on a more serious note

I feel like you've always been special to me
though I've never been sure why
I feel as though you're able to see what I see
and throughout my life u've helped me get by

I had always thought we'd be good together
seasoned by what others think as well
I thought if only we'd have the chance to be with each other
it'd be something upon which both would dwell

but yet things did not work out as I expected
though every opportunity was well in place
it occurred to me that our similarities collided
and everything seemed more like a race

would say that I wanted too much out of it
somehow or other I wasn't quite satisfied
soon I lost interest bit by bit
until it ended one day, and all I thought was "I've tried"

however years after much was forgotten
or rather they were meant to be
things became less blurry and more certain
and much more of it made sense to me

once in a while I start beating myself up
when I think of how selfish I was then
a spark of guilt would just erupt
thinking of how I used to just pretend

much have changed in both you and I
many separate paths we have both trodden
yet thoughts of you would occasionally come by
even thoughts of what seemed to be forgotten

and it makes me curious if you should get them too
it makes me wonder if I've crossed your mind
and the more I think of me and you
the more I'm drawn closer to you, I find

falling for you is something I don't intend to do
for I feel the chances I have are but little
but should I find myself smitten by you
I could only hope for it to be mutual