new outlook...new perspectives...

Decided to give my blog a facelift...
actually didn't do much...just fiddled with the colours...=) nice?

For the very first time
Since i started SAM
I was the one in the know
And, out of all subjects, for Chem!

It felt nice to be asked
For help in a certain matter
Even nicer to be able
To give a correct answer

I guess I knew exactly why
I was able to cope today
Probably for the first time
I listenned to what the lecturers say

It left a subtle happiness
At the pit of my heart
And I'll probably have a long way still
But at least I have a start

I'll see if i can continue
To keep this up and going
And hopefully bring home some As
Or something worth praising

Then maybe I wouldn't be
The one who faltered a little
The one who lacked the discipline
And later lost the battle

Maybe I would now become
The one who gained improvement
The one who succeeded finally
The one with an achievement

I hope today's wake-up alarm triggered my rajin muscles to work. Or like my Bio teacher put it, stimulated the nervous system to send impulses to the brain. Or how my LAN teacher put it, "why are you all aroused?". hahah...that still cracks me up. well, i guess it's all in the basic fundamental and every amount of attention paid in class, unfortunately, is not negligable. ahahha gawd! one day of clicking with chem and suddenly I'm all about my lecturers! ahahahha =)

Satisfaction is....

Satisfaction is...
When you're project is completely done
After 6 grueling months since you begun
Now, you can finally have guiltless fun

Satisfaction is...
Getting something your parents want done
And doing it all on your own
Making decisions without depending on anyone

Satisfaction is...
When you're in charge of something major
And come obstacles, come whatever
Your confidence it won't deter

Satisfaction is...
Carrying on a daily routine
Eventhough energy is drained from your skin
You feel stronger than you've ever been

Satisfaction is...
When things go ultimately well
And no dark cloud seem to dwell
You know you'll be happy, you can tell

Satisfaction is...
When the situation is how u want it to be
Every friendship operates normally
Something you knew would come eventually

I'm done with ESL. I signed up for IELTS, something my parents have been bugging me to do for a long long time. even attended the first class, today!! My Leo Club needs a lot of tending to but I have this sudden shine of confidence that I can pull it through. I went jogging today eventhough i was beat to the bone. And the friends i had, are still the friends i have. The friend, I mean. =)

what a day!!

Rise and shine at 6.30 am
Knew i was gonna enjoy it
Bukit Gasing was the remedy
I never knew i was so unfit!

Was literally an uphill task
As sweat trickled down every second
I was panting after 20 minutes
Looking forward to every descend

I loved every moment of that
Definitely would go again
And I'll drag some of you with me
You'll enjoy it so don't refrain!

Then i drove to Bukit jalil
Which I admit was a thrill
Every new destination i drive to
Is a new experience still

Cheer 2004 was great!
Made me wish that I took part
The spunk, the zest, the undying spirit
The adrenaline rush from the heart!

I loved the active atmosphere
The sound of defeaning hollers
How i dearly missed Sports Days
The spirit that rises with the cheers

Hard to find such a feeling now
The passion ceased to exist
Which was why today's scenario
Was one i could not resist!

Then we adjourned to Pasar Malam
Been ages since i went there
Feels nice when I go with my friends
Feels good that it was a moment to share

Now back here in my own room
With two half glazed eyes
My english resting there, still incomplete
Snapping to wake up, I end up in sighs

Today, I enjoyed myself a lot
With friends that I cared for
I can't help but wish to go back
To the time we were like this before

Today was great! And the irony of it was I had only 3 and a half horus of sleep last night. Yet I was running on a full tank. And it felt great. To be carefree. To enjoy. As friends. Just friends.

Look WhO grew taller! haha

check this out...in ju's pic her bro grew taller...but in this pic...hahah...it speaks for itself. =)



For more pictures...go to my links...click on My Pictures....then "ahyat bao yu". it's some fancy restaurant we were at last night where i drank vodka and red wine! ahaha...okla...i sipped them oni...=)It's in swiss garden hotel btw.

so not me

I've always thought...
That I had it under control
That I could play it cool
Pretend that I was ok
But myself i couldn't fool

I've never been quite like this
Not last time, not ever
I always had a clear state of mind
Of the consquences later

I always knew what I should do
And what i shouldn't try
I always had a way of getting
Away from letting myself cry

I almost never do things
As hastily as i did this time
I never let my guard down
Coz it seemed like a crime

It went against my principles
To show that I was weak
I always put up a tough front
What i showed was never bleak

But this time seemed different
Somehow I lost all that
The ability to stand strong
The ability to confidently react

The ability to analyse
What might come out of it
If i did something rashly
I should be more cautious a bit

I don't know why this time
But now that I've woken up
I'll try not to do anything
Considerably crazy, so abrupt

I'll be more careful with my words
I'll be more cautious of my tone
I'll keep more things to myself
Leaving less of my feelings shown

It was amazing how I literally lost my apetite just now. I had never felt so much regret and guilt before. For real. It was then i decided to stop trying to make ammense. Stop trying to make things seem better when the only way to do so is to let go. I can just imagine how much your impression of me have changed since we met. haha can't blame you...

once again i apologise for what I said. I really overdid it this time around. So not me. Something i just can't explain. Don't think i'll try to anyway. Whatever it is i guess this is it. Won't be wallowing on this topic anymore. =) Seem to do more harm then good anyway. so to redeem myself, i'll drop the topic. Got better work to do. I'm cool. I really am. I promise. =)

can't run away...

Seemed quite dead when we haven't spoken
To each other for quite some time
I guess I was pretty uncertain
If what I did was considered a "crime"

Some might say I'm being paranoid
To jump to such a conclusion
But there's no refilling the void
That grew right after the confession

I think that there's a slight chance
A possibility of you avoiding me
But then what used to make my heart dance
Is now replaced by subtle worry

I actually felt a lot better today
As i swept my thoughts under the carpet
But just as the way people say
That's not gonna get rid of it

I don't know how long it'll take
For us to return to our normal ways
But to put on a smile, I cannot fake
At least for another few more days

I wonder if it would be selfish of me
If I were to make a certain request
And hopefully make ammense eventually
But for now, I just need the rest

Would it be too much if i asked
That for a while, we do not speak
I have no doubt it'll be quite a task
For me to achieve the peace i seek

I've thought of this as an answer
To somehow cast my feelings away
But knowing me I know I can never
At least for now, I cannot run away

erm...one more confession here...I was actually happier today. And i wondered what could be the cause. It could possibly be the choir performance i attended last night. ever heard of Let the Music Heal Your Soul? yea..i think i got healed by it. then today's dance class was pretty fun and i gave it my best. so it kinda took my mind off things a little.
But very very honestly...from the moment i saw your number on my phone just now, it all came rushing back...and now i'm back to square one. so i dunno if the only way i could go back to being just a friend is if i stopped talking to you for a while? But like i said, knowing me, I can't run. I can't shut myself up and pretend i never knew you. It'll probably cause more pain than good.

dull day

last night i slept for like 2 hours in the afternoon. skipped my jogging session. i slept at 12 at night. i was that tired.

anyway, the Bukit Merah Triathlon results are out. It was way cool! Next up, PD tri!!

urgh...dull day today....

It's in the stars...

I quote today's Star Two Starscope reading for my star Taurus:

A day when what you say has the power to move others in amazing ways, so choose your words wisely. As Rudyard Kipling observed "Words are the most powerful drugs used by mankind".

so, did i move anyone today? haha...do let me know if my words are that powerful. hahah i just found it amusing that famous writer Rudyard Kipling's name is in my starscope. What was it he wrote in our form 5 lit?

was holding for a hero...still am...

drained...

I guess it must be true
That it takes just a second
To say or do what we want to
Like make someone your friend

But to build experiences
Memories of good and bad times
And then forget its existance
That would take a lifetime

I also guess it must be right
That sometimes the answer you wish for
The one you wonder about every night
Wouldn't exactly make your spirits soar

But nor would it make you cry
Just when you thought that it would
It gives you something to learn by
Makes you stronger than you should

From this i found that sometimes
What you feared most might happen
Assuming it'd be the worst of times
Would really happen, but for a reason

But what I already knew about
Was the after feelings of this
I put so much guts into saying it out
I even had it rehearsed 10 times at least

But when it was finally done
And everything seemed crystal clear
I suddenly realised that from the moment it begun
I never planned about where do i go from here?

I could say i've been there, done that
All this was far too familiar
The feeling of loneliness and regret
Filled my mind, made it cloudier

But given an hour to sink in
And regret will soon fade away
It was the heaviness that will begin
All energy seemed drained away

Today i felt cold, numb
Not sadness or loneliness
My fatigue was harder to overcome
Like a stone, i was feelingless

Or maybe it was because i felt too much
Too many thoughts bombarded my mind
That my brain couldn't respond to such
The zest in me just started to recline

But even after all that,
Now that you'd be reading in here,
I hope you won't start getting upset,
Because i got what i wanted...answers...crystal clear...

Like i mentioned before, my life is a storybook. and i guess yesterday i finished another chapter. Though I find myself drained from any energy i had in me this morning, I guess it was fun while it lasted. We could still remain close friends (though i admit it's gonna take a while before things go back to normal). But it's ok. I came across a saying on one of those forwarded mails last time. And i found something i really liked a lot. I've probably said it to many of you a billion times. and that is, Don't cry over what has ended, be happy that you got the chance to experience it. Don't you think it's true? I think it is. And i am above glad that i met you. I'm ecstatic. I met a Superman *wink*. so, smile. =) and the whole world smiles with you?...why not? hahah...

happenings...

So many things are going on
So much that i want to do
So much for me to achieve in life
And then there's also you

There's so much for me to figure out
But i'm no where near the answer
I'm working on a time basis here
Your flying off is coming nearer

A tonne of things I'm clueless about
A billion questions evoked by my mind
And as the days and weeks pass by
More obstacles i seem to find

Activities carry on as usual
And it's hard to stay on track
I know I shouldn't let this happen to me
But right now there's no turning back

I've admitted the fact to myself
As much as i know the consequences
Now i have this commitment to my feelings
Eventhough it sounds senseless

So many things are going on
Sometimes it's hard to hold it all for you
I want so much for you to see
For you to know what's actually true

I really hope I'll spill it out
But i have doubts if i ever should
The story that unfolds after that happens
Is what i am afraid to conclude

Notice how hazy it is today...kinda suits the visibility of my mind. If i were to let E into this page, i think he's not that dumb rite? But the question isn't whether he is able to get the hint or not, but more to if he should get the hint or not...i just feel it's still too early...but then again, he's leaving...real soon...gawd...ok..i might really need your comments on this one...=)

what are we?

if there was one question
That seem to rise up nowadays
Frequenting the space of my drifting mind
It'd be what am I in your place?

If there was one puzzle
That bugs me now and then
When you call me on the phone
It'd be whether this is all pretend

If there was one fork road
I would meet when we speak
When we share our thoughts online
It'd be truth or trick

If there was one crisis
That will leave me with uncertainty
I'll never be able to answer..for now
It'd be what are we?

so, i'm confused again...what else is new nowadays? haha well, he is. everyday. a new person every time i talk to him. new feelings everytime he leaves. new questions everynight b4 i sleep. sigh...

the meaning

Once again you have me trapped
Enveloped by the sound of your voice
I still find it surprising every time you call
I feel as though today i'm your choice

But that's precisely what's bugging me
If i had been just a pick of the day
I do not know exactly what u feel
Or the meaning of every word you say

Every call that i recieve from you
I'd assume you have a reason in mind
It warms me to know you called just to chat
But forgive me if i feel u're just being kind

Call me paranoid, or sue me if i think too much
I can't help but feel that I'm just another
Another girl u decided to add to your list
To call and talk for at least and hour

But as degrading as that may sound to me
Even if i felt it wasn't even right
I still have the sense of thrill inside my heart
While i spoke to you on the phone tonight

gee...i wonder if i overexaggerated my words here. ahha...but it's true, i doubt certain things when i speak to him. It's as though my censors are ready to sense if he's not being sincere. I dunno...i dun want it to be this serious as well. He's leaving soon, and i dun wanna end up in heartache and what-nots when he leaves. But i can't help liking him at this point. oh well, 2 hours on the phone. what do u think abt that? ahahha =)

stuck in the middle

Crisis of the night? choosing who to take with me to enjoy my last free ticket of the Starlight cinema, a place i would definitely call romantic...

Wondering what i should do
Thinking about the consequences
What comes along with who
Thinking about out differences

I never thought i'd have to face
A crisis like so to haunt me
Let's just hope it's a passing phase
Coz if it goes on it's scary

Wonder what i'll be facing next
Wonder what's the next fork road
I wonder if i missed the fine text
In the rules of the love and friendship load

I never thought I'd have trouble
Deciding which to pick
I could've sworn my thoughts were stable
I'd never fall for such a trick

I've always thought I was strong inside
To fend off emotional cave-ins
But the thought of you being by my side
Have made me weak ever since

I hate to admit that i wish
To spend the moment with you
But the thought that instantly makes me cringe
Is refusing my best friend over you

I guess my principles still stand strong
And no matter how much i wish it came true
To that place, my best friend belongs
I'll put on hold my dreams with you

silly ol me!! how could i have a crisis choosing Lyn over E to go watch with me!??! this is crazy! Like DuUH i gotta choose Lyn! she's been there for me far longer than he has. so why issit i'm thinking twice and rethinking. I shouldn't even have to stall! It's Lyn! i choose lyn!! next problem...how to break it to him? hehe...

Ungrateful?

Is it too harsh for me to be mad
For me to feel like it's too much
Coz deep down I know I feel bad
But she's always acting like such!

I know it's all becoz she cares
Because she wants me home safely
But all moms care for children of theirs
I don't see them sick with worry

It's very hard for me to be angry
At least the rage doesn't stay long
Coz the feeling of guilt grows strongly
And in my heart hatred doesn't belong

So I can say i'm not angry with her
I just want to show her if i can
That year by year I'm getting older
I'm not a child, she cannot pretend

She brought me up just perfectly
My life has been just wonderful
I love her every second she's there for me
And the last thing I'll be is ungrateful

Just wondering if i'm really overreacting or she is. I know u guys thinks it's great that my mum cares for me so much. But sometimes, maybe it's kinda too much? anyway, some of u may find that i'm being ungrateful. Apparently according to this website, well here's what it says:

karen siah e-ling from this day forward
you will also be known as Ungrateful Leader

I'm not...i know i'm not...

to mark the end of my boredem (not that i'm complaining abt it)

(1) What is your full name?: Karen Siah E-Ling
(2) Are you happy with it?: of course! Karen means genuine, my surname's rare and i lurve my E-Ling
(3) Are you named after anyone?: hmmm no one qua
(5) Your screenname: galnexdor, hence the name of me blog
(6) Would you name a child of yours after u?:hmmm i'd probably follow the "single letter - something" chinese name. LuRvE it!
(7) Wat wld u name ur children?: Keryl [input] I-Ling, Lara [input] K-Shing, if it's a boy then Mr [input] shall have the honour but the daughters' are mine!
(8) If you were born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name be?: er...kenneth? something with K then Siah Kien something
(9) If you could switch names with a friend, who would that be?:I'm proud to say myself!
(10) Are there any mispronounciations/typos that people do?: no but Malays tend to pronounce my name differently
(12) Your gender: i'm a she thank u!
(13) Straight/gay/bi? : what? haha i like guys. ok? ONLY guys.
(14) Single?: yea...it ain't so bad when ure not thinking of someone, but when u are...it's kinda sad...
(15) What do you want to be when u grow up?: pro triathlete! outdo Stephanie Chock! or maybe just be happily married to Mr [input]
(16) Your birthdate: 110586
(17) Age: 18
(18) Age you act: haha...a little younger than 18
(20) Your height: i think it's 165 cm
(21) The color of your eyes: hitam
(22) Happy with it?: ahha it could be slightly browner...i mean not that i'm complaining...=)
(23) The color of your hair: black...but i might wanna change it soon...should I?
(24) Happy with it?: pretty satisfied
(25) Left/right/ambidextrous?: right...but i do NOT have any prejudice against the latter 2
(26) Your living arrangement?: er...with my family
(27) Your family: daddy, mummy, keith boy, kor (in Perth)
(28) Have any pets?: Keith boy hahha..jus kidding...nah...Keith's allergic to animal fur
(29) What's your job: college student of Taylor's
(30) Piercings?: 3 on right ear 2 on left ear
(31) Tattoos?: in the near future there'll be one above my ankle
(32) Obsessions?:extreme sports, havin fun, free outdoor life
(33) Addictions?: having fun...
(35) Do you speak another language?: er...i can speak a tad of Hokkien, Cantonese, Mandarin, BM...
(36) Have a favorite quote?: chill! / wah lau! / haha
(37) Do you have a webpage?: ure lookin at it
(38) Do drugs?:haha i dun even do them when i'm sick...hate pills hate any sort of medication
(39) Read the newspaper?:hardly...learning to do so more often now
(40) Pray?: sometimes when i need it
(41) Go to church?:nope...free thinker
(42) Talk to strangers?: ahha why not...i'm big enough to not follow them when they lure me into a truck with candies
(43) Sleep with stuffed animals?: elephant, pooh, the rest i've stuffed them into a cupboard. Note to everyone: no more stuffed animals for Karen ok?
(44) Take walks in the rain?: nope...but i wun mind seriously
(45) Talk to people even though you hate them?: er...if i have to i can be very profesional
(46) Like your voice?: haha yea...maybe if i can sing a little better then i'll love it
(47) Hurt yourself?: gotla...mentally...i tend to let myself down sometimes
(48) Been out of the country?: haha yea...gold coast aus rocks!
(49) Eaten something that made other people sick?: escargots? i love them!
(50) Been unfaithful?: er...to me i feel like i didn't do anythign wrong coz i tried to stop it as soon as i can but to the person inflicted upon maybe...
(51) Been in love?: erm...dun think anyone at my age has...say what u like, u knoe i'm right
(52) Sell drugs?: crazy!
(53) Gone skinny dipping?: ahhaha pls...i'm conscious about being naked in another person's bathroom as it is...
(54) Had a medical emergency?: dun think so...but as morbid as it seems i actually wonder how it'll be like
(55) Had a surgery?: er...not a very major one...when i was REALLY young i got myself a scar next to my right eye. will show u guys if u ask me...then i'll tell ya how it happened...
(56) Ran away from home?: didn't cross my mind..never will
(57) Played strip poker?: hmm...no...but...haha...didn't say i wouldn't...but then again, didn't say i would either
(58) Gotten beaten up?:nola...but i got strangled buy some indian guys in primary school b4...i still find it tormenting
(59) Beaten someone up?: tak baik wei....
(61) Shoe brand?:brooks, nike
(62) Brand of clothing?: nike (for sports), others it's anything that looks good on me
(63) Cologne/perfume?: Impulse? i'm using it to finish it...
(64) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: haha baby T and pants? preferably jeans
(65) How about parties?: maybe a little more than simple? jus for the occasion
(66) Wear hats?: er...to run sometimes..it's a cap
(67) Judge other people by their clothing?: haha yea but not that i would let that stop me from accepting whatever they really were if i got to meet them..i'm a gurl...it's what gurls do...
(68) Wear make-up?: nope...i dunno how to use them!
(69) Favourite place to shop?: ahahha...anywhere la...not KLCC though coz there's like coperate world!
(70) Favourite article of clothing?: my runnign vest, shorts and sports bra!
(71) Are you trendy?: haha i'm simple...simplicity is the essence of beauty peeps
(72) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: ahhaha dun midn la...anything la...
(73) Who are your best friends?: this question raises a lot of controversy...
(74) Who's the one person that knows most about u?: er...me
(75) Who's the person that you love the most?: ppl that love me!

a new chapter in Life

"karen.. she's like one of the best of the best people i have in my life.. i know i can always count on her.. like it's been for the past 6 years or so.. but i guess it's different now, like murni(?) once said, it's hard when ur sharing ur best friend with someone else.. but i'm learning to live with it and i realised no matter what i shouldn't give up on having her around even if she has someone else just as close as i am.."

Sometimes I wonder to myself
If changes in life are worth it
If meeting new people is necessary
If new experiences is compulsory
If my past is at the expense of it

Sometimes I tend to get confused
Different lives that happen simultaneously
I sometimes wish i can stop time for one
Just to let the other catch up on the fun
But memories spring up spontaneously

Sometimes I imagine how it would be
If fork roads never happen in life
If things go on the way they were
If changes were not meant to occur
Then of what exactly are we deprived?

But then again i ponder
About the miracles life's brought to me
About people I've met on the way
New memories I've collected each day
I realised I've thought selfishly

I started to rearrange my priorities
In common, everyone of us have to strive
We have our goals, we have our aims
No one has the right to claim
Whatever that's bound to happen in the next chapter in life

so, que sera sera. watever will be will be. But i just hope that you know that i dun want it to change any more than u do. And you're right. u can always count on me. I promise. =)

one step further

Right now my thoughts
Have gone from blur to blurer
What seemed misty before
Now got a little cloudier

Our conversations are getting
A little spicier, i'd say
As it occurs to me, you get
A little more direct each day

With little hints you let out
You're somehow trying to show
But you're being careful as well
Not to let your cover blow

I sense a change in your tone
Almost as if you're warmer
Like we're now closer friends
You've taken one step further

I won't deny I feel delighted
To have you reach out to me
But somewhere deep inside my heart
There's a sense of uncertainty

It's not my phobia acting up again
That I can assure you
But more like, my being skeptical
About the things you do

I have this question stirring up
Whether or not you're sincere
Somehow I feel you speak the same
To every girl that's near

Call me paranoid if you want
But that's how i picture it
Some people call you a flirt
So it's hard for me to believe it

I guess I just need to know
If it's just your way of smoothtalking
Coz I really hope you mean what u say
It seems to me pretty convincing

I really like you a lot
I've confirmed that so far
But I'm not sure how long it'll take
For our feelings to be at par...

a poetic evening

I had never thought that
I would be spending an entire evening
At a place that's wrapped in beauty
A special jogging outing
With just you and me

I had never imagined that
The thought of asking me out
Would even cross your mind
It's something i've dreamt about
Though i thought i had to wait in line

I had never thought that
Someone like you would enter my life
An actually regard me as a special friend
And i thought i had to strive
To be noticed in the end

I know we're only friends right now
Frankly, I'd like it to stay this way
At least for a while, at least for now
Then fate will play it's role one day

Actually i went jogging with him alone last week. Today there was someone else tagging along but still! it meant a lot to me that he called me to go again. And just like last week, it left me with that warm sense stirring up in me. Oh, and for those of you who are wondering why "a poetic evening", it's coz along the park were posters that read "sepetang puisi". haha..that's why...=)

clouded thoughts

I really don't understand
How this whole thing started
How it even began
How this phase of my life got created

I wonder if God has something
Laid out just to test me
Coz it seems to me very chellenging
Whenever I try to please every party

On one hand I've got someone
Whom I find very interesting
It struck me when our friendship begun
That he was someone I'd consider liking

He says the right things to me
And i find that very respectable
It is as though he understands completely
Plus, he's also very sociable

On the other hand, is another guy
Whom I frankly think he's talented
I personally cannot lie
That he somehow got me attracted

But that didn't last very long
For i couldn't stand the way he spoke
As though, to him, I already belonged
Everything he said made me choke

I frankly like the first one
That's something I cannot deny
But I cannot just erase thet other one
No matter how hard i try

Now the both of them want to meet
I can't imagine how that's gonna be
It'll be awkward from the moment they greet
What would happen to me?

oh well...Ju thinks it's a bad idea to let them meet. But they're both kinda persistent and frankly i wanna see how it'll turn out as well. So i'm begging some of my friends to come along with me. Pleaseeeeeeee!!! I promise i'll make it up to you all. I think it'll actually be kinda interesting...haha...

back to dreaming...

Back from the fun and excitement
The thrills and joys of a holiday
I return to my very own PC
And start to jot down things i wanna say

Naturally, thoughts flow in and out
My mind activates itself
Slowly but surely I change back
To my poetic self

Tonight, only one thought in mind
Distracts me from thinking straight
It involves him as expected
Sometimes, it swallows me whole i'm afraid

I get lost in my own train of thoughts
I kept thinking of what he said
It is as though he's hinting it out
But then again it could be something my mind creates

I think we've got a lot in common
And I'd say we get along pretty well
Somehow i think that there's a chance
We would be closer, i can tell

But to avoid getting hurt once more
Or raising my hopes for nothing
I'll play it cool, keep things normal
And carry on just dreaming...

Dream dream dream dream dream....=)

i'm back!!

Jus got back from Lumut/Pangkor!! It was fun!! There's too much details to write it out poetically so i'm just gonna type it out this way. =)

First and foremost, I went for the Malaysian Malakoff Duathlon Series II. The results just came in. Apparently I got 6th place instead of 5th. Kinda disappointing la coz my cylist said he was in 4th position. Meaning to say I was overtaken by 2 mixed team relay runners instead of 1. sigh...i hope i didn't let any of my team mates down! The weather was freakin' hot! Try running at 10 am man! I'm tanned now..very tanned...when i'm rajin enough to load the pics i'll put them here. But overall i had fun la during the race. The peeps were nice n friendly. Glad to see that I'm pretty much one of them now...haha...coz they know me by name and we have respectable runner conversations hehe. But they're all freakin good and I'm no where near them. =) oh well, like they all say, i'm still young hehe....I wanna get a bike! anyone knows anywhere i can get racing bikes that is "yau peng yau leng"? hehe....

The holiday was fun except for a minor problem. It was that time of the month. so that pretty much ruined half my holidays, including the run a bit, considering that it was a beach holiday where it involves a lot of getting into the water. Sigh...sometimes it sucks to be a gurl! oh well, who am I to complain haha. I still had fun though. Walking on the beach, gazing at the stars, wishing ahem was by my side! haha...I went with Shirlyn so I had fun "pak-toh-ing" with her. erm...anything else? The beach rox! Next time it's a beach holiday for us ok!?!? but I'll be nice to all the gurls in our gang and try to schedule it to suit all their time of the months. haha...

apart from that, E is still on my mind. K is still bugging me. That's pretty much life for me now huh? ahahha oh well, kinda interesting i guess. E and I are getting closer. It's only natural! We have things in common. =) I kinda asked him to go the Ledang trip, beat. haha so u'll get to meet him if he goes.

Okla...dun wanna crap so much...gtg get ready for futsal!! haha yea...u read it right. i'm actually going for a fustal match! talk about suicide. oh well, it'll be fun. =)