had forget anything. my heart will be racing, thinking of my whole new life that's gonna unfold in front of my eyes. how can u cry when all this is happening??

to me, there's still the internet and the phone to stay in touch with. i mean, i know it's not the same and all, but i sure as hell know my mum would expect me to call every Sunday. and i'd probably see Ju online like everyday. same goes to all my fellow streamyx friends.

honestly, if i ever go abroad, i'd call home less frequently if i have a choice. i'll be online as often, but probably won't chat too much. i mean, that's the whole purpose of leaving home rite? to be on my own, to experience a whole new world, and bring them all home in the form of pictures, souvenirs, and stories.

i don't have a boyfriend so i wouldn't know how living-a-day-without-him would be like. that's everyday for me. but something tells me even if i did, and he left...i still won't cry. reasons explained above. i'd be too thrilled for him.

when Shirlyn leaves for Glasgow then i'll testify. she's one of my closest friends. Her leaving would definitely have an impact on me. if i didn't cry when she leaves, then i'd probably won't cry if my boyfriend-to-be leaves.

i'm not saying it's bad. i think it's good. i used to think what the hell was wrong with me when i was the only one not crying during the church camp i attended years ago. seriously, everyone in the room were sobbing and i just didn't get it! guys...girls...adults...kids...it was like a sobbing fiesta! but nope...i had to be that one person who's shoulder was everyone's to cry on.

so please tell me i'm not the only one with a heart of stone....

Siew Ghee is going to Canada in about 8 hours. Good luck to him! Guan Lim just told me he was leaving too, to Hong Kong. All the best! Kenny is leaving soon to UK. Bon voyage! anybody else???

Merdeka day celebration at Metro. i think the guy on the far right in white is quite a hunk btw ;)