1 year

exactly 356 days have passed since my porpor left us. funny how fast time seem to have passed me by because that is only supposed to happen when we're having fun. today i felt a pang of guilt coursing through my spine when my dad showed me the orbituary because i thought it was in February.

1 year. and i still miss my porpor deeply. it's sad to think that we've had a lot of good family events throughout the year. Events which she would have loved to be apart of. Events which we had always thought about at the back of our heads but never got around to doing, because for us there was always a next time for everything. a free-er time, a better time. and it is shamefully unfortunate that her passing was what made us realise that we should be acting on our ideas as often as we can, whenever we have the chance to.

But i guess she was, for every second of it, very much amongst us. i know she must be looking down upon us with a smile because family gatherings always made her happy.

1 year. and ever so often i feel ashamed that i sometimes i forget to pray to her or to wish her peace. and how i never dreamt of her once. whenever my cousins or uncles and aunts relate their dreams of her, i can't help but wish that i would too. could it be that i do not think of her as often as i should?

1 year. and i still wish i had done more for her.

***

It's been a while
But your smile always
Brightens up my day
I guess you know
Because it show
You can see it
On my face
Feels like
You've put a spell on me
Feels like
You've captured me
And baby
This is how I feel
Don't need the sun to shine
To make me smile
Don't care if it's dark outside
'Cause I've got you
And though the rain may fall
No I won't care at all
'Cause baby
I know that I got you

Everyday there's a change
You bring out the best in me
My inner soul is what you know
That is how you speak to me
You seem to understand
You know just who I am
And baby, this is how I feel

Don't need the sun to shine
To make me smile
Don't care if it's dark outside
'Cause I've got you
And though the rain may fall
No I won't care at all
'Cause baby
I know that I got you

Don't need a rocket man
To help me touch the sky
I don't need to fly a plane
To get this high
Don't need to hitch a ride
When I could run a million miles
Yes I would, just to see you smile

Don't need the sun to shine
To make me smile
Don't care if it's dark outside
'Cause I've got you
And though the rain may fall
No I won't care at all
'Cause baby
I know that I got you

-Gabrielle:Don't need the sun to shine (to make me smile)-

In loving memory of dear PorPor

p.s: my kor left for Aus today. sigh...no more running kaki...