* third wheel *

Ok let me just briefly state what i did in the past couple of days then I'll lunge into my emotions. Plenty of 'em pent up in me right now.

Sunday was Hari Raya. Went for a couple of open houses. The first was my old old neighbour. The one that lived in the now empty, rotting house next to me. They're a very nice couple man. I miss their nasi briyani like mad! Had a tummyfull of that yesterday...=) Then headed to Roshida's house. This was quite happening also. Though I was far too full to chow down anything else. Enjoy the pics...=)

Went to watch Taxi with Ju, Weng Lum, Pin Xin, Zhun Neay, Kim Hooi. I like that show. For one thing it's soaked with Girl power! For another, it's hilarious! The outing was fun. But spoiled a tad by my bad tummy. All those raya food must've turned the insides of my tummy upside down. Had to go to the loo 3 times altogether. Uneasy visits, mind you. I still had a little of the aftermath this morning. Still feeling a bit queasy until now.

Today went out shopping with Li Hua one whole day! I've never gone shopping round the clock for just shoes. Heels some more! U know...i think i'm starting to femininise. I suddenly have acquired a taste for shoes and accesories. And guess what? i bought compact powder today. Goodness...feeling my ego kicking in right now. Maybe it's just the prom fever? I sure hope so. Don't wanna turn into the kind of girls i love to hate. hehe jus kiddin. I don't hate them. I'm just slightly biased against the dumb blonde kinda ppl. Anyway, I had fun. I bought heels which are stiletto-ish. Bought a necklace to suit Anne's dress. Pretty proud of myself. =)

Ok now to open up. When i was at Rosie's I had this sinking feeling. There was Regina and her bf, Tracy and her bf, Rosie and Qx, and Lyn and Jin Aun. And they launched into this whole conversation about what boyfriends do when girlfriends are not around that sorta thing. It's saddening. It is. I know that some of you might say "I'm single too" and "Your time will come". I know it will. I just...sigh...wanna know why it can't be any sooner. It's a sign. It proves to show that somehow there's something I lack. I know that sometimes, for some people they just happen to be at the right place at the right time. That's fate. But for others, there's no denying that they've got the attributes. They've got what it takes. It's human nature to fall for someone. It's human nature to get attracted to a certain characteristic.

Friday gim class. Mrs Khaw asked me where was my inspiration (that's how she terms her gymnasts' boyfriends...positive thinking hehe). It's a reflex to put on a smile and answer with a joke. It's a reflex to hide disappointment when asked a question like this. And it's a reflex to stay happy for as long as you can hold that smile. It hurts. To be single is one thing. To be single and unwated is another. I sound sad. I sound pathetic. But I sound true. I don't know which is worse. Not being able to find the one, or not being found as the one? It doesn't matter coz currently I'm both.

After prom plans. Everyone's got somewhere to go. I don't. Clubbing sounds cool and all, but apart form the fact that the probability of getting my mother's permission is as good as nil, i don't really feel like going. I don't know why. Maybe I wanna go with my own friends. I've always told myself I wanna go clubbing with the right people. So i shall. Not that my classmates are devils and all...but I wanna experience it with my friends. Yes, I have not been clubbing eventhough I'm 18 and in college. Sue me. Honestly, I actually thought of staying over at Lyn's place. But she's got plans with her classmates as well. She might invite me if I asked but I don't know. Asking her "could i join in?" doesn't come out so easily these days.

So that's about it. My thought of the night. Sad one. You'd think with all the post exam celebations and freedom in the world, I might actually be typing in exclamation marks and plenty of haha's. Guess not.