| pride ego thing |

I went to Extreme Park today with Julie to sign up for the Cross Country run this Sunday. Yes, i managed to get Julie and Pei Jien to join the run. Also, Daniel, Siew Ghee and Weng Lum. Oh wait...Weng Lum's not surprising. ;)

The park seemed pretty bland to me. Maybe coz it was during the hot sunny afternoon that I chose to visit that place. But nontheless, I am dying to to run this sunday. The thought of muddy terrains, slippery slopes, jumping through tyres, and what nots is enough to set my imaginations spinning. And the fact that it's taking place in somewhere I've been wanting to go to for lightyears (but disheartenned by their high pricing) makes it all the more alluring. Maybe on Sunday, with the happening atmosphere the place wouldn't look so dingy, but lively and full or vigour instead. Exiting the place i saw Tawfig and his Sudanese friends. Maybe their taking part too? or maybe they're just headed to the futsal patch. hehe

Anyways...tonight's rhyme....enjoy...

i've always been a girl power kinda girl
and i'll die before i change my perception
i have this thing against guys who think
girls are and always will be an exception

i've always had this thought in mind
that i do well in the things i love most
like English and running, and all things me
i constantly remind myself not to boast

i've often condescended girly girl girls
for i think they care far too much about looks
sometimes i make a little mental note
belittling people who bury their noses in books

but as much as i detest males who think they're ineffable
or girls who, only on the outside, are absolutely stunning
it would take a sharp remark form a 3rd party
to make me realise that i've got my own pride ego thing

| s a d s a d d a y |

Before i lunge into my utterly disappointing blue blue monday, lemme first lighten things up a bit. Don't wanna get me cranky now do we? hehe...

My friend sent me this yesterday and i found it really cool. The green lights and all. He said he got it from...erm...forgot where...some techy website...so it's like Hey i'm on a techy website!. ahaha but of course no one on Earth would know that was me la. =)

ok...now to my forlorn story. Firstly, it's a Monday. I think that's enough reason isn't it? haha...well, no. It's the monday i get back my trials results. And needless to say i sucked. Big Time. so sad la...here's what I got today:

Maths Studies - 60
English - 69
Biology - 75

Okla...i'm actually quite happy about my Bio. Wait till Pn Wan sees this man! haha...and my Maths, I kinda expected worse so, i guess ok also la. But you know what they say...it's maths! how can anyone not score in Maths? more like how can anyone not score in English????

Moving on...my Leo IU Nite. Originally it's this saturday. But we have not enough time to get performances, sponsorship, and people to come! Plus it's right before PMR. So seeing that there'd be a brighter chance of getting more people to come after PMR, which is the 9th, we postponed it. Hmm...to cut the long story short, we couldn't get the hall they promised us. sigh...so, now i gotta change the date again. so it'll probably be Friday night, 8th. Friday night. There goes my umpteenth 3.6% of my flexibility. That makes me basically flexible no more!

hmmm and i didn't go jogging today! which is sad coz instead of burning calories, gaining stamina and breathing fresh air, i was pigging away in my room...then in the dining room! argh!!!

it is once again this time around
the exam fever rises high
to feel the tension i am bound
i'm not doing well, i won't deny

i could see hope in my mother's eyes
i could hear expectation in my father's say
and fallen i have in my many tries
makes me believe there is no way

often i am complacent with the fact
that what i have done is basically my best
thus i refuse to stand up and act
and prove wrong the perception of the rest

i subject myself to a lot of disappointment
but in reality the fault lies in none other
for i, myself would have to ditch resentment
and once and for all, start to bother

*~ and so it came... ~* (cont'd)

after 2 weeks of careful planning and Academy Award worthy of acting *ahem ahem*, we managed to pull it off. It was flawless. Well...almost. Andrew...tsk tsk tsk... haha nah...don't beat yourself up. It still was good. The both of them were still really happy. Besides, my *ahem* associates and I organized a couple of tricks up our sleeves to reserve the whole idea of a surprise party.



Thanks aunty for the finger licking good lamb chop! Also for the lanterns and candles that kept us company. =) Thanks for playing and acting along also! Ju remind me to show you your mum's messages.



Thanks for coming peeps! haha i bet the 2 of them were uber surprised to see you guys!



Hail the pro photographer!

More photos here courtesy of Li Hua. =)

I think good things come in unexpected ways. At least, said Murphy. Things happen when u least expect it. Like for example Pei Jien who was supposed to go out with friends, somehow didn't make it coz no one layaned her. Well, in that case, I think i'm gonna stop expecting. Though I won't stop hoping. Hope is the element of life. It keeps me going. But to expect, it takes a lot of "brain capacity" if u get what i mean. Which eventually brings a lot of disappointment. So to hell with expectation. I'd be better of just to...go wit da flo. ;)

*~ and so it came... ~*

everything went well. Will elaborate more tmr. darn tired now. but as a sneak preview:



Thanks to all that helped out...all that came...all that were there...=)

[ o l d ]

I feel awfully old. Gim class had never been so hard for me. I just wish I could go back to the days where I could at least arch a little further and split leap a little higher. And it seems sad that soon I'd be quitting gim. Giving it up for good. And as much as i suck at it, i dun wanna quit. Friday night has always been something to look forward to at the end of a monotonous week of cramming my brains. That and also because lonely ol' me has never had plans on friday nights. Still remember one day gim class fell on V-Day and Shirlyn and I showed up at class and Mrs Khaw went Why my girls so unwanted wan ar? Valentine's day also got no plans, come for gim class? sheesh...want to see her ma! Rub it in why didn't she?

I have to make a decision. 3rd of October is Powerman and also Extreme Park Cross Country Fun Run. Actually, I've already decided. The Fun Run it is. But that would mean disappionting Uncle Peter. I feel bad sometimes. But honestly, all i ever do for Malakoff and Powerman is pay them 30 bucks. I never get to win since I'm not good enough to be put in a winning team. Sure I get a finisher medal which is given to only everybody. And the shirt's pretty cool at times. But...but...tak syiok ar! I wanna win! So i think I'm very adamant about my decision. I'll say no to him first thing tomorrow morning. Sides, i've persuaded all my friends to join the fun run. They'd better. =)

My phone's going bongkus. First the screen wipes out every now and then. Once i had a phone call come in but i could see nothing on the screen. But it's on. Then just now the time was reset to 1.15 pm 1st January 2002. Doink phone. I want a new phone. But it's ok...i'll save the money for other stuff.

Like a new biking suit for instance! I got a new bike!! My bro bought himself a new one so he's giving his to me. Yes!! Now all i have to do is wait till he comes back in November and I'll be cruisin' down the road in no time! What? At least now i can I got a bike in Perth...coming soon. So, guys, still up for the challenge? haha....

I sometimes hate my metabolic rate. It's waaaaaay too fast. I'm hungry ALL the time. Like now. And coz of that, i get gastric. Why? Coz i'm too chicken to go downstairs in the dark, and switch on the lights and watch the lizards scurry away under the cupboards. Yeap. I hate darkness. My imagination is seriously out of this world. I still sleep with a nightlight. hehe...I'm only comfortable sleeping without one when i have friends over or i'm over at a friend's. Basically, when I'm not alone in the room.

Not gonna rhyme tonight. I need to get up a bit earlier tmr. ;)

*~ what i seek ~*

sunshine hit me at 9.30 this morning when my dear Lyn called. Told her we'd go to Sri Subang's Hari Keluarga at 10. Mainly, coz i wanted to steal another 40 winks. and so i did. 10 sharp she rang me door bell dressed in a blue top and a denim skirt. I was like woah gurl, u wear that to a Hair Keluarga? haha...anyway she was going out after that so, that explained it. I went to change also la so I won't look like her maid. the hari keluarga was okla. Was mostly to meet up with teachers like Pn Chia, Pn Ong, Mdm Leong etc. hehe...Lyn was also pretty well knowned since her mum's Pn Heng. Anyway, i told her about TAK and TAK Tangga, (anne, jane, if ure reading this Holla!!). It's our hideout from CL. hahaha ask me for more info. Then i told her about my experiences. Did u know i was once stangled by a group of indian guys? Story's like this. I was a prefect jagaing some taman place near the big BOLEH sign. anyway, these group of thambis were shaking a tree about to rip it off it's roots. So me being the oh-so law abiding prefect that i was *ahem* went down to warn them. Then they started inching closer on me and the tallest guy cupped my neck with his hands. Didn't really squeeze hard, so i wasn't really suffocating. But i could've sworn his hands were bacteria-infested which caused a rash the next day. Well, i was probably std 4 that time and i actually told a friend of mine to go get help from some of the std 6 prefects nearby...but NO they were just too busy to come to my assistance. yea...that's all...nuthin major. i lived to tell u ppl abt it in a form of a blog....=)

then at night i went to ICF (Inti Christian Fellowship) m5:16 concert. rawks! Jia Yin did this dance to Yolanda Adam's I believe. It was cool. There were a lot of ppl...so the dance looked nice. had some break dancers as well, but so-so oni wan la. what they could do i could do thanks to fookie. hehe. I met some ppl again, Ivan Butt (who thinks i'm handsome), yong chihui, jing han, chan poh lin, ziling, and of course my hip-hoppin' old pal Jia Yin! she's so cool...still remember she was the first person I knew who wore a spag top with a sports bra, which rendered me to bug my mum to get me one too. hahah so that was thursday's plan. =)

a waft of morning breeze was all i needed
to pull me into my very own world
aimless, directionless i was headed
into the life of that perfect girl

as i pounded down the road
i envisioned the life i wanted to lead
something reality never showed
and ignorant was i about my greed

i had hoped for someone perfect
the top notch cream of the crop
who was sworn to me, to protect
and place me as his very top

i had yearned for power beyond end
to be in charge of everything
that everyone was in my command
and i'd smirk at the credit i'd be getting

i had dreamed for the modern living
of automobiles and gadgets beyond compare
state of the art technology for my keeping
and a wardrobe u wouldn't dare to wear

then the bricks of my life crumbled
and my world started caving in
the pieces of my puzzle got dismantled
swallowing all that i've earned from when i begin

my pace descended as my legs tired out
my breaths were short and heavy
energy was fast running out
consistent with the imagined me

searching for the souce of my fall
i stumbled upon my mum and dad
aging they were, sickly and all
the parents i somehow managed to forget

for they were the pillars of my life
the foundation that held me together
and when they began to fail to strive
i began to get weaker and weaker

icy cold air slapped me in the face
it woke me up and made me realise
the root of the problem i had to trace
it was then i felt re-energized

charging up the steep hill
i knew exactly what i had to do
and knowing so gave me the thrill
my question is....do you?

what i did depends on you
implore yourself deep within
what did u think i had to do
and to do so, where do i begin?

all i can say was i made it happen
my life recollected as i reached the peak
snapping back to reality, my thoughts deepen
should that really come true, i know just what i seek...

ok, get my poem this time? hmm...i think i'm a bit bleary huh? ok, what i'm trying to say is, i was on a morning jog, and it took a waft of morning air to start my imaginations. so i dream of myself being this perfect girl, with power, modern lifestyle, a man, yadda yadda. then i started to crumble. in reality, i was facing an uphill. reason being was coz i've been ignoring my parents. so metaphorically, they're my pillars of strength. so when they fall, i fall. easy? so, i had to do something. i started speeding up the hill, thus overcoming it. and this part, i leave it to you all to imagine what i had to do to pull my life together. but i ended my own story by saying i made it, which was at the peak of the hill. so, it's like a comparison of my life in reality and in my fantasies. ok, now that you've got the layman version, go read thru my poem again and see if u get me...*wink*

- o v e r -

yes! muah trials are finally over!!! hahaha....

It's been some time since i blogged. haha actually it's only 2 - 3 days but it seemed like ages to me. Maybe coz I desperately wanted something to distract myself from studying. oh well, now that's it's over. i can rest for a while and relax for a while. Soon it'll be finals. The real deal. Then you'll see me crying. hehe...but till then, i'd like to sit back and let down my hair (figuratively speaking) =) First thing i did was catch PGL with weng lum, pei jien and han yang. haha the show's not bad. Impressed me for Malaysian standards. But I think some parts were a liiiiiiitle out of this world. The fighting scene reminded me of chinese kungfu movies, flying in the air and all. It's very bersastera. but nice. I agree. All Malaysians should watch it.

Trials were...ok...let me summarise it.
ESL was tough due to lack of time
Physics was worse due to lack of knowledge
Maths was hard due to lack of understanding (meaning to say i dun get wth the questions want)
Bio was relatively easy. *wink*
and Chem was...well, a killer due to lack of time, knowledge and understanding.
So there. I'm sooooo gonna drop chem wherever i go next time. I swear.

However, the post-trials party at My Place apartment was cool. hehe...well first there was a black out while we were getting dinner from KFC. Back at My Place there wasn't electricty too. Made plans to adjourn to my place, literally. however, my friends bought candles and lighted up the playground area. Vanessa found it uber romantic. hehe...in the beginning it was just makaning and chatting. Then things got a little funkier when they planned to dunk Kevin into the pool. Much effort was put into planning it though, not easy to full the smartest guy in class. Anyway, we used Kim Fei as bait, supposed to lure Kevin to push Kim Fei in, but then in the Kim Fei and kevin got pushed in. And Ker Yee too! dunno how that happened though. All in the struggle of getting each other into the pool i guess. Well, there were many rounds of that. Dunking, i mean. Till the guys found it unfair that girls were excused from getting dunked. Honestly i found it unfair too. wattabout gender equality? Bunch of party poopers. But that didn't last for long. Rebecca got dunked in the end. followed by myself. Then Vanessa. So it was pretty fun. drove home drenched but happy. =)

her eyes caught a glimpse of him
and silently willed his head to turn
to face her and catch her gleam
with hope for happiness she yearns

she watched as he started to move
but he turned looking right past her
he sauntered on, looking aloof
going away, further and further

out of sight he slowly faded
and all at once she lost her strength
her eyes swelled, her expression jaded
he took with him her heart at length

she knew she had seen but a figure
of her mere imaginations
of someone who might love her dear
someone who cared without conditions

she saw with her eyes, her hopes and dreams
but seconds after she saw her fate and destiny
drained away were her energy like a stream
as she drowned in what she was destined to be

someone unloved and uncared for
someone unnoticed in the sea of people
someone trodden on by beauty galore
someone kicked aside by society's cruel

as she sank lower she began to realise
a hand reaching out to pull her together
thinking it was he with the deep eyes
he, she had watched, had come to help her

surely, she rose, higher and higher
her hopes returning once again
she could see the day getting brighter
she knew her anticipation were not in vain

finally outside, she could see him now
upclose, she could smell his scent
and then, he changed altogether somehow
disappointed she started to resent

but then the current face looked familiar
and now she can no longer lived in pretense
she could now see the picture clearer
that the one who loved her was her friends

hehe...nothing gotta do with me. Just a random thought. Think now i'm gonna write poems that not necessarily tell my tale. It'll either be a pigment of my imagination. or empathy i feel towards another. or some deep stuff of that sort la. attempting to be a more mature writer here. hehe...

| pj half marathon |

i was up before my alarm rang this morning. that was like 5.30 am? guess i was a tad excited. hehe always am before a run. anyway, was real nice. Though there was like a sea of people. The weather was perfect. I clocked 1:00:03. That's like 60 minutes sharp. meaning 6 min/km again! yes! However, i got 42nd place. Medals only up to 20th. shucks...so much for being excited. During the run I overheard 2 men talking. We were approaching an uphill and one of them said "PJ Half the route very good. All the way flat road. This is the only uphill". So i thought, okay...let's pick up the speed. 2 km later i came across another uphill. panting a little i managed up the hill with minimal deceleration. Then sometime later, yet another uphill came in sight. Darn that fella. Flat road my foot! Huffing and puffing I made it by going faster even, so i could clear the hill earlier. so i'm quite proud of my performance today. *pats back*. The finishing is such that we enter the stadium and run another 300m or so round the track. This, i sprinted all the way. Overtook 2 girls form my category too. Upon reaching the end I heard someone shout my name. Have no idea who that was coz i didn't look and he didn't come and find me after that. Yup...was a he. My first guess was Khek Tjian since he told me he'd be there. But nope he said he didn't see me. Maybe it's Uncle John from Uncle Peter's clan. Thought I saw him in the morning. =) Came home and slept like a log for 3 hours.

Something funny happened just now. My mum suddenly announced we were to have dinner in Klang with my relatives. And we were to leave at 5 pm. That's odd. My dad was watching Harry potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. That's weirder. So anyway, as usual we delayed till about 5.30pm. I got up and went to bathe. Little did I know my whole family either bathed or didn't plan to bathe till after dinner went into the car and was about to leave. Then they noticed I wasn't there and called my room phone. So yea I rushed to go down. In the car, noticed that one of my contacts wasn't correctly put in, so I took it out in the car. Turned it around and tried to put it back in but somehow couldn't coz the air cond dried it up too fast. So, grumbled a bit, got scolding by mummy, so i had 1 eye with contacts one without, all the way to Klang. The dried up contact lense still in my palm. Went to the restaurant, I tried wetting ti with tap water, and sticking it in again, but think my hands weren't very clean, so it stung my eye. Anyway, took both out in the end. So was partially blind thoughout the dinner. the lenses i put it in a tissue paper. marked R and L. Came home it was all dried up already. Now it's soaked in solution. Hopefully tmr it'll be ok. =)

Okla...hari ini aku report saja. sudah mau tido lor...besok ujian lagi. Matematik oh! haih...hidup seorang pelajar manyak susah la...semua untuk ape? untuk cari makan besok. haih....slamat malam!

quick one...

quick one b4 i retire early for tmr's run. Going for PJ Half Marathon...though i'm running only 10 km. :)

Jus came back from the Dance World post performance party. It was nice to see all of them again. Got to know some of them a little better. I still think one guy is cute. The one who told me to find a girl instead of a guy. But he's in his 20s so...nah....:)...


haha...Webbie's camera shy....


the 6 of us sorta hung out together throughout the 3 days.
L-R: Erica, me, Sharyl, Webster, Kitty(behind), Grace

guess that's all...flag-off's at 6.40 tmr! gawd...byebye!!

not good enough

wanna know the reason why i'm so darn competitive sometimes? it's coz i'm not good enough. i'm always not good enough.

i'm not good enough for my parents
i'm not good enough for my brother
i'm not good enough for my stupid Lion
i'm not good enough for Uncle Peter to put me in a winning team
i'm not good enough for the freaking UWC scholarship
i'm not good enough to reach Grade 8 in piano
i'm not good enough at rock climbing
i'm not good enough to run a half marathon
i'm not good enough to get top 10 in my runs
i'm not good enough at dancing
i'm not good enough at public speaking
i'm not good enough for debate
i'm not good enough for my poems to get published
i'm not good enough to score As
lastly...i'm not good enough to win a guy's heart

the things i stated above are the things i do. the things that people know me for doing. the things i'm supposed to be good at but somehow i'm just not quite there. Talk about Jack of all trades but a Master of none. That's me. I'm the Jack. Basically, this whole post is about the last statement. I've learned that another friend of mine has been paired. yup...someone's got himself a girlfriend. and it is not that I underestimate people or anything, it's just if they can why can't i?

I can pretty much sum up what a guy goes for at this age. I'm talking majority, but not all. Looks. That's like number 1. Brains. yea recently brains have been turning ppl on. Style. things like cool clothes, stiletto heels, sleek handbag, great hair. Or maybe even skill. and by this i mean stuff that impress a guy. Like foosball which recently sweep guys off their feet when a girl is skilled at it. Or cyber games or pool. And that's about it.

Now, coming back to me, I wonder in which division am i deficient. I have my credits, don't I? i'm a runner, i am the president of the club, i'm an avid fun of the outdoors, i rock climb, i climb mountains and hills , i kayak, i canoe, i camp, i love dancing, i am basically a fun lover, i get As (maybe not straight As), i write poems, i make friends easily, i love my friends, i offer help generously. As for my negative points, i'm a slacker at times, i have this thing against smokers and prissy girls even if they mean me no harm, i don't score straight As, i kinda dislike reading, i have the don't care attitude when it comes to current issues and facts of life, i sometimes brag about my achievements when i'm really proud of them because i think i deserved it (hey, i wouldn't even call it bragging, i'm just happy that's all, ure supposed to share happy moments with your friends rite?), i'm big sized, i'm bowl legged, i've got annoying hair. So that's me in a nutshell from my own point of view. I consider myself a pretty normal person. So how come, I have yet to find someone who loves me for me...for who i am? what happened to good ol' fashioned unconditional love? unconditional. no conditions. just because. My 2 best friends seem to have someone who's in love with them unconditionally. shoot...emo kicking in....

time waits for no man

They always say that everyone
Has 24 hours a day
And so the productivity of each one
Should be the same in every way

But they always fail to consider
The things each individual does
Some spend their time as a reader
Others have activities after class

Every individual is different
Yet they're treated the same way
And it seems to me, permanent
That academics top it at the end of the day

Nobody considers the hours you train
Nor the time spent on creating art
They'd only care if you maintain
Scores in the academic part

So everyone does have 24 hours a day
And exams still count the most in the end
They always will, albeit what you say
And time will always wait for no man

untitled poetry

casting a glance outside the window
i see a scene painted black by darkness
lit by street lamps and moonlight glow
and insufficient specks of stars to throw
a hint of hope in this hour of loneliness

life rewinds to a moment once shared
by 6 close friends lying side by side
the value of silence could not be compared
to break the mood no one dared
as we prayed to the stars, hoping they'd abide

we prayed for comfort in a foreign environment
some asked for commitment to cope
others seeked a good time and enjoyment
of happiness and no disagreement
but in unison, all 6 prayed for hope

hope to carry home priceless glory
to prove the critics wrong of what they say
and champions, we succeeded to be
from the hours we trained tirelessly
the feeling of victory remains till today

hope is what we need in life
to get to where you want to be
and like a song preeching to strive
like a dance to show you can survive
hope to me, comes from untitled poetry...

trials...

thursday's coming real soon.

chemistry shall not be feared.

I need luck. Loads of it.

- h i p h o p e r a -

It was cool. I like the way they made it funny without being lame. But honestly, i think Johan can't sing very well. But it's still nice. Ben's so cool!! =) My compliments to Ming Choi !! good job there!

My mum and dad talked a lot of sense into me today. But i can't help but feel slightly rebellious because...well, they never had so much to say when korkor started his tertiary education. I know my course is...well, shall I say...unique. But what they say is very true la. I can still pursue it as a side job. Ok i admit. Apart from the fact that I love sports (I honestly do), another reason why I wanna be in Sport Science is to be different. I don't wanna do what the norm is doing. Driven by my urge to be different, I guess I overlooked the practicality of it. But it's not like I totally ignored the marketability, the difficulty of the course, the technical side of it. I am pretty aware of the downside of it and I have braced myself to face it a long time ago. Daddy somehow still thinks I'm blinded by only the brighter side of things. He has this perception that I'm this young, naive girl who only wants to have fun, ignorant about what I'm getting myself into.

What I want exactly, he asks? Simple. To do what I love to do, enjoy it, and still earn a reasonable living. How many tales had my dad told me about people not doing what they studied and yadda yadda. But I'm not going to be one of those people. I'm going to be the one who ends up pursuing a career that I have studied and earned a degree for. And it'll be what I love. And something I'll put my whole heart into. I don't know why he of all people can't understand that, because he has told me umpteen stories about successful people following their dreams against all odds. Bill Gates is someone he mentions from time to time. ah well....

Okla...tired di. Once again, Congrats to the production team of HipHopera!

and she's off....

Yuh Huey's leaving. Finally. She's openned the gateway to her dreams, travelling a journey she has no idea how would turn out. She chose the road less trodden on. And for everything that she has done and will continue to do, she has gained my respect in more ways than one. I don't think there are many (if not any) just like her. I can pretty much visionise her dancing on broadway...in Hey Mr Producer 2? hehe who knows?

Just now, she came and there was the ceremonial hugs and photo taking. Gawd I'm so gonna miss her. The next time I'll be seeing her is in December. nope not 2004, december 2005. That's so long. she's not coming back even once until then. Reason being there will be a lot of workshops and extra courses to take during hols. Plus she's gonna work. When she walked out of Villa tonight, Rosie, Lyn and I were seriously emo-ing. We were like sad...I think Lyn had tears in her eyes. Rosie's voice turned coarse and she started stoning. I, however, didn't start to cry and feel a lump at my throat. I seriously think there's some prob with me. It's like, there goes one more group gymnasts gurlfriend. so that leaves Rosie, Lyn, me and Kat (whom we seldom see also).

Yuh Huey, the person who pinned us to the ground when we were training for MSSM, Johor, 2000. She was the most down to earth person. I think she made sure we didn't stray away from practising. She was the person who did funny impersonations which made us roar with laughter each and every time. She was the one who went on trips with Operafest, singing and acting, and started to email us freakin long emails about the trip. She was the one who taught us stuff like protein diet and sticking sequins onto our unitards with UHU glue. She was also the biggest tai siew che of the group. With her big pink mirror and big pink barbie doll brush. haha we had good times. man we did!

sigh...who next? Maybe shirlyn? Maybe me? Maybe Kat? i dunno...but this group is splitting up. gatherings are harder and harder to plan. oh well...I wish her all the best. I'm quite sure I'd be telling ppl "I know that girl!" in future!

untitled

You know the kinda day where u just feel like watching a movie? yeap...i felt that way this morning. Besides i had to get yuh huey something. so i msged my all time reliable best friend julie if she'd like to catch one with me. ahah being reliable in this sorta thing, she agreed. so off i sped to Pyramid after shuffling to n from the ECA office and PRD (physical resource department) and Student services of Taylor's.

okie...let me just say this one more time. I hate Taylor's. They're stingy, they're selfish, they're incompetent. I honestly advice people to go into Inti, KDU, KBU, Sedaya or some of the less commercialised colleges around. Taylor's is far too rich to bother about their students. Trust me. In Taylor's the job of a student services manager is to avoid students as much as possible and put on a busy schedule and put all lecturers above students. I shall not rat on what they did to me that rendered such anger. Just take it as Taylor's does not deserve the recognition of all my Leo projects.

So anyway, instead of Puteri Gunung Ledang, i picked Wicker Park, due to time adustments. Vanessa recommended it anyway. It was...ok...i ain't telling much of it. Just don't judge the movie by it's first 1 hour. hehe...actually to me it was the whole 1 hour 40 minutes i was blur. Only caught the plot in the last 20 minutes. hehe...but it's nice. Honestly it is.

Got Yuh Huey her present. It's the metal thing. Nice la. I'd like one. *hint hint* hehe...I bought 2 bottles of water-free hand cleansers. Influence of Vanessa as well. Plus it's cheap. And comes in handy especially when i eat fried chicken with chap fan. =) Then met the whole Sky Adventure gang at the skating rink. Beat, I think your group of friends are really nice. happening people that brings cheer...=)

And Webster. ahhh adorable!! seriously. He's darn cute! rite ju? rite beat? rite rite?!?!? : )

~ chill ~

This took 8 years and 605 times of shooting to finish this advertisement, and it was done naturally, not by any 'high tech' tools or cut and paste graphics. They deconstructed a real honda accord to make this ad and apparently this modal is hand made and there are only 6 of its kind including the deconstructed one.
Appreciate it!

I wanted to post the above in the group blog. But something was wrong with blogger so i shall just have to drag it into my personal realm of thoughts. =)

I had a mock test today
And it scared me out of my skin
I thought I'd covered all the way
But I guess didn't even begin

I couldn't answer many parts
Left blanks here and there
Left a sinking feeling in my gut
Now that I've started to care

So I told myself that's it
No more crapping around
I need to shake free of this habit
And pull myself back to ground

I gathered a few of my mates
And forced myself to stay back today
The group study idea went great
Now I can better see my way

Though I'm still far behind
And have a long way to go
I handled matter with my mind
So now i'm moving fro!

Had this group study today. Felt good. But I still have a looong way to go. But at least, i think, it's not too late. I can only hope that I keep this up. =)

- c o p e -

i never had thoughts about
when i needed to quit playing
sure i worked a little harder
when the finals were coming

but even if i said i would
i'd never actually got down to it
i'd never been as serious as i should
but somehow i always managed thru it

i had always told myself
that i'd change and i'd strive
but my lip service never fails
and every year i seem to survive

guess, as important as it sounds
i somehow knew i never really needed
a string of As or excellent results
to get me where i was headed

and i'd always had friends with me
the people who lazed just as much as i did
every year we'd panick and make promises
but our habits we never actually gotten rid

and up to this year i was complacent
i built a wall against studying
thinking that i'd breeze through again
and go thru the cycle of complaining and regretting

but this year regret takes on a new meaning
if i really don't succeed eventually
13K of my parents' money I'd be wasting
Throwing my chances of entering any Uni

this year brings a new circle of friends
new challenges arise with new competition
nearly everyone has started to change
everyone gears up for the examination

but the thing that woke me up the most
was when she started to worry
she worries that i am not studying
she worries that i'm taking it too easy

her concern took a toll on me
it gave me a little spark of hope
but it also made me ask myself
will i be able to cope?

i don't think i've ever heard any friend told me that he/she was worried for me. especially when it came to academics. but then again Lyn hadn't been with me to see how i was all through school. i'm taken aback. it's like, when your parents worry, it's the norm. it's what parents do. but when your friend starts to worry, no make that when they tell you their worried, then maybe you should consider taking action. so i'm now struck by Lyn's concern about my studies. i have this sudden burst of determination to do better now. i know what i have to do. problem is, can i cope with it? i've always told my mum that i know what i must do to get that score. i'm just too lazy to do it. this is me. i've always been like this. so news flash people, coz i know many people think i'm like hardworking and smart, i'm not. proof's on friendster - my testimonials. there's a possibility that they're under the impression that all teachers' children are academically inclined. i'm no where near. i loathe studying. but this year, i'm just gonna have to force myself to love it.

untitled

hmm...where shud i start? K la. yesterday was Lakeview's anniversary dinner. Unfortunately I'm a bit old adi so no longer a member, so i didn't attend it. Was left alone at home so went out with Lyn for dinner. Jin Aun came along. Or more like Lyn went out with Jin Aun for dinner. Karen came along. hehe whichever la. We went to Shakey's ss12. Was talking about ol' times in SJ again. Gotla fang, shie ping, kim tat, yadda yadda. Love talking abt these things. =) Then went to Lyn's hse to chill considering her parents n my parents also not home yet. went home at abt 10.45? Got ready for bed to prepare for the next morn. Unfortunately was kinda excited, adrenaline pumped through my veins a wee bit too early, finally slept past 2 am.

4 hours later the alarm rings. rise and shine! Got ready. I was feeling darn excited! hehe i've not been running in road races lately. Always ran for tri relays, which is not really dat fun since i never get to win, i'm always the youngest, and i have to run under the sun. But i somehow keep going back for more. anyway, today's Adidas King of the Road was a blast! I was kinda slow. did 43:06 for 7 km which is sucky coz my time should be 6 min/km and that's for 10 km. Technically i should be running below that for 7 km. well, must be the lack of training. But I still had fun. Weng lum went along. He did pretty well also for someone who barely trained. I got 12th postition, got a nice silver medal. =) After running, I was getting 100 plus, or rather trying to, pushing my way thru a crowd of sweaty, counter-pain reeking runners. At one point i think some guy kinda took advantage coz his hands were planted on my hips. But that's what I think la. He could just be trying to push his way through. But still...eeiw...so i grabbed 2 cups of 100 plus and forced myself out. My dad apparently did 1 hr 11 min for his 10km run which is kinda slow also, Seira was complaining as well about her 5 km timing. So I concluded, the race course was inconsistent. It was longer than 5km, 7km and 10 km respectively. ahahah anything, blame it on the organizers ni! ahahh Oh then there was meeting Chiat there. That guy is...i don't know. First he yelled my name across the road during the race. Weng lum being the witness. Then he caught me at the 100 plus station after the race and started intro-ing me to his friend. weng lum being the witness again. weng lum thinks he was flirting with me. well, I wouldn't exactly call that flirting but if its what weng lum thinks, some ppl might think so too, so...i wish he'd stay away.

Then after a bath, went for breakfast. Had some kon lou cintan mee thing which was really nice. went hom and slept for an hour. Was woken up by cousins ringing on my doorbell and all. Today lunch was in my house and the whole family tree came to feast! But lunch was taking a bit too long so my cousins, my aunt and myself went to Carrefour to get my aunt a new phone. I drebar! Samsung, since she wanted a flip phone. Nice la. More yeng than mine wei! Went back home and dug in! There was the small lah lah which was...my gawd...scrumptious! So much so I totally forgot about the joint installation in Sunway!

Got the msg from Kenneth and i went Shoot!! So i changed in a hurry and got my dad to send me there. I was pretty much on time which I wasn't surprised. Was a tad late but it's ok. Not like I missed much. LEO - Late Every Occasion. hehe...Was nice seeing kenneth yee again! ahah Still don't agree with you having a pony tail. haha n cassie har! I think I spoke more to you today then the 4 years I've known you in smsj. ahaha Met up with Rachel Chin also...same person basically. Jen Huey too. KDU Leo prez leh! So next year I'll be goin to KDU and? Dethrone her? ahah not so bad qua...think I've had just about enough of Leo. for now.

After install, came home and slept. Woke up for dinner, but my uncl made me dine out with him and my cousins and grandparents. I really didn't wanna go for a few reasons, 1. I wanted to take a bath. 2. I wanted to revise...yeap...revise. 3. I wanted to sleep early. But my uncle doesn't take No for an answer. so I didn't have a choice. came home at 9 plus. But not exactly my loss. I had prawns mmmmm....shoot la. whatever I lost this morning in 7km was gained again in 2 meals. sigh...=)

After dinner called my kor as usual. Sunday nite routine. Told him all about the run. Sigh...used to be more interesting when I could tell him face to face, on the spot, immediately after the runs. He understands me. oh well. =)

kla...now i'm beat. wanna sleep. But didn't wanna miss out on this eventful day. so...=) nite!

Oh yea...little keith has hols tmr! sheesh...no fair...=(

When you're over someone

I guess I've always thought of you
As some kinda movie star
The way I know you'll never be mine
But I'd still admire you from afar

I think I'm counted as a fan
The way I find you so perfect
Yet I know you're all off limits
For me to somehow react

Like a star, I'd love to have you by my side
But so does everyone else that adore you
And inevitably, it'll disappoint many hearts
Once you find yourself someone new

So, though I have no feelings for you
It still bugs me to know that
You're single no more, currently unavailable
Guess, I'm down to accepting the fact

I think many times when we say we're over someone, we're not exactly over someone. To me, unless you no longer remember any of the times you had with that someone, no longer recall the way he/she stirred up your thoughts, no longer think of how he/she was once the guy/girl of your dreams, ure still not over someone. Sure, you move on but i don't think you ever get over it. As we all know, everyone remembers their first love, the first guy that went after you, the first girl you fell for, yadda yadda. And even if it was lightyears ago, you'd always remember it, right? My point precisely. You may or may not still have feelings for this person, but you will definitely remember this person. So back to my story. He has someone new. And I am quite sure I no longer like him the way i used to, but it does bug me. It's like being a fan of a celebrity, like i say. You know for sure you'll never be with that person. Duh. But still, when he/she is no longer single, you somehow get disappointed. Am i making sense?

Anyway, my mum thinks I need to be more serious in my studies. And for the first time, I have to agree. So I'm gonna try my level best to push up my grades this trials. And to do that I'm gonna have to sacrifice a few things. haha yes, including blogging. Basically, I have to sacrifice coming online coz that basically takes up 50% of my time. So, I might lay off for a while. I repeat, might. I still need to output some energy into somewhere. Not healthy to bottle up feelings, dui bu dui? =)

again...

I failed chem for the umpteenth time. In fact i've never passed it. This year that is. Sigh...Let's just hope that changes in 2 weeks time. When i sit for my trials. I cannot afford to fail any more. I'll just be another drop out.

Everyone went offline. Abandoning me.

I've got Mr Chin's homework to do.

Everybody's blog is either about preparing for exam, sitting for exam, or scoring for exam.

Gawd life's a b***h.

Subject: Qin Wei's update

Our beloved friends,

Our sincerest apologies for not able to reply to all the correspondences sent to us, as we have been looking after Qin Wei who needs a lot of attention in the hospital.

Words can never describe how much we are thankful to all of you who have sent us donations, gifts, well wishes, words of encouragement and prayers. With calls and support from not only our friends, but also from people & organizations that do not know us, we feel that we are never alone. Many of you didn't just donate, but also took the trouble to run rallies in raising funds. Our deepest gratitude to every one of you!!

Operation Cost

We are glad to let all of you know that someone has come forward to offer his help by undertaking the shortfall from our collection. If the transplant takes place, he has committed to pay the difference to SJMC directly. Thanks again for all your support this far, we deeply appreciate it.

Qin Wei's Current Condition

Qin Wei was transferred back to normal ward last Tuesday, 17th Aug 04 and is currently under observation. She needs to prepare herself to be fit and stable for the transplant. Doctor might consider discharging her back home to wait for the transplant, if her condition is stable.

Bone Marrow Donor

Doctor had shortlisted a few registered donors based on Qin Wei's profile (tested at a lower resolution previously). Her blood sample was sent to Taiwan on Monday, 23rd Aug for a higher resolution typing process. The result of whether or not there's a matching donor can be known within 2-3 weeks. The next challenge will be to locate the matching donor and hope that he/she is still willing to donate. The feasibility of using cord blood instead of bone marrow is also under consideration.

Tentatively doctor hope that he can perform the transplant by end of
September 2004 or the soonest possible as time is crucial in treating this
disease.

Just thought you might like to believe that some cases sent via email actually do exist...I never believed them till now also. =) This is the girl my Uncle helped out. Hope Qin Qei makes it. =)

How can i sleep tonight?

How can I fall asleep
When I have memories of the week's events
Playing slowly in my head
Of times i spent with my friends

How can I end the day
When all the things that happened
Still remains as fresh as ever
The smiles broadened, the wounds deepened

How can I drift away
When so many incidents took place
Events that brought about changes
Giving my social life a new face

How can I leave tonight
When the licious gang reigns again
Catching up with each other's lives
Filling in the joy and the pain

How can I face tomorrow
When time stands still tonight
But tomorrow life continues again
How can I stand up and resume fight

The fight to gain success in this God forsaken world
To top the others and shine in bright light
To hit the battlefield of books and exams
So tell me, how can i sleep tonight?

This goes out to the peeps i was talking to on msn. Julie, fookie, han yang (namely the Licious gang), weng lum...so glad to chat...unfortunately...Fasa pertama strikes hard...sigh...hisham as well, kok ben too...haha everyone la...sigh...tmr the battle begins...=)