Friday, July 13, 2007

climbing The Ladder

Yuh Huey, pinjam your pic ya!

I read an article on Malaysian Today yesterday. It was about how members of the opposite sex cannot be just friends because of The Ladder Theory. The ladder signifies the hierarchy a subject takes when someone is trying to size him/her up. There may be various attributes (e.g. looks, brains, sex appeal, money etc.) which varies from person to person.

A man has one ladder. Which means every single woman he comes across will be rated on that one ladder. It could be on her looks, on her character (well we all know what most men will rate women on la, but for formality sake let's pretend that men can actually think in more than one dimension) etc. But the point here is, there is only one ladder. Thus, all women will be sized up on this ladder. So the boy may have female friends and acquaintances in his life, but it is almost certain that at one point in time, they have been sized up on his ladder before.

A woman on the other hand is said to have two ladders. One for men whom she considers friends and the other for men whom she wants to have more going on with. And very seldom, though not entirely, will these two ladders coincide. In other words, women are able to distinguish the differences between male friends and boyfriend materials.
Now, please know that neither do i support this theory, nor do i question it. Because for those of you who know me, you would know that while i may be successful in most areas of my life, relationship issues seem to be my weakest point. But with all due respect, I do have male friends who are just friends. In fact, i would say i have more male friends than female friends. And to add to that, some of my closest friends have in fact been guys. They provide me with everything a friend should provide - trust, security, comfort, fun.

Now, the question is, have i sized them up before? Frankly, i have. But it could be the fact that I am still on a mission to find Mr Right, that I have, in fact, looked at all possibilities. I would be lying if I said I had not imagined a "what if" situation with most of my male friends. But I do it on a very professional basis, if i should say so myself. And I believe that while my head may have conjured up images of a dating scenario, I remain composed and collected on the outside.
I believe with all my heart that two members of the opposite sex can be friends. And Harry and Sally happened because they had no other friend of the same hierarchy as each other in their lives. But I also believe that it is only human nature for someone to size another person up should the subject be of the opposite gender. Just, try to keep the sizing up as discreet and disguised as possible or a whole lot of confusion may just occur. And truth be told, I think relationships that progressed from a long lasting friendship is the sweetest of all relationships.

what do you think?


Anonymous said...

yes yes..i totally agree!!!

galnexdor said...

ahhaha you agreeing with which part of my post deary?

Stupe said...

I agree with the picture! The climb ladder picture!

galnexdor said...

hahha...thats my very dear London now...graduated from a degree in performing arts...=)