Tuesday, August 12, 2008

scattered.

warning: long long long mirage of words which may or may not make any sense depending on how well you know me.

it's 3.40 pm and i feel like my thoughts are just scattered all over the place. the sun has finally come out to play, just when i'm done with all my classes and need not be outside anymore. still, i've gotten pretty used to walking in the rain, as a matter of fact, i love it. it gives me this sort of transcending feeling having little droplets of water getting caught on my fleece pullover because it doesnt absorb water. kinda makes it easier to form thoughts. eeps. there i go thinking again. and thinking about thinking. i've become quite a loner, i must say. shying away from people, making beelines towards the double empty seats in the bus and ploking my bag down so hopefully no one would have to sit next to me. but if there was someone who wanted a seat i would allow it la, i'm not the kind who growls and death stares people, don't worry. but it reminds me of my first few weeks in Metro, how, out of spite, i was determined to remain low key, hit the classes then hit the road, avoid societies, avoid activities, nada, zilch. but look how that turned out? so i'm sitting here by my little window in my room, and wondering to myself if it will be just like Metro. that in no time i'd be walking along corridors smiling and waving to 1 in every 3 people who walks by, joining in all the fun and festivities, making a home away from home. but in many ways, uni life is a huge difference from college life. unis are huge. and diverse. and i...just feel small most parts of the day. i feel little. and foreign. which i am. but uncannily i also feel old. so it's old, little and foreign. but i have a few friends of my own now. friends which i have made from classes. friends of friends. and old school mates with whom i hang out with off and on. off and on referring to times where i feel like splurging on lunch. i've got no work today. which feels odd. i've almost gotten used to having work after classes. in fact i kinda want to work today. i've got nothing else to do! owell, guess a little revising wouldn't hurt. my mid semester break is just around the corner. 1st sept - 13 sept. 2 weeks! i wanna do something. get out get free! i hope sher mayne doesnt have plans. and if she has, i hope she includes me. haha...i want wan ton mee. the flat noodles. kon lou. i want the fried chicken in ss14 which Rosie calls steroid chicken coz it's oh-so-yummilicious. i want fried stuff. deep fried to a golden brown, crunchy with every bite. i can't deep fry stuff here because i don't have a wok. i think i shall have KFC this weekend. i find myself going through an array of mood swings. or rather perception swings, if you may. perception of time, to be specific. there are days, where i feel like time is moving so fast! like omg is it Tuesday again? time to bring out the bin. Didn't i just bring it out a few days ago? and then i'd be a little cheery because it means i'm heading home soon! then on some days, especially on sad, rainy, gloomy days. i think of the entire 3 years that i've got to complete this degree. and i'm barely halfway into semester 1. i've got 5.5 semesters to go. and when i think of that i start thinking of the changes and all that i would go through before the day arrives where i wear that regalia for the 2nd time, this time have my whole family with me, and Dennis too hopefully. honestly speaking, right this moment, that very day would be the happiest day of my life. i've pictured it like a billion times. nope, nothing else will beat how i feel on that day, i reckon. however, it'll be so different. friends whom i grew up with, friends who were with me in school and college, they'd be in the workforce a good 3-4 years by then. some would probably be making plans to get married soon. some would be moving abroad. i think...i can't wait to see how the future turns out.

and yeap. that's about the end of my thoughts for now. it's all in one messy paragraph because thats just how it is in my head.

anyway, just wanna wish this woman here a happy birthday.
Happy 23rd Birthday
Grace Tan Lay Hong!!

Have a blast!

5 comments:

ling said...

hey dear...

I know how you feel.. I felt like that the first few months in Singapore and its especially sad if you haven't found your niche yet... but i'm sure you will find it soon :) you've always been the outgoing and sociable one! but time is going to flyyyy like crazy once you get into the swing of things. Cheer up :)

gOrgeOus gRaCe said...

yeah i agree what ling say...*by the way hi*....time flies....u see im in Malaysia now....*still missing Perth* so no worries Karen im sure u will do very well... =)


thanks for the birthday wish... *shouldnt put my age in..hehe* i was shock to see my photo in your blog...

galnexdor said...

mei: haha thanks...yea im fitting in bit by bit, should be good in no time..

grace: ahahhaah go back to perth la if u miss perth...tell ur parents u wanna find work in perth...=) hahaaha still young waaaat

shirlyn said...

ren..."y so emo??"

hahaha..cant blame u la..i was like this..n the bad news is (hopefully it wun happen to u), the emo-ness doesnt go away...

just try to find more stuff to do to occupy urself..which im sure u will..slowly u'll get used to everything...

galnexdor said...

ahhaah hey lyn...yup...sometimes i feel like packing up the whole of subang and bringing it here...ahah

yea getting better n better don worry...=)