friends

i have been fortunate all this while in the sense that i never had problems with friends. as in, i have lots of them. i wasn't the ultimate prima donna of school or any of that sort, but i had a relatively large circle of friends who stood by me most of the time and juniors i know looked up to me. and lucky for me, everywhere i go, i've got friends. befriending others just comes naturally most of the time. it's a gift, perhaps. but i think that i've been cheating myself all this time.

i think that i was conceited, ignorant, and just too damn proud in the past. i think that it takes me ages to say i'm sorry, and aeons to admit i'm wrong. i have a male's ego, i admit. i think that for every new friend i make, there's bound to be someone i drift away from. and the more i think about it, the more i think that, really, i was anything but the Miss Congeniality i was proudly crowned during the senior prom.

i think that i have changed over the years since i left school. with new surroundings and new faces, i probably was able to start being me all over again. and i think that because i wasn't trying too hard to uphold a reputation or anything, more of my sincerity and true character was able to surface. and that made me see all my flaws in the past.

a night out with some of my school friends last night left me feeling a tad regretful. i regret not making some of the trips they went for (which was probably the start of how i grew apart from them). i regret distancing myself at some point because i thought that our views were just too different for us to hang out and have fun. i regret being careless, insensitive and unthoughtful.

i had fun last night. we laughed, we reminisced, we talked and updated ourselves with the latest gossips (some rather intriguing ones), we took photos, we made fun of people looking for friendship in the classifieds, we made fun of people looking for massage clients in the classifieds, and we read each other's horoscopes. sounds like a pretty good night out to me. :)
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