Friday, September 11, 2009

there goes my holiday

2 weeks of semester break whizzed by really really REALLY quickly. And I must say having Weng Lum and Anne over made it a lot more exciting than I had planned. I actually have been very lucky to have so many visitors. I think my flatmates are jealous of me. Haha...well, who's next? =)

After they left, everything was at a standstill. It was as if you could hear the sound of crickets in the air. And so, with a sudden burst of quiet time, I had a lot of time to think about some of the things that have been clouding my mind lately. I thought of the things that initiated the issue at hand. I tried to trace back to the time it all started and who committed the first flaw. I tried tying in memories of a year ago with memories of 3 months ago. I tried to comprehend my actions and yours from as objective a point of view as I could possibly manage. I tried to be professional. I tried to leave my emotions aside and just see things from a 3rd party's perspective.

I failed. In so many degrees.

I honestly think I'm incapable of making sound judgements when it comes to you. Every decision had a flipside to it. There was none that was absolute. Nothing is ever clear cut when it comes to thoughts about you.

I hope things get better. I honestly do.

I hope we can start anew.