Making babies.

Couple of weeks before easter break, the university decided that we should all learn how to make babies. And so, like the dedicated student that I am, I agreed. I must say the process of making babies seemed daunting at first. I mean, the university expected us to make them in 3 hours! I don't know about you, but to me, that just seemed far too painful and exhausting.

Anyway, we were given the proper protection gears and everything and that was it. No proper guidance, nothing! Well, considering we were all freshman in uni, I had expected a little more show and tell, but I guess in some parts of the world, 17 year olds are already experts in the matter at hand. *shrugs*

So i set to work. Carefully applying the proper positions as not to ruin the moment. It started off a little soft, but when we've warmed up to each other, things got a lot more fun. Soon we were pressing and rolling and pushing and pulling. I can tell how it can be more pleasurable whilst in a group. You get to see what other people are up to so you can always keep yourself in check.

I must say I was really into it. And in less slightly less than 2 hours, I was well satisfied with the outcome. I guess I have a gift. =)

So today after about a month of labour, my baby is finally ready. And the sight of it was nothing short of gorgeous.

Dear all, meet baby Bob, named after the brave little deer Dennis and I met at the deer park.

Isn't he just adorable? =)

I'm sure Dennis will grow to love him too, won't you hon?

woe is me...or not...or maybe...

In Auckland, my emotions are tumultuous. My feelings fluctuate to some very high levels and some really low ones in a single day. I guess it's all part and parcel of being away.

I could wake up to the sound of silence, feeling fresh in the crisp cold morning air (I am the awesomest early riser here, i don't know why), and soaking in that very waft of energetic air that came with the sense of independence.

I'd enjoy my long walks and even longer bus rides, and I'd feel quite happy in the classroom. Yes, even in amidst the bombastic complicated lectures of Biosci 107, I find myself tuning in out of interest. My classes are interesting, I must say.

And then I'd spot a couple or two, cuddling up to each other in the cold air, or just walking hand in hand, and my heart plunges to depths i never knew it could. The pain that comes with such yearning is quite a killer, that one. It is almost cruel, I sometimes feel, to be away from each other for so long.

Then I'd tune the outside world out with a deep, long breath, and drown myself to the tunes of my Pala-chan. Ahh...all is well again. I'd be tapping my feet in no time and my spirits would be lifted ever so gently.

Then the stomach grumbles in the rudest, most obnoxious fashion, and like a child of 5, the immediate reaction was to crave for a taste of mom's cooking. Mushroom soup, fried prawns, potato and meat in thick brown crazy, the tastebuds can go wild. And then I'd wish I could have Mum or Dad to be at home, where I can tell everything there is to tell about work or school. I would crave not only for the food, but for the simple answers that I am so familiar with, to my rhetoric statements and nonsensical ramblings.

Sitting in the cold stillness of my room, shifting uncomrfotably in my chair, enduring the back aches, I'd think of the huge office chair in my room, which swivels and reclines. My back has grown extremely weak for reasons I cannot seem to put a finger on, except to say that chairs here in Auckland, suck. Seats in the bus, on the train, in the lecture theatre, are all out there to hurt me.

I'd find familiar names online and with a few clicks, i'd be chatting happily with my brothers, my dad, Dennis or some friends from home and suddenly the situation doesn't seem that bad. Because the void for that day was closing up, slowly but surely. I'd start thinking to myself, yes I can do this. I love my course, I love this country, and friends and family aren't so far away.

It's not only till I am forced to say goodbye, do I wish I can stay in that chatroom forever. Wishing it could never end. Wishing that at the end of that chat, I can be well on my way down the stairs, to hop into my car and drive to Suku or SS15 for Milo Kosong Panas and Roti Kosong with whoever it was I was talking to. Gawd I really really miss mamak.

And when I study for my tests and obtain results which surprise me, I am reminded that I am good at this. I am made to learn this. When I hang out with my friends, and explain to them about the science of a sports shoe, and metabolism, or even belt out a line or two of spanish...when they nod and tell me that I seem to know my stuff, thats when I get a sense of belonging. A sense of "Hey, I didn't make the wrong decision after all. I would not regret this in the end". It's a beautiful feeling, this one. It cancels off almost every negative thought that goes through my head.

And that is just one day. And I seem to have another 200 odd more like that to look forward to.

JOY.

6 to go

1 week down. 6 more to go.

I have 6 more weeks before the semester ends and the study break starts. This time around my exam schedule kinda suck because it starts and ends very late. Last semester I had Medsci as the first paper and that was over n done with pretty early. I only had my sport science and psych papers to worry about after that.

This semester I start really late into the exam...which means i have a much longer time to study (no, that is not something i'd rejoice over, seriously). Coz the longer the time given to me, the longer I will procrastinate. And my final paper, which is Spanish (sigh...stupid elective) falls on the very last day of the exams, 29th June. Which is a Monday! Because Kiwis, weird as they are, just HAD to have that weekend for students like me to mull over and watch other students who finish on the Friday before kick off their heels and throw their heads back!

Stupid. I still don't understand why they make Monday the last day of exams. It doesnt make any sense at all. And Thursday is the first day. Can't they just start on a Monday and finish on like a Friday?

Owell. Spanish is fairly easy and a fun subject so i guess i'm pretty free once i'm done with the other papers on the 22nd. =)

On a not-so-different note, I passed my Biosci 107 mid semester exam! The one I thought I was going to fail. I got 65%. What a shocker. I was stoked! =) Yay~! At least I know my chances of passing this subject is higher now. =)

Oh adventure race, how i miss thee

Heat radiating from the face
A muddy drop of sweat trickles down
Feet sore, yet oh so strong
Keeping up as it thumps on the ground

Arms shiver in fatigue
Body screaming for food
Yet the spirits are high, way up high
And the atmosphere smelt so good

Gashes and cuts lace the body
Joints exhausted from the pounding
Ankles swollen, knees feel like jelly
Yet laughter is heard amidst the running

Feet sloshing in soaking wet shoes
Clothes clinging, abrasions stinging
Yet a smile is found ever so often
The fun never stopped motivating

Breathing is hard, cold and forced
Heart is slamming against the chest
Yet to be immersed in it all
Outright thumps the rest

My brother sent me Doc Hisyam's Sabah Adventure Challenge race report. That's a race I want to do someday. Sabah is gorgeous! And 3 days in the jungle...pretty intense fun. =)

I took a longer run just now. There's something about running in the cold that makes u feel somewhat cured of all fatigue after the run. I think, I'm actually starting to like running in the cold. With sleeved t shirts and long tights of course. :)

that easter break

With this morning's 10km race, the 2nd leg of the Run Auckland series, ends my Easter break for the semester. I had a good run, the scenery was really something, with the Auckland skyline in the horizon. But even though I felt like I was running faster than I used to, putting in more effort than i used to, I seem to be running slower than I thought - 58 minutes. It's odd really. I don't pride myself as someone who trains very hard..because I don't..but I never really deprove (if there's such a word) that badly before. Guess the Auckland terrain got the better of me. That, or Aunty Jane's awesome home cooked meals. hehe...

After the race I went for another $10 buffet in the city. This time it was yum char (better known as dim sum) at Ocean City. Ocean City really gave us value for money with their delicious siew mai and siew loong pao and many other stuff. Yum...
And yes, we finished all that. That was only round 1. =)

So it's back to school tomorrow. Back to 6.30 am starts. I reckon this 2nd half of the semester would go by pretty quickly now with assignments coming in, whilst juggling my 2 jobs. It's gonna be a quick 7 weeks before exams begin. =)

hola! mi nombre Marcos...

This little 5 year old Spanish speaking boy came with his mommy to the Unisports gym today. Seeing i had nothing much to do, I played with him for about an hour writing alphabets, spelling names and drawing. So adorable! =)

boys..big boys..

In the Unisports gym, I see lots of men. Big men. It's a drastic change from working in an all women environment.

In fact there's a guy who wears red framed shades, has a tattoo on both his deltoids, and spots a spiky hairstyle. He's huge, ripped even. And he reminds me a lot of Owen from One Tree Hill.
So many muscular men in a day. whoa. ;)

Unisports Training Centre, How May I Help You?

i started my new job at Unisports today.
LOVE the gear.
and the jumper is BRAND new. It had a tag on it.
*heart*

happy birthday mummy

When times are dull and monotonous
You bring on life and colours and rhyme
You bring on fun and laughter when we’re young
Which carry on in our hearts through time

When times are dark and fearful
You bring light to brighten it up
You bring warmth to comfort our nerves
You bring assurance that you’ll never give up

When times are unreasonable and unjust
You take in our raging temper
You calm us down with soothing words
When none other would understand better

When times are happy and full of zest
Often we take for granted how it came to be
That, really, life for us is grand and wholesome
You made sure of that when you raised us three

am i that easy to leave

am i that easy to leave
does it all just get written over
the story of our lives
the times we've spent together

am i that easy to walk away from
my kisses that easy to forget
does the touch of my skin mean nothing
more than a bundle of regret

do the visions of me just fade
as easily as the taste of water
does my voice calling out your name
not stay around and linger

is my face that easy to turn away from
does my smile not make you smile
does the fear of responsibility outweigh
the love we've had all this while

am i that small in value
that a second's thought is so hard to give
honey, tell me again
am i so easy to leave

*edit* just a pondering. has nothing to do with me, don't worry.

***

at Rebecca St James' concert, she spoke about a new movie she was starring in where she played the role of a girl who was pregnant out of wedlock. it made me think of a client i had on Saturday who was transferring her membership to a friend. when i asked her why, she said because her partner got her pregnant and then left her.

just now over dinner, we watched a news covering a center for pregnant teenagers, the youngest mother being only 13 years old. most of them, their partners fled after they find out they're pregnant, and the mom of the unborn child is left alone.

now i am someone with very strong principles with regards to pre-marital sex. call me conservative, but cases like these are reason enough to hold back certain things in life, if you don't buy the whole "sex is an act of true commited love between two commited souls" thing.

i'll be frank. i am terrified of the thought of being pregnant at the age of 23, let alone the age of 13. it would be, without a shadow of doubt, the worst thing that could happen to me at this point in life, and any point until i say I do, for that matter.

i think that the partners of these ladies have the right to be scared. whether they run away or not, that reflects their attitudes towards responsibility, but their decisions aside, they have every right to be scared. and though it is cruel to leave their women to fend for themselves, my stand is still prevention is better than cure. or in this case, solution.

just my 2 cents worth. what do u think?

Rebecca St James

Last night Lily brought me to go watch a very very VERY cool gig at Life, her church. The Aussie born American singer, Rebecca St James didn't ring any bells to me when I first heard her name. But she was pretty awesome. And her brothers Joel & Luke, were pretty cool too. Joel, sang back up with Rebecca for most of the songs and in my very humble opinion, he's quite hot. =) Even more so when he started his song with a short speech on how all the men in the room deserved to have a strong woman in their lives and how every woman is a princess in her own way and should never have to settle for second best. I think he melted a billion hearts in that auditorium last night. Have a listen at their songs, you won't regret it. =)

Joel on the big screen

Rebecca with Tema and Lily

Joel (the hotter more rockstar one on the left) & Luke (the mysterious one according to Lily) and the 3 of us

When Ju came to town

Julie spent about 6 days here in Auckland and for the friend-deprived me, that was some awesome 6 days. haha...ok, i'm not friend-deprived la. I have vinz, nav, ben, abby, cheryl, hanzi, and some 10 other random names. =)

But nevertheless, Julie made my easter break. We had lots of fun meeting up with friends, snapping truckloads of pictures and road tripping! Here's what we were up to...

There goes 1 week of my Easter break. 1 more to go. So fast!

Happy Easter everyone! =)

tralala~!

Julie's here!

If I were a nerd

I really envy nerds. I envy the dedication and commitment they can give towards studying. I envy how they strive so hard to score those impossibly high marks. I wish I had half their will power.

I just had an exam for BioSci 107. and i had really put in quite a lot of effort into this one. i was studying every day for it for about a week. and i did online tests and past year exam papers and did them pretty well too. it came to a point i was looking forward to sitting for this exam because i wanted to test how much i knew. i felt this aura of confidence and self esteem when i walked to uni today to catch the bus.

and then i met my friend Terry. and Terry said to me "I think I'm gonna do really well in this, aye. I think I'm gonna get at least 75% right, I'm sure. How about you?" yea, they don't do that whole humble thing over here. They speak how they feel. Suddenly i feel my confidence shaken. just by his overwhelming confidence.

I walked into the exam hall still feeling quite alright. And then it started. First question. not too sure. 2nd question. not too sure. 3rd question...oh shit. and it went downhill from there. there were a few questions which i probably aced. but i would say 50/50 at this point.

about 4 hours ago I felt pretty smart. I felt like a science student. I KNEW stuff. Stuff with big names like buccopharangeal arch and interembryonic mesoderm.

right now i don't feel so smart. i feel kinda stupid. i feel like once again, Science has proven to me that i am not cut out for it.

I wanna be a nerd. I wanna be kiasu.

***

saw this one imprinted somewhere on the grounds of Auckland Uni. Love it when they have these random art on the ground...