Friday, December 02, 2005

love songs

i remember when a friend of mine was feeling really low, she'd flip the radio channels whenever a love song came on air. she'd just avoid the whole emotional crap and brave herself to stay strong.

i, on the other hand, would just drown in those blues. i'd be in no mood for Ciara or Missy E. i'd just hit any slow moving song without a techno beat in my media player. and i did that just now. but when i ran out of songs to listen to, i realised how deep in a rut i've dragged myself into. i have a gazillion songs to suit the mood. but half of which were sent by you. and as much as i love those songs, as appropriate as those songs may seem to be for now, i didn't feel like listening to them. because i didn't want you to have the satisfaction of sending me a song which i liked. i didn't want you to have the satisfaction of knowing that you knew just what i'd like. because i was mad.

but i can't find a reason to be mad for. there's no one to blame, no mistake to bring up, and no evidence to prove.

so after listening to repeats of Lisa Loeb, i decided to hit some of the songs you sent me. and it just said all that i wanted to say. but it also said all you wanted to say to her, didn't it?