Thursday, April 15, 2004

* doubt *

Maybe it's just in me
Since it comes around a lot
Maybe I'm still not ready
My thoughts are all in knots

There always seem to be
A time where i'd have doubt
I think that commitment is scary
I'm afraid of what it's all about

I'm afraid that i would change my mind
Half way through the relationship
It happened before last time
Guess i still haven't caught my grip

I have hurt others before
By turning my back half way
I said I like him so much more
But ended up shying away

Since then I always get a feeling
Everytime I try to get too close
A fear of history repeating
And i had vowed to avoid those

I had once vowed that I would not
Hurt anyone else again
But now, meeting him, i must've forgot
That I am capable of causing pain

But JUST just now i got the feeling
And almost wished it never begun
I almost felt that I was regretting
That i even thought of starting this one

That feeling creeps me out
But as i talk to him again
I have not the slightest doubt
That this would involve, for either side, any pain....

Let u in on a secret...I had liked someone in the past....told him that i liked him...just when things were going well, i suddenly felt like i didn't like him anymore. Trust me the feeling of guilt is horrible!! And it happened again! to another person. I think i'm afraid of commitment. hmmm....

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