Sunday, February 13, 2005

[ u n t i t l e d ]

Dear Karen,

Sometimes I think you're too oblivious to notice things. There are many things that you seem to overlook as u graze your days in your life. For example, the road on which you travel almost everyday, has a 50 km/h speed limit. You only noticed it today because there was a slight jam. And your family dinner yesterday night? You totally forgot about it. Sometimes I wonder if you actually did it on purpose, because I know that you know it's there. I know that you can feel it happening, or you can sense what is the right thing to do. Sometimes I wonder if you withdraw yourself from a certain action because you want to, or because I tell you to....

The thing is Karen, what I say may not always be right. It may seem like the best thing to do but, from what you go through every now and then, from lectures to breaking hearts, you know that it's most definitely not the right thing to do. Right things just don't have sad endings. Best things do. Because what seemed best at that moment, is actually clouded by emotion and feelings and judgement. Thus, you tend to act rashly. When that happens, honestly, the person that gets bruised the most is me. Guilt gnaws on me Karen. I hate it. It happens everytime you do something or don't do something without thinking.

However, come to think of it, Karen, there were times that I would say something and you would do otherwise. There were times that you'd turn down my suggestions and act as you wish. What's the use of having a conscience then? But I don't blame you. I've got a pretty good record of breaking people's hearts because of my rash personality as well. I know you did what i told you to do. And I guess those guys will always have a glimpse of that day in history when they see your face. Not a nice picture to paint...

Anyway, I think from now on, you should watch your steps a little more. That should save you from some more heartaches along the way. Because in case you didn't notice, Karen, you're missing somebody right now. And you didn't even realise it, until that person left....

What's that again? You wish I hadn't said it? Oops...i forgot...the whole surpress your feelings thing. You used to believe that you can make it go away if i never mentioned it right? You used to believe that it will only be true if you admit it to yourself out in open, mouth the words with your very own lips. I must say, that I don't exactly like being surprssed by you. It's not you, outspoken extrovert Karen.

But who am I to say huh? well, go on now Karen. Go say Happy Valentine's Day to your friends and family. Try not to wonder why you're alone again. It's pitiful.

Lots of love,

Happy Valentine's Day to all my beloved friends.

To those who have packed your bags, and left on a jetplane, i thank you from the bottom of my heart for the memories that we've shared. I wish you all the best in your future undertakings.

To those who are about to leave, I hope we could spend more time with each other. Though I fear time may be running out. I can only say have a save flight and may it be all that you expect and more.

To those who are still stuck here with me, thanks for sticking with me all along. I'd probably be on the boulevard of broken dreams if it weren't for you all. Everything you do means so much to me.

To those who put up with me at home day in day out, I just wanna say thanks for making me who I am today. I guess i really test your patience sometimes huh? Well, thanks for not wondering why I was born into this family. Even if you did, thanks for keeping it away from me...hehe...coz i know I can be a rather black sheep sometimes. It's the middle child syndrome I tell u...haha...anyway, thank you for loving me.

Love everyone from the deepest depth of my soul....Happy V-Day again....

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