mission statement

What have i been doing all this while? Wishing upon something that would never come true. I knew that it would never come true. Yet I prayed and wished and harped and pondered and indulged in that very something which made me the person i hated to be - all flustered, un-composed, falling apart, static.

Yes. i have come to a sudden, abrupt self revelation. A self discovery, so to speak. It's. not. worth. it. It never was. If I had to go through so many days, weeks and months of emotional torment, only to seek an answer which I have known all along...an answer which I know would shatter my heart into a gazillion pieces before I am able to rebuild it piece by piece to find peace of mind (who knows when will that be, by the way. Who knows when I'd stand up again, look the world in the face and holler out "Ok men, i'm ready now")...then it's not worth the pain.

I met an old friend today. and she made me realise my own worth. Her simple yet honest comment on how great I looked this morning had sparked a new sense of self worth in me...almost narcissistic...but very much rejuvenating. I cocked my head at an angle and stared at my reflection in the mirror. It made me think of all the things that i am, of who i have become and it felt so empowering that it made me think, "You know, I'm alright. Not too shabby." haha.

So I'm through. I did not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I found an exit door. And behind that door was far better what awaits me at the end of the tunnel (or at least, i'd make sure it is). My gloomy days are over.

I'm throwing myself back out in the market. For real this time. hahaha....

p/s: Yes i did just watch Jerry Maguire, hence the inspiration of a "mission statement".