just because it is too early to go to bed

i'm blogging because it is only 10.48 pm. i feel that any time before 11 pm seems too early to go to bed. although, admittedly, I have crept under the covers at about 10 plus before in the past. and i did so with no guilt whatsoever. just switched the lights off, went under the duvet, and went to sleep. almost instantly. such is my night time nowadays. because the friends at home come online far too late for me, and the friends here do not go online. because facebook can only entertain you so much in a day. because my internet isn't the greatest anyway. because i can't download songs, thus i'm sick of my song list.

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i'm feeling fat. i admit that i sometimes do feel fat. and it is due to excessive binging. today i finished up the bag of corn chips, i finished up my bag of chocolate peanuts. and i finished up my pasta which was supposed to be for 2 meals. when i can no longer see the lines of my abs, i feel fat. it could potentially be due to water retention because it is that time of the month again. but either way, i'm feeling fat. and the scary thing is i'm not really in the mood to go running. heh.

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i'm aiming to do a chin up by the end of the year. the target it to be able to do 2 successive chin ups (because one could be a fluke). my upper body strength is shocking. right now i wake up, hop onto the floor and do 12 push ups every morning. i'm gonna hit 15 next week, 17 the week after, then 20...and so on and so forth. u reckon that alone will help me do a chin up? or do i need a whole lot of pecs strength training as well?

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i'm starting to miss u. quite terribly.

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woohoo. it's 11. goodnight, world.