when "coupla weeks more" turns into "coupla days more"

ok...i feel it now. the urgency to get everything i could possibly bring over in my 30 kg weight limit, that would ensure my survival in Kiwiland, to buy anything that would help me save my cost of living because it's 2.5 times cheaper here, to get all things sorted out over there from who's picking me up, to where i'm gonna live, and last but not least, the urgency to meet up, spend time with and cherish the people i'd be leaving behind.

it's not supposed to sound that sad. i am, without a doubt, thrilled and psyched to be embarking on this new chapter of my life. i have been waiting for this for a pretty long time, and it's all happening sooner than it seemed. but a nagging thought rests in the pits of my mind, a restless knowing that things aren't going to be the same right now. we promise to keep in touch, and we hug and bid our goodbyes with hopes that time would accelerate till the time we meet again, just so we can preserve whatever ties and relationship we have fostered. but how often does that happen?

i've started packing a few days ago. i need a bigger bag. my things are bursting out of the one i have now and it ain't because i'm a heavy traveller. i'd like to think i am actually able to live off the bare necessities. but the winter stuff just takes up too much space.

i've 4 days left before i fly off. i think i've managed to meet up with all the people who see me on a pretty regular basis, those who would actually feel my absence in their lives (che wah...hehe...). There are others whom i failed to squeeze them in, but they should be fine without me, since we don't meet up that often anyway.

Shirlyn's coming home! I miss that woman so much, i don't know if 2 days are enough for us to catch up!

And then there's Dennis. I'll miss the boy so much. If at any point in time i find myself curled up in my room on a cold cold day in Auckland willing time to just fast forward to December, my guess is it would be because of him.

And there's my family. It aches me to know that they've paid so much and I'm the one who's going to have all the fun. For them i'd wish to accelerate time to the year 2010. Convocation. I look forward to be able to repay my brother and my parents for this degree more than anything else in the world.

All these emotions are being mixed and blended in the depths of my stomach.

I think I feel an anxiety attack comin...