pre-ball jitters...

Metroball is in...exactly 17 hours time! so i decided to do some digging to see how daintily i can doll up to be with whatever i have. Didnt really want to spend a lot of money on this occassion as it's not that major an event to me. Probably would've been a bigger thing if it was my final year, but nope...it's right smack in the middle of my 3 year tertiary education life. :)

so, like i said, i did some digging to see what i have with me and this was what i found...

1. my frilliest bags...


2. my most delicate watches...


3. and my daintiest shoes...


hehe...nah i was just kidding about the last one...i do have heels...3 inches high to be exact. Yes i'll wince and my feet will hurt as hell, but just for one night, i think i'll play the tom boy act down a little. :)

so im gonna go with the black bag and the light blue watch...what say you? or maybe i should go dig my mum's wardrobe...hmm...she did say she'd lend me her watch...:)

whaaaaaat?? hey, at least ive got a dress~!

so, wish me luck for my big performance! it's kinda like a closing act, it being waaaaaaaay at the end of everything. i think i'll be too nervous to eat...*shrugs*

camp-5-ing and metroball rehearsing...

it's been almost 3 months since i last went to Camp 5. And today, as i rub my aching arms and numb fingers as well as my bruised ego, i can tell how out of practise i've allowed myself to be. i brought Keith along. i could see he was having fun. and boy was i punched in the face (metaphorically) when he conquered 3 routes which i couldn't. Seriously...he is good! He's got so much upper body strength. I was thrown aback! :)

it was a spontaneous decision as both my parents had to go out. Keith had no tuition, and i desperately wanted to go to Camp 5 before m 10 pass thing ended. So i drove my mum's old little Toyota Starlet to 1 utama. When she came home and found it gone she almost flipped! when she called me and found out i was in 1 utama she totally freaked out! ahaha...priceless...sides nothing happened! the fact that my brother can sleep soundly all the way back means im a smooth manual car driver. :)

met a Mexican couple. I asked the guy to snap a few pics of Keith while he was climbing. Turned out he was pretty artistic...:) but these foreigners always are...hehe


***
Metroball's rehearsal was today. Well actually, today was its second rehearsal. Yesterday's was at college and today was at Victorian Ballroom, Holiday Villa itself. The stage was one i have performed on before. If i'm not mistaken it was during a children's art competition and Mrs Khaw's gymnasts were all invited to strut their stuff...:)

they ran the whole program twice. for the first time, i was well warmed up and stretched. did a fluent job, tho my ribbon got stuck and i forgot a few steps. the second time, however, i was nicely cooled down and was chatting away with my friends. so it was no surprise when i ran up the stage to perform the second time, i heard something snapped!!!! i think i pulled a muscle during my split. I'm alright for now, as in i can walk, but i don't know if i can split on Friday night...

left myself something to remember gim days by...

p/s: u can see that's my knee right? just in case...:)

i'm mourning today...

for the death of the Spanish hopes...

*grins widely*

someone up there must really love me a lot...:)

coz i got my menses today...which means menses free Metroball and menses free Sydney!

p/s: the word menses has never been mentioned so many times with such joy by moi...:)

my RSG night out

beautiful friends + great food + drinks = a great night out

RSG

now, since the end of m finals and the beginning of my temporary liberation wasn't a really big hoo ha...there's nothing much i have to say about it. most of my friends could barely open their eyelids halfway because they never slept the night before. i was the only one who had a good night sleep, without a care in the world. :)

overall, i think i nailed Consumer Behaviour, did alright in Administrative Management and Tourism Management, and screwed Organisational Behaviour. But as always, I am a 100% satisfied, as given another chance to go back in time and redo it, it would've turned out this way still. :) so yea...over and done with! no looking back!

on another note, for lack of a better blog topic, i brought my cousin and her friend to a gimrama meet last weekend. My coach couldn't make it so she appointed me as the make-shift team manager! haha...don't laugh, i was darn proud okay! It was a selection meet to select the 8 best girls for every grade in Selangor to take part in a national circuit.

going into the hall of someplace-near-Seri-Kembangan was like walking down memory lane. The air was intense as on every square feet of the floor was a gymnast trying time n time again to nail a certain move. Over at one corner of the carpet, there were the girls of the much heard of Russian coaches, and while watching them was always an eye opening experience, my heart always go out to them. Etched on their faces, as the contort their fragile yet strong little bodies, were pain and fear. Over another corner of the carpet will be those from "home". Acting as if they own the place (technically they do), they hog every space they can land their pointed feet on - a quality refered to as "diva quality". i walked past them, hearing as i pass, the all too familiar repeats of the most commonly said word in every gymnastic competition, "sorry". Because we fight for the limited space we are given on the practising carpet, our legs, arms and equipment never fail to fly into somebody else's leg, arm or equipment. i felt like i was one of them again.

Clockwise: anxious gmnasts waiting for their turn, my cousin Charmaine and friend Fang Qing Yi, two very adorable very talented little gymnasts...

Rhythmic Gymnastics was a major part of my life for 8 years. I started when i was 10. It started out as recreational but it become everything after i learned the meaning of competitions. Though I wasn't among the elites, I had a taste what it felt like to be one when my group was chosen to represent Selangor in 2000. As we underwent centralised training for 2 weeks with the other gymnasts, we went home everyday either limping on one foot, or slumped over due to back aches or just dragging our feet entirely drained off every ounce of strength we had left - only to come back the next day and start all over again.

Unlike our own coach, whining to the Selangor coach was taboo. Whining only meant more drills which consequently meant more pain. We trained hard those two weeks. Coming from a totally different training environment we did take some time to get used to it. But after a day or two, we bit back tears of anguish and just gave it our best shots. The reward? Ultimate poise and grace, intense precision in our every move, lean and toned bodies and limbs and everything else in a recipe to win.

All the hours of pain we went through brought us the gold medal at the MSSM 2000 in Johor. We were ecstatic and thrilled! We jumped and shouted and laughed as we called our own coach on the phone! It was the proudest moment of my life. Much to our dismay, not only was whining a taboo, so was celebrating. And as we lined up with our feet in 3rd position in front of the Selangor coach, still wearing our gold medals around our necks, we received a cold lecture from her. I remembered that night so well because we were sent to our dorms, where all 6 of us cried our hearts out, simultaneously. It seems kinda funny now when i think of it, since we were trained so hard to be synchronised.

The experience that i gained was one i would never exchange for the world. It not only taught me how hard one has to train to be a champion, it got me 5 very true and close friends. We went through so much together that we still remain close even now.

I went for MSSM again in 2003, but with a different group. There were only 3 of us from the former group. Instead of very painful training regimes, we had more relaxed ones. Instead of a shabby boarding school, we stayed in a fanc hotel with a swimming pool. But given any choice, i'd choose the former MSSM experience over this one anytime. Plus we only managed a silver this time.

Notice how many times the word "pain" was used in this post. Because that, to me, was what RSG (Rhythmic Sportive Gymnastics) was a lot about. My lower back and right knee are injured because of it. But it is the same pain that i miss ever so much now. As i made my cousin and her friend practise their skills over and over again, i found myself wishing, deep in the pits of my heart, that i was in my best leotard and half shoes, my hair tight up neatly in a bun, my face dolled up generously with make-up and my veins pumping with adrenaline again. And, of course, with my 5 favourite RSGs around me.

Tomorrow shall be the next RSG reunion (now Retired Senior Gymnasts). I'm looking very much forward to it. It's a pity Yuh Huey won't be joining us this time. She's too busy living her fantasy-life-came-true...:)

Final exam subjects to cover:

1. Consumer Behaviour take home test: 3-6 June



2. Administrative Management: 14 June



3. Organisational Behaviour: 16 June



4. Tourism Management: 23rd June

*edit* 14th June, 4.29 pm

*edit* 17th June, 2.17 am

*edit* 23rd June, 1.36pm

textbook savvy - declassified

so i have almost come to the end of my semester. By the stroke of 11.40 am on Friday I would've been liberated and can go on chreographing my dance, planning my sydney trip and enjoying my sydney trip.

but before i end, allow me to let you in on something. i spent not a single cent on text books this sem! no kidding! i got 3 text books from my senior, on loan, to be returned at the end of the semester. for one more subject, i, or rather the sly weasel of an alter ego, had fooled the library into lending me the library text book for 4 whole months!

dates due to return bookssee, Metropolitan College Library has a system. Students can borrow a book for 1 week. At the end of 1 week, students may renew the borrowing period as many as 3 times. However, being the kind and ever ready to promote reading librarians they are, they usually renew it for you as often as you like. There is a reservation list however. Students who want to borrow a book that has been checked out, can reserve the book so that when it is returned, they can be given priority. Once a book is reserved, it cannot be renewed. Students holding the book, is not allowed to reserve it either.

So how did i manage to hold the book for 13 weeks without having to return it? i, too, am surprised at how scheming my mind can be. i played my cards right. i got the book at the begining of the semester, when no one bothered to borrow it. so i kept renewing until a couple of weeks before mid term. i returned it. here, i wrote my name in the reservation list. so 1 week prior to mid terms, last minute procrastinators will desperately search for text books, which they failed to grab earlier. technically, i should return it to people who reserved it. Guess who did? :)
After mid terms, when all the hoo-ha had died down, nobody wanted the book anymore. This is where i continue my renewing. 3 weeks prior to finals, I did the same thing. Return, reserve and borrow.

I have to admit though, that should my plan fail, and someone got to the reservation list before me, i was ready to hold the book hostage till finals. The penalty for late books is RM3 a day. That would make it RM21 for a week, which is a price I'm willing to pay. A brand new text book outside would cost RM40 at least. A photocopied version would cost RM20 odd. So what's RM21 for an original coloured text book? :)

But luck was on my side, and my plan ran flawlessly. :)

I'm sly, i admit, but I'd much prefer the term streetwise. Besides, would you rather I "pirated" the book?

tagged again

hmm...maybe screaming out aloud that i love tags wasn't such a good idea...haha...but who am i kidding. tags are fun no matter what...:)

this time around i'm tagged by -ryn-. This tag is quite different though. A bit hard to oblige some more. haha...so here it goes, the contents of my heart for your reading pleasure...

8 things about your perfect lover

1. Averagely good looking

By this i mean, taller than i (even when i'm in heels), straight hair (because God forbid my kids should have curly hair next time and go through what I go through for vanity), averagely sharp nose, a rather tanned complexion (i'm sorry i just can't date pak cham kais coz they don't look manly enough), and a toned, lean body with abs, biceps and hemstrings which practically scream "Touch me!". muahahahahahah.......

yes...to all of you who scoffed at me and called me shallow when u read this, i say "Right back at ya!". It is only human nature to fall for something pleasing to the eye. Of course, time can change everything, and in the long run it is the personality that's left to make one happy, but who's talking about in the long run? The title says "perfect lover" does it not?

2. Leads an active lifestyle

Now i'm not saying he has to be Iker Casillas (but I wouldn't stop him if he could), or Lee Chong Wei or Roger Federer. He just cannot be a couch potato. He has to do some form of exercise regularly enough. No, cyber games are not a form of exercise. Neither is golf in my opinion. If he could join me in races and hikes, even better. But at the very least, he has to like the outdoors. He has to be alright with getting dirty and cuts and muddied up. If I were to date a guy who starts screaming when he sees a bug on the floor, i'd buy him a bottle of Ridsect, and show him the door. I just can't take it. I'm sorry guys, but I still think macho-ness is a very important trait. Genuine macho-ness, of course. Not the cover-cover wan...

oh and he cannot smoke. I put this under 'active lifestle' coz most smokers, not all, do not exercise much. sides, smoking is unhealthy. and i don't do unhealthy. period.

3. Sensitivity

By this I don't mean he cries at the movies (because I don't), or he PMSes, or he starts treating me like I'm incapable of doing anything! By sensitive man, i mean he gets me. He knows what I'd like to eat during which time of the day (coz i have a different taste every time). He knows if I would like to have a day out with the girls, or with him. He can tell when I'm mad, or sad, or emo. He can understand when i say i need to diet, he would HELP me and not say "For the millionth time you're NOT fat, now just EAT!". And i don't want all those open-doors-pull-out-chairs kinda crap. Seriously, I am one girl on whom chivalry does not work. He wants to be a gentleman, he can bring me adventure racing and wait for me at the finish line. Really, I wouldn't mind. I would in fact bust my ass to get myself there before him. THAT is what MY man would do. :)

4. Sense of humour

who doesn't love a funny guy? Everyone does. I don't care if he's funny all the time and never serious. Chandler Bing's funny all the time and i love him! ahahha....but he has to be good funny and not lame funny. I know what my friends say behind the backs of lame boyfriends/girlfriends. I don't want them saying stuff like that about my boy, nu-uh.

5. Great with kids

If there's one thing i detest most in guys is if they hate kids. How can you hate kids? Kids are the best determinants of a person's patience, of a person's responsibility. A guy who is great with kids is a guy who is in touch with his inner child. And that is one thing you should always always alwas be in touch with! You have to be great kids!

6. Non-thalassaemic

yes, thanks to my recent discovery, i shall now always have this criterion in my list. Thalassaemic only, means out! no, i'm not enjoying this either...*shrugs*

7. Smart and ambitious

Yea. I do appreciate brains. Smart people impress me. They fascinate me. They don't need to be geniuses. They just have to be hardworking and not flunking out of school/college/uni. They should love what they're doing, and would not try to flunk out. They must also have ambitions. They must have a future in mind. DVD peddling is not a career. Neither is being a professional sportsman, i'm afraid. Unless, once again, he's Iker Casillas. :)

8. Loves his family and friends

I think this is by far the most important trait. He has to love his family and friends. I really wouldn't date someone if he has issues with his family. Because however he treats his family, he would treat mine. If he's a filial son, he would be a filial son-in-law too. If he is a true friend, he'd be a true friend to my friends too. I can't imagine going out with someone who's a loner, who has no friends, who hates his life and the few people in it. He has to be warm and friendly and kind to everyone. If possible, he should come from a close-knit family. I realise that people who do, are very loving and kind.

yup...now that i've said it all, i think it is pretty obvious why i am currently not seeing anyone. i'm picky. my criteria is hard to meet. I suppose i could give and take a few. But this is a case by case scenario. :)

p.s. My rashes aren't doing too good. have yet to visit the doctor because my favourite doc is out of town.

*edit* 1.19 am - omg! I know what's wrong now! I googled the name of my medicine and found that I've got hives! it's a side effect of my antithyroid drug! now wondering if i should stop my dosage immediately. I'm not supposed to. And Dr Loo only comes back on the 25th!

warning: gory pictures ahead, not for the faint hearted...

well, maybe the term gory might have been exaggerated a little. In actual fact, i've just gotten a bout of rashes. For some reason, my entire body is breaking out in spots of red itches. At first i thought it was due to the new shower cream that i bought. I got myself the Palmolive Aromatherapy shower cream. I was drawn to its scent. And ive used it before.




But on the day i started using it, i was scratching all over that night. I woke up with patches of red all over my body. Then due to the humidity, and my sweat and whatnots, i was in a scratchind frenzy. It came to a point where i wished i had more limbs to scratch at hard-to-reach places. gahh...typing in intervals now, as i scratch my arms, legs, everywhere!

i really don't know what's the cause, because when i switched my shower cream to a brand i used before, i was still itching. still am.

bugged me out of my skin, coz i had 2 days of coaching to do, saturday and sunday. and there i was teaching my little girls grace and poise while contorting my body around and over only to SCRATCH!

i have to see the doc tomorrow. Get myself some anti-anhistamine or calamine lotion or something....

just a thought

i could saunter up to your gate
i could say that it's been a while
i could tell you how my life has been
while i take in your smile

i could invite you out for a drink
i could ask you to join me for a run
i could ask you about your life now
and whether or not you're having fun

i could bring up topics on us
i could let you know what i've been thinking
i could ask you how you think of me now
whether or not there's someone you're seeing

i could ask you to forgive me
i could ask for another chance
i could say that i was foolish then
but you'd probably not give me a second glance

or

i could keep all this to myself
i could wish for this to go away
i could tell myself 3rd chances dont happen
and i could let you live your life your way

for i could not break your heart again
i could not say another no to you
i could not bear the pain i bring
when i say i'm sorry, you've been fooled

i could be wrong about these feelings
i could use more time to sort
for what if they're just there tonight
and tomorrow, it'll be just a thought...

footie talk

right...i'm about to give my inaugural football review. :)

so the World Cup fever had started in the House of Siahs. With the 3 main watchers of the game, and 3 different teams supported, I think it can get pretty feverish here...:)

My brother Keith is the number 1 football fan. He is rooting for England. And his favourite player is Rooney.

My dad is on Argentina's side. I'm not sure who his fav player is. However, he finds it hard staying awake past half time. :)

And i am all out for Spain. Reason? They've got a hot goalkeeper. Iker Casillas is my favourite player. :)

Now i know I'm in the midst of my finals, but World Cup only happens once in 4 years man! Then again, my finals for this semester comes only once (and i'd like to keep it that way).

I've only watched 3 matches so far. well, 2 and a half to be exact. I watched the second half of England's first match against Paraguay. It was undeniable boring. Seriously, it was like they were playing Monkey with the ball. The only thing was they used their feet not their hands. and they couldn't even score a single goal! such a let down.

Then it was Spain against Ukraine. This was quite a good match. Spain won 4-0. I think the team players were really good! However, this meant that i saw very little of my favourite goalie. well, they're coming up again monday night (or rather tuesday morning). I'll see if i am that crazy to watch that...*swoons over Casillas*

And finally, i watched England vs Trinidad & Tobago last night. Once again, I was on the verge of dozing off. At half time, i wanted to go upstairs and call it a night. But since it seemed like they were about to put Rooney in, i figured i'd stay for another 45 minutes. I'm no footie player but don't you think Crouch's performance was horrendous? God! i kept saying take the giraffe out of there! He tried a billion times to score, which i believe would've been burried by Rooney should he be in that position. owell, least he scored in the end. on the 83rd minute. And im starting to like Lampard. He's pretty cute too ain't he? hahah....well, England won 2-0. yay...

so yea...that was my footie bit. back to my books now. :)

viva la espanyol!

"woh yi ding bu ben!"

yes, i, the girl-who-never-cries-at-movies-except-for-one-time-which-will-be-a-story-for-another-day, have just thrown away wads of tissue and am still sniffling from what i think is the most emotional movie i have ever watched.


Actually, i'm already backdated. I Not Stupid Too was released in February if i'm not mistaken. For those of you who are blurer sotongs than i, this movie is a Singaporean production, showcasing the deteriorating parent-children relationships of Singapore. It's actually a sequel to I Not Stupid which i watched quite some time back. Just as touching although is in no way related to one another.

I couldn't help but bawl over the tragedy that followed one bad move after another. In a way, I found myself relating to the show. Don't get me wrong, my parents are the best and i'm very much loved by them and my entire family. But i guess sometimes, and i'm hoping i'm not the only one, I find it hard to explain myself to my parents. And with my mother's swift tongue, at times i feel like I've already lost the battle before it even started. I know for a fact that my parents had never ever been biased with us, but there were times when i felt like i wasn't getting results as good as my big brother, or training running as much as my younger brother trains swimming, or somewhere along those lines. On the other hand, i'm the one who likes to go out and keep late nights, the one who wants everything, the one who doesn't read the papers, the stubborn one, the rebellious one, the spendrift one, the not-so-punctual one, the last minute one. I often forget to call home when i don't want to eat dinner, and I have bad sense of direction and time judgement.

People think I dont have the middle child syndrome because i'm an only daughter? But they are so wrong. And i know all these seem like i'm craving for attention, but i guess we all feel that sometimes, don't we?

I guess what i'm trying to say is, I'm different in my family. I like spontaneity, I like to take dives, I like uncertainty and I most definitely like variety. I'd like to try anything i can as much as I can. But I also like running, and improving on it, which i can see is what my brother likes too. And I also like hip hop and dancing which i can also see what my younger brother likes too. And I love nature and outdoors and simplicity of life, which i most definitely share with my father. And finally, I love to plan, to organize and to ensure my charges have a good time under my schedule. This is what I got from my mother.

So, I'm not an entirely rotten apple. I have good traits which were derived from their genes. I just want them to know that I may procrastinate but i'll get it done no matter what. I'll whine and i'll complain, but i'll pull through. Because they did not raise a quitter.

well, at least not when important issues are at hand. *grin*

studying frenzy

And so it begins.
Crack your heads, buy your pens, dig out those past year questions, highlight those notes, and cover those zits! ok...maybe the last statement was more for the girls.

Finally, i'm taking a step into the finals week. In exactly 3 more days, i'd be sitting for my first paper. In exactly 5 and a half more days, i'd be having a temporary relief as i wait for the next paper. and in exactly 11 days and 10 hours, i'd be staring intently at the clock on the wall of Lecture Theatre 1, praying that minutes will turn into seconds and seconds into miliseconds. and then, i'm through with Sem 3!

back to present time, i have actually just started my studying. as in the actual reading and absorbing of information. for those of you who witnessed me saying "Gotta study! see ya!", in actual fact, i meant "Gotta go print those slides and journals that i've been meaning to print for months". Yup, i've been printing and printing and printing an entire semester's worth of lecture slides and journal articles for Organisational Behaviour and Administrative Management. So the real studying just started.

I've actually got quite a lot to cover and by the rate i'm going, i'm probably never going to finish everything in time. But i never learn. Time and time again, i'll leave everything to the last minute. And time and time again, i'd be cramming information into my head in the wee hours of the morning before the exam. But it actually works for me this way.

I'm not exactly gonna say that i'll be off blogging for a while due to exams...coz i know that's not gonna happen. I'll try to abstein but that really is my own issue. So don't fret, i wont be gone long. maybe not at all. :)

Did i ever mention procrastination is a skill? :)

from diamonds to gold

i stared up the sky that night
filled with hope and inspiration it boasted
a vast blanket of stars beyond sight
like diamonds on black leather, it frosted
the morning brought zest in its rays
and energy, boundless beyond imagination
and the cool air sent a tingling as it said
make every step with determination
***
the harsh yellow dirt road scowled at my plight
as i had been treading on it far too long
every trudge dropped made a dent in my pride
and the mountains sang a bitter song
a whirlwind ransacked every corner of my head
a billion knots formed at my stomach pits
sleep, i heard the cry from my bed
up my throat it crept those little nasty bits
***
i stared up once again that gloomy morn
at the diamonds in the sky gleaming so brightly
i must have looked all too forlorn
for in their million shines i saw worry
the angry cold, gnawed at my strength
draining whatever that's left in me
1,2,3 steps was all i saw at length
as i crumbled down and shrunk in my misery
***
the golden light poured heat onto the cold rocks
with it, flowed warmth and certainty
the wall of my ego came up block by block
the will to go on, was tugged at gently
strength came to me in the form of a friend
overwhelming the rocky planes so bleak
step by step, atop the golden ascend
step by step, we stumbled upon the peak

a while ago Uncle Choi mentioned about writing a poem out of my Mt KK experience. figured i'd give it a shot. the idea of diamonds and gold came to me from reading "Walk Two Moons". well, enjoy...:)

what's the name? what's the name???

you know how irritating it gets when you hear a song on the radio which u really like but can never get the name of it? because of all these "50 minutes of non-stop music" and "ad-free 60s". i like the music flow, but i really detest not being able to know the name of a new song.

gets even worse when u finally find out the name when u're out driving, only to come back to either forget it, or is unsure how to spell it, or just didn't quite grasp it altogether. DJs tend to mumble these days. *frowns*

then u try asking your friends but u either sing it really badly till the entire tune is distorted and unrecognisable. or u try typing the lyrics out to your friends on MSN but only know the first 2 lines and then try to hum your way through with MSN's voice clips. or you just forget how it sounds like altogether.

but you're sure of one thing. it's a great song! and the moment the first beat is played on the radio you'll recognize it in an instant.

so pls help me....i need to find this song. it's first verse starts with "I...don't wanna get through this life, without you...by my side..." and it's chorus starts with "Well, it's you...and me...." and that's all i can tell.

any idea??

busting my butt

you know you're busting your butt and stressing yourself up too much when office appliances start to break.



anyway, i woke up this morning at about 10 to finish up my reference list. decided to add in a couple more journals in text as well as on the list. so i've got enough sources now. :)

for the better

whoa...5.23 am.

yup, i am finally done with the CB102 Take Home Exam. I have inadequate sources but what the hell. I tried. I can't say i agree with the whole assignment slash final exam concept. It stresses me twice as much and works me twice as hard. Yet the results are under par. I seriously think i can do better with a proper final exam.

Anyway, the completion of this assignment/exam marks the end of all written assignments for the semester. Just pure studying-required exam papers next. 3 to be exact. Once again i'm caught aback by how quickly time flew. Upon completion of this semester, i'm half a year closer to pursuing my own dream.

Over the course of the past 6 months, I've gone through a lot more than any other 6 months of my life.

I suffered a terrible loss when my beloved grandmother passed on. I went so many nights crying myself to sleep, unable to really accept the fact.

I made a lot of new friends, the ones in Camp 5 as well as the ones who went to Mt Kinabalu. And all of them, in one way or another, made a big impact in my life.

I went on a trip with my college friends. That's an improvement for the anti-social loner of Metropolitan College. Made college life a tad more interesting after that. I remember something Ms Choong, my econs lecturer in sem 1, said to me : tertiary education is nothing without friends to support you along the way. She can't be any more true. :)

I crawled and hobbled through one of the worst heartaches i've ever been through. I moved on and that's all that matters.

I had(still having actually) the worse running stage of my life. Only to discover a medical flaw in my body - something i never thought i would find out. Now waiting for the day i am fully recovered.

I bridged a hidden gap that i had with my brother, making me feel so close to him now, eventhough he's so far away.

I had earned several paycheques in my name before settling on a steady income while having a great time on the job.

I paid for two (actually still paying for one) of my major expenses which includes flying across borders.

I cooked my family lunch! Ok just my dad, my brother and my maid. but heck, i cooked!

I read 2 books. From cover to cover.

I drove to A Famosa and competed in the sprint all by myself! and gave my dad a shock...make that several shocks.

I got to know my other grandmother better when she stayed here for a couple of weeks. Got a lot closer to her and my aunt who comes daily to visit.

I went to a house party with my dad and my little brother. A wine drinking party. How weird is that? :)

I choreographed and am going to perform a hip hop number SOLO.

And finally....

hehe...no i actually don't have a 'grand finale' to end the list. It was tabulated in random order. But you can see how i've lived the past 6 months. I actually think I've changed.

For the better....:)

on the road to recovery

I have been fairly satisfied with my running performance these past few days. I think the pills i'm on are sending me on the road to recovery, slowly but surely. I no longer pant when i run up hills, i no longer feel like giving up halfway, i'm still afraid to time myself but i can feel that i've picked up a faster pace. I'm doing a mileage of approximately 25 km a week, which is far more than i have ever done, even back then. I even managed to slip in a Bt Gasing climb on Saturday, coz my gim classes are taking 2 weeks off.

But the pills are not the only thing i owe it to. There's this other thing. Among all the words of advice i've ever gotten from runners all over the place, the best one is that given by Isaiah Kee. He's been a very encouraging and supportive friend of mine, i believe that he understands my predicament. He told me, just a couple of days before the 15 km run:

"Let your legs run by themselves"

These 6 words strung together isn't much to brag about, and it's pretty much understood when people tell you to "enjoy the run", you just let loose. But it doesn't work for me. I love running but fail to enjoy it in someway or another. I still bombard myself with expectations and hope and pressure. So by letting my legs run by themselves, i take my mind off the steps im taking. i take my mind off the distance im covering with every second that ticks by. i just...run.

Well, i hope this holds up. If i take my pills daily, and play my cards right, by next year's 15 km run i should be able to make a comeback. The doc says its a 12-18 month course. I'm hoping it takes me 12 months.

so i'm still burning with competitive drive...sue me. i've been racing since i was 13. i don't just quit.

I go about my business, I'm doing fine

Besides, what would I say if I had you on the line

Same old story, not much to say

Hearts are broken everyday

- Jewel

the crazy take-home exam

so you see, the Curtin University Business Faculty's Consumer Behaviour Unit Controller thought it would be funny to tease us students. You know, like...

"The students have been having it easy, what with bonus assignments and reference free group projects. Let's make them cite 10 journal articles minimum for this take home test and see them squirm! Oh! and let's post the question up at midnight on 3rd of June and make the deadline on the 6th of June! Muahahaha" *rubs hands in glee*

Ten Friggin' Journal Articles? in 4 friggin' days?

Seriously, can they be any meaner? what's the use of having a required quantity of citations anyway? I mean, why can't they just rely on the content of our essays and from there, see for themselves how well we've been researching and how wisely we can apply them? I mean if i have a couple of journals which totally gives me everything i need to answer the question (coz seriously, the questions are quite straight forward) then why not let me? Instead, they prefer i find 10 friggin' journals so i can cite the same idea over and over again, where they can later penalise me for repetitive answers.

But you know what did the great Santiago say when he wanted to reach the pyramids? Do you know what he did? He said "maktub!" and he reached his treasure. Because when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true.

So, Ian Phau, Unit Controller of Consumer Behaviour 102 of Curtin Business School, watch out for my essay! ID number 1324***9, coz it's gonna blow your wig mind off...

maktub!

tuna croissants!

since my mum is away at Perth visiting my brother, i took the liberty of taking over some of her chores - making sure Keith does his revision, asking dad to buy groceries, and taking care of lunch (or this particular one anyway).

and since Cold Storage had a grand opening yesterday at Subang Parade, loads of stuff were on sale! I caught sight of butter croissants going for 10 sen each! Ah...tuna croissants it is! But i was caught aback by the tremendous crowd at Cold Storage! so, i only managed to grab 4 croissants which i know for a fact wasn't enough to feed the hungry us (or the hungry me at least).

Anyway, i got everything we needed, queued for like an hour odd, and finally went home to start preparing. first up, ingredients. Now my special tuna croissant was my choice because it's so easy and simple to make. To make one, you need these things:

butter croissant, tuna & mayo, sausage, tomatoes and lettuce

one you got that covered, you need an oven. It could be your regular microwave oven, whereby you can set it to "grill" (if not it'll turn soft with the regular reheating function) but this is more of a hassle as compared to having a toaster oven. With a toaster oven, you toast the croissants making them crispy on the outside and warm on the indside. :)

Next, boil the sausages, and make sure you make slits in them. This ensures the insides of the sausages to be cooked. While they boil, make slits on top of the butter croissants and slap on some butter. When you're done, grill/toast the croissants for about 2 minutes. Remove sausages from pot.

Here's the best part, stuff anything you want into the croissants. For me, i first tuck a piece of lettuce into it. Then i put the sausage on top, and fit half diced tomatoes on either sides of the sausage. Then i pour tuna on top of it - voila!


My brother, Keith is a pure carnivore. So his is what i call an anti-veg cheese tuna croissant. then again, i'm just trying (and failing) to be creative. His doesn't look too bad either!


and that, my dear readers, is how you make Galnexdor's Special Tuna Croissants. It's fun, flexible, and oh-so-delicious!

p/s: croissants are pronounced as kwoh-song, just f.y.i. :)

bedtime stories

ever since Lifemou lent me The Alchemist, i've been addicted to reading before i sleep.

My mum used to read me bedtime stories when i was a child. Then i grew up and learned how to read, and so i immersed myself in Enid Blyton books. But after some time i grew tired of reading. I guess "outdoor activities" got the better of me. I made friends with my neighbours and its not surprising that kejar-kejar or batu seremban or whatever games we used to play behind my house became much more interesting than reading. I figured i needn't a book to find solitude. My solitary place was this tree outside my house which i would often climb up to think (or to escape spanking).

So, i became a slow reader eventually. And that made me hate reading even more. It took me almost 2 weeks to finish The Alchemist.

But anyway, since i read about 10 pages every night, it got me hooked. So after i was done with it, i went and borrowed a book from my college library. It's called Walk Two Moons. It's actually labelled "Teen Readers" in MPH. But who cares...i'm twenteen what! :)

It's a great book! I actually looked forward to resuming my reading every night. It's like a story within a story within a story. No kidding! I enjoyed it so much that i now start to think like the little girl in the book. She's a nature lover and she's one with trees, bunnies, dogs, cows and horses. Just now I almost dived in between my maid, her broom and this cute little beetle on the floor. I told her not to kill it. Well, i've always had an afinity for beetles anyway. They've got really smooth shells.

So yea, i'm done with the book now. Feeling a bit touchy cause it wasn't a very happy ending.

I recommend it to all once upon a time Enid Blyton fans. Sharon Creech's Walk Two Moons is a must-read!