Saturday, April 23, 2005

[ why the gender segregation ? ]

sometimes i think my mum wishes i was born a son! Seriously. She's just impossible to get at times and somehow i think this issue is only faced by me. and what am i? the only daughter in this perfect little Brady-bunch family! grr...she just makes me so frustrated sometimes! and the fact that she bombards me with high sounding, bombastic words which have the ability to twist and turn in a way that it points to my fault does not help! It is always my fault when Mummy's the opposition team. Mummy never loses!

i came home just now and she was all about me coming in late again. Fine. then she went on about how girls should know how to come home earlier. argh....but fine. but the last straw that broke the camel's back was when she got upset over me not saying Thank You. What? In the first place, i didn't even ask her to stay up for me. And it's not that I don't appreciate it. I do. But during the past times, I used to go "Hie Ma! Thanks!" with a cheery face and all she did was just ignore the smiles and start bombarding me with questions which seem to increase in volume and speed as she rattles along, never failing to leave me dumbfounded at the end.

So this time, i decided to just smile and assume that I did everything right because I stood up and said I needed to go home (she always claims I don't dare make a stand when i'm with my friends and i just follow along), and I called her when i was about to reach so she could come down and wait for just like she asked me to. So assuming I did no wrong, i gave her a brief smile and locked up the doors. No, she wouldn't let me end the day with a happy mood. She had to launch into some inconceivable lecture on how I do not appreciate her staying up for me and all that. Then, it was "you're a girl u noe! you don't love mummy wan ar huh? i'm not gonna stay up for you anymore. since it's not appreciated. don't know how to think of others. always think of having fun only!". gosh!! i hate it when the gender thing comes up. i hate it man. it makes me hate being a girl, hate being the weaker sex, the fairer sex, the vulnerable sex. I just hate it!

and now i'm just plain mad because, after talking to some friends and pouring out my rage on them, i just realised that what my mum said was right and I'm in the wrong somehow. argh!! and that she'll probably bring up this topic again tomorrow with my dad and, believe me on this, my dad may be a man of few words to most of you, but he says the harshes, most straightforward single, individual words in the world. Especially when his daughter is concerned. I'm really starting to feel that my dad views me as the black sheep of the family, the ugly duckling. the one's that's different. He has less patience with me as compared to my brothers. And he never seems to fail to remind me of my mishaps, my blunders, my screwups. I bet that in his mind, he wonders where i get my genes from. My unorganized, shallow minded, short attention spand, forgetful genes.

NowI think I should've been born a boy.

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