time to be intellectual again...

i've gone back to reading. i figured since i would be free this holidays, i might as well grab a book and "expand my horizons". i re-borrowed the book i was reading at the start of the semester, the one with 3 stories in it by Mary Higgins Clark. i was only a few pages into the 2nd story when i was rudely interrupted by the devils Assignments and Exams.

anyway, i thoroughly enjoyed the first story I'll Be Seeing You. it's a twisted tale of a really pretty reporter whose father's death was a mystery. suddenly this other woman dies and the resemblance between the dead woman and this reporter was remarkable. and from there the story unravels slowly releasing more and more deceits and lies that all of them were living in.

now i'm reading Remember Me. this one's a bit more thriller-ish because there seems to be a spirit-like character involved. which, if you guys know me well enough, makes it hard for me to read it at night. but at night is the only time i have to read in my busy jam-packed schedule. the story's about a young married couple who recently lost a baby boy. the wife had suffered from depression and was just recovering when they had another baby. they bought a summer house in this place called the Cape and there's something about that house, especially in the baby's room.

yup, i dont know when i'll finish it but i will. then there's the 3rd story Let Me Call You Sweetheart, which sounds pretty daunting too. i hope can finish the book before finals. Roshida just lent me The Devil Wears Prada. so Wendy, if you're reading this, i just remembered who Wendy Moh is, and no you're not Wendy from Camp 5. hehe my bad. anyway, ive gotten the book, so thanks anyway! :)

God knows when i'll start that though. *shrugs*

where have all my money gone?

S'kali screening with Lyn and Rosie:



Camp 5 with Joey, Grace and Daniel:




being proactive and having different groups of friends who are just as proactive is expensive...*shrug*

just a thought...

when i heard from Pipot that the Powerbar Team Elite 2007 applications are open, i figured i'd give it a shot.

but the form is complicated. it made me realise how lightly i take the sport. for example,
"Superstitions and/or rituals for competition"

how am i supposed to answer that exactly?

a hardcore athlete would probably have something along the lines of "i put on my good luck bedsheet and pillowcase the night before" or "i'd stick to the same bathroom i always use". hehe actually, i got this from the movie Wimbledon, whereby this player refused to change his room after he won the first round coz even the bothroom plays a vital role.

an everyday joe would probably say "i'd stay off spicy food and get a good night's rest the day before" or something.

but i dont have a good luck blankie, i don't bother laying off spicy food (or any food for that matter) and i don't even bother sleeping early. the one and only thing that repeats before every race is i'd pin my number on the night before. this i must.

come to think of it, i think even my training is insufficient. though ive been showing progress, i think i still don't put in enough.

owell...:) just a thought...

now to get that form completed and sent by tomorrow. i just compiled my entire history of running into a table and found out that i have done 48 races in total since i started running in the year 1999. pretty cool eh? :)

Raymond Ching in town!

so what do you do when a Penangite comes to town and asks you to bring him around Subang?

we play pool in Asia Club.

we have drinks in Asia Cafe.

we have Salmon Steak for dinner.

we drive to Pyramid for a movie.

we decide against watching a movie because DVDs in Penang are so CHEAP they're all pro DVD.

we play bowling instead.

we camwhore with lantern decor in the centre of Pyramid.

then, when everyone's sick of Subang already, we speed off to SS2 Murni for Claypot Loh Shu Fan, Garlic Cheese Naan and Tom Yam soup.

heh. how come there are no tours to Subang? i'd be more than fit to be a tour guide.

"For a typically Subang day". hey...it could work. :)





***
I wanna read The Devil Wears Prada. Anyone loves me enough to buy/lend me the book?

Why I Love Julie Kuan Min Tze

1. she's the first person i think of if i want a long telephone conversation therapy

2. hanging out with her comes in 3 easy steps. just call her up, pick her up, and go :)

3. she stuck by me for the past 9 years

4. she's my 8-scoop chocoholic earthquake buddy

5. she's into hugs

6. she's into camwhoring

7. her house is always open for me to crash in

8. 90% of the card games i know i learnt them from her

9. i trust her sense of direction with my life (only applicable in PJ, SJ and parts of KL)

10. her taste in guys are entirely different from mine so we would never be liking the same guys

11. she had taken shit from me and forgiven me time and time again

12. we look good in photos together

13. she gives me free chips

14. she takes my hand-me-downs sometimes

15. she loves me

right, Ju? :)






***xoxox***

addictions

i'm addicted to 2 things at this point in my life.

first, i'm addicted to downloading movies and TV series off the net. Especially One Tree Hill. I've been indulging in waaaay too much OTH that i'm afraid i may be falling in love with Lucas Scott. I mean, look at him! He is beyond cool. I'm currently downloading season 3. and thank God it's taking forever. least that will give me some time to finish my assignments.

secondly, i'm addicted to sour cream and onion chips. I ate up an entire packet of Lay's chips all by myself. Lucky for me, it's expensive, so to make it more worth it, i spread it over 3 days. Then as i was walking to Public Bank that day, i bought a packet of Pringles On-The-Go from some kedai runcit that day and finished it before i reached the bank. This is pretty unhealthy i know. And it doesnt help that i kinda stopped running because i'm turning lazy.

i think i need to start running n cycling. if i dont, i may turn into this:

***

next week is my mid sem break! my friends have got a string of events lined up, which i dont know whether or not i should look forward to. coz u know what happens when you have activity-packed holidays...they pass by faster than you can say ho-li-day.

nonetheless, I cant wait!!!

forever love

tell me. how many of you grew up to the immortal Disney Princess classics. How many of you wept your eyes out when Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger on that spindle? How many of you swooned at the sight of Cinderella's Prince Charming? How many of you hissed and spat at the evil queen in Snow White? How many of you drooled over the streetwise, acrobatic, strong, muscular Aladdin? (i know i definitely did) and how many of you sighed and shed tears of happiness watching the princes and princesses kissing each other in the end that you remained planted in that glossy eyed position till the credits rolled over to the end?

this may not apply for to the guys, but i know that both the guys and girls at one point believed in true, everlasting love once in their lives. guys, it's ok to admit it. we know you did once. i know this topic has been discussed time and time again in chic zines, the Sunday times, radio programs and late night TV shows. its been spat at, criticized, bitched about, glorified, condemned, crucified, appreciated and literally vommited out in so many blogs countless of times. i, myself, have gone down that dark and stormy path of utter and pure true love condemnation once or twice. yet, here i am again, rambling on again about this insanely subjective and abstract topic.

reason being this:



i got this when someone paid me some cash the other day. i was quite taken by it. first, it was the familiarity of the concept of it which was copied from the movie Serendipity which happens to be my favourite movie. second, it was the utter coolness of the fact that someone tried it out. third, it's the amazing historical element of it for it was dated 4.4.03. and finally, it was the pang of sadness that came with wanting to do something like that too.

my immediate response was to wonder if "CT & Adeq" were still together. i mean, they did write "forever in love". what if they've broken up? and it did go back to one of their hands? how would they feel? would all their feelings start rushing back? would they start believing in fate and faith and start running back to each other?

something to think about? definitely. but since we're at this topic, let's not sleep on it. let's talk. are there still believers of fated love? do the words "soulmate" and "meant to be" exist for real? do people still believe that there's a special someone for everyone in this world?

i know i believed in that for a pretty long time. i grew up believing in fairytales. i wanted so much to have a fairytale happen to me too - to be able to light up when i tell people my story of how i met him and how we fell in love. i believed that God had arranged for everyone to have a special someone. i believed that you cannot grow to love someone, unless he/she was meant to be with you.

that's meeting true love. then there's forever love. i believed that there are still people out there who are loyal beyond this world. i believed that there are still people who will take all sorts of shit from you and still love you for everything. i believed that absence makes the heart grow fonder. i believed that marriages are permanent and they last forever.

i believed in a whole lotta crap. and there's testimony to it. the Hollywood celebrities are the perfect examples. gone is the vow "to have and to hold till death do us part". then again, actors and artistes are lousy references.

maybe fairytales do happen to people. as long as there is true love in this world, i think fairytales do happen to the people who love with all their heart. and they can meet through a dating service, or an ad in the papers or even a dumb reality show. they can be introduced at parties or found on Friendster. the channel does not really matter does it? what's really important is the journey that begins after they fall in love. the happy times they enjoy together and the rough times they pull through together.

i saw this episode of Everybody Loves Raymond the other night. Robert and his wife, Amy threw a celebration for their 3 month wedding anniversary. and they were all lovey dovey and mushy gooey that it made Ray and Deb sick. and when the brothers and their wives start lashing at each other about "the married life", Frank and Marie steps in and says what the true meaning of a marriage is. to accept each individual entirely and to stick with each other no matter what.

acceptance. i think that's the biggest issue of love. or at least, i think it's the main issue that i have to learn. when people tell me i'm pick, they ain't kidding. i am. i have such high standards and criteria and the slightest flaw in a person will change my mind immediately. and i keep telling myself, if it was meant to be, then it'll be.

but i've said it once. cupid may strike the arrows, but at the end of the day, it still takes a sensible amount of courage and a good pick up line to get things started. and somebody has to do it.

i may have summed up a lot of things today and drawn a lot of conclusions. but i still won't know for sure until i find my true love. i'm still looking. but i wont hurry. i've got a long way ahead. and i'll keep my options open. :)

and as for CT and Adeq, i hope they're still together. i'm gonna spend that note tomorrow. and i hope it lands back in their hands. who knows, maybe they'll read this post of mine and suddenly see a spark of hope. :)

Mizuno Wave Run 2006

this is actually my inaugural mizuno wave run. i don't know why, but i've never taken part in this event. i think it's because it's alwas so late in the year. either that or it always clashed with something which i deem more important. :)

i had already planned to have a slow and easy run. i hadn't done any running throughout the week. i was recovering from the half marathon, plus work was piling up. my mid sems were going on. assignments were due. needless to say, i was sleep deprived as well. so i was in no condition to do a sub 1 hour run, in my opinion. oh and i'm having my period too. 2nd day. cramps were getting the better of me this morning.

with that in mind, i was ready for a good time along my favourite route in KL. well, it was actually harder than i thought. i was struggling to maintain my pace up the killer hills. there was a point when Uncle Choi overtook me. he was running with Mr Wan and i actually attempted to keep up. haha...what a joke.:)

then somewhere before the 8 km mark, i saw Carboman walking. when i asked him what happened he said "Send an ambulance over". i laughed. i thought he was joking. hey, you were joking right? didnt see you laugh also. in the end he picked up pace and it wasn't long before he disappeared before my eyes, so i guess if he was running to the ambulance he'd get to it first. hehe...

well i came in, in 1:02:29. felt a bit woozy to be honest. but it was a good run. saw melody and adelle handing out flyers for Powerman. "Just a little reminder to let you know we're still on" Adelle chirped. haha...yes, i forgot there's one last race for this year. but that's in November. :)

my dad ran too. he came in a tad later, 1:05. he's usually a 6 minute/km runner too. and he's the most consistent person i know. so i guess that's evidence that the route was pretty tough.

saw many others. a few fellas came up to me saying "hey, you're Karen right? i met you at ___ before". it's either at camp 5, or here, or some other race. pretty cool i'd say. it's a pleasure to meet all of you. :)

lesser of both evils

my brain's a wreck
i'm torn apart
a tug of war is ripping my heart

my mind's a blur
no answer in sight
2 choices, neither wrong, neither right

it isn't fair
i don't want to take part
i'd rather lie than to live a facade

a change of direction
a different perspective
by my principles i chose to live

it's hard to accept
i cannot just close an eye
to shrug it off i will not try

paths have diverged
there's no turning back
no point in getting back on track

might not understand
might not fit in
maybe time will show me what you all have seen

***

a lot of things have been on my mind lately. there's exams, assignments, coaching, running. it all seems good - the hectic life. what i've always wanted to make my semesters fly by faster.

but a fickled mind sometimes makes the wrong choices. except that in all the grey, i saw it as the best choice. although guilt gnawed at my very core, and i feel really bad for lying. but i knew if i hadn't i'd be even more miserable.

as a schoolgirl, i've always wanted to be out of school. to have that driver's license, to go to college and to be the driver of my own life, so to speak. i was a typical teenager with raging hormones, thinking of all the possibilities that could happen once i'm out of school. i wanted to club, i wanted to hang out till late, i always groaned and whined when my mum starts ringing my phone at 11.45 pm getting me to go home. i'd come home in a crummy mood, and in my spoilt temper, overlooked my mum's looks of concern and worry evolving to sighs of relief that i'm home safe and sound.

i made my mum miserable many times. but i never saw it. i had always wished that i had a more lenient mum. i had wished that she'd be more sporting. i had so many selfish wishes that it disgusts me to reflect upon myself now. but in spite of all the tempers i threw, in spite of all the sulky faces i pulled and the answering back and the complaining, i would never ever regret the values that my mum had hotwired into my mind and soul.

and i can be too firm and adamant sometimes. i can be bossy, expecting people to see things the way i do. but only for all the things i believe is good. and to sit back and say "hey, you can do whatever you want, but i'm not into this kinda stuff" may seem like a viable option, but it's not that easy. i can't pretend that i'm okay with it. i criticise these people. i look down upon them. i think they're shallow. so though i won't commit it myself, the fact that my own friends do, doesn't make me feel any better.

in all my life, i have always defended my friends in the face of my mum. i always had their backs. my mum always said my bunch of friends were a wilder bunch than my brother's. the thing is, i know the kind of people my mum wants me to hang out with. and i used to believe that i already am. but it's changing now.

my point is, if you can go back home, and tell your mum the naked truth about everything that goes around u in ure life. what u do, what ure friends do, how they're like, how you are like. if u can tell your mum with a straight face, and know for sure that she won't be shocked or surprised or disappointed? then i say go ahead. do whatever u want with ure life. because i can. i may be the most estranged child in this family, but i can march up to my parents and just spill everything out, and i can guarantee you that there won't be a single thing that they won't be proud of.

i told a white lie today. a little white lie, that i've probably told many times. except that this time, i didnt lie to my mum.

as a schoolgirl i wanted so badly to grow up. now that i have, i'd like to go back to playing "heart attack" and "speed". i'd like to have dinner in McDs, and coke for dessert. i'd like to talk about songs, and boybands and shopping. just like we used to.

u can run all u like, girl, that wont make u a HD student!

i think i kinda screwed my Finance mid sem exam today. i feel so bad...

..because it was so darn easy
..because i could've easily scored 80% and above for it today
..because i never took the time to sit down and really study
..because i took things for granted
..because i literally tembaked 30-40% of the paper

i'm usually a very contented student. i do what i can, and never have any expectations. i never really believed i can do better than what i did, because i know that given a second chance, i wouldn't have studied any harder than i had. after a paper i never rush to my notes to see if the guesses i made were correct. i never compared notes with friends. i prefer to look at it as 1 item down, x more to go.

today, for the first time in my life, i felt like i seriously could've done better. a whole lot better. i was tired. i went to bed early last night after running through my notes. this morning i woke up 20 minutes earlier to run through them again. i thought i has grasped sufficient information. turned out, i grasped a fistfull of sand, which gradually slipped through my fingers as i did my paper.

sigh. my lecturer is going to be so disappointed in me. i swear this will not happen in finals.

***

on a brighter note, my knees no longer hurt. it did this morning, but it's all good now, like newly lubricated hinges of a door. er...ok bad metaphor.

trivia on Karen's legs.
i'm bowl legged. not only that, both my legs bowl at different degrees, causing me to run awkwardly. my brothers say i tend to swing my right leg. my own observation finds that my right foot pronates a lot more than my left coz my right leg is more bent. after the 21 km, my right knee hurt a lot more than my left knee, but my left foot's plantar(sole of foot) was much more sore than my right's.

i'm no podiatrist, but my instincts tell me i need a different kind of shoes for each foot. =)

the half marathon

in all my years of running, i've never applied sunblock before. i have this phobia of it entering my eyes with my sweat, causing my eyes to smart. i had no idea what got into me this morning. must be the 4 hours of sleep. i was already sun burnt from College Day. so i decided to apply a tinge of sunblock to safe my face from total roasting. super smart move. pun intended.

but that, and the fact that i forgot my wristband, aside, the Putrajaya Marathon is at the top of my favourite race list for this year.

THE half marathon! i'm not gonna lunge into some long winded report. i'm too psyched to go into descriptions and narrations. so here's the cold hard truth. I slashed my 21km personal best by 5 whole minutes! and i didn't stop to walk ONCE! Ha!

now if there had to be a doctor i love most right now, is the Doctor who gave me my runs back. The doctor who gave my 2 hours and 12 minutes for a freaking 21.1km race!!

Of course, my dad deserves all of my love too. His race started at 7.30 am, but unfortunately he has a mad comeback runner as a daughter who was crazy enough to sign up for 21km after weeks and weeks of racing! we left the house at 5 am! Can't thank him enough! People tell me how lucky i am to have such a supportive dad. People, i KNOW. i'm his daughter! :)

And to Sam, for making my first 10 km a breeze because of his crazy antics of overtaking people and stepping onto drinking cups and sponges. Seriously, i was like "whoa! half way already, so fast!"

And to the runs in Sydney! if my brother had not dragged me from Pitt St, all the way to the Opera House, all the way across Circular Quay and all the way back, i'd still be doing my 3-4km/day runs! i think that pretty much jump started my "longer distance" training. haha!

I was too lazy to snap pics. I managed to steal some from Uncle Choi. Darn semangat man he, bring camera to run. The next time he tells me he's out of training i'm not believing him. hehe....


post race (Photo by Uncle Choi)

i'm so happy!

p.s.: i think i've busted my knees. and ive got a purple toe nail. bummer.

the dinner, the College Day and the rock concert

there was this dinner on Friday night, supposedly as a farewell to those flying off to UK and as a celebration for Peijien and Ju's birthday. it was funny that after all these while of "Let's get out of Subang la wei" we finally settled for a somewhere in Subang. And of all places, Kim Gary. haha...i miss that place tho. It's been a while. french toast...mmm...

i didn't quite like this gathetring to be honest. first of all, we were so late. i swear i'm developing gastric. we only ate at about 9.30, after circling the darn pyramid parking for aeons! then, we were separated into 2 groups. and when everything was going pretty well, they lunged into darn stupid topics of discussions. after that, we were supposed to go bowling, but since i had college day the next day and we had to be in college by 6.30 am, i was really reluctant to.

anyway. pics for the night.

weng lum, anne, julie me, daniel, kenny

julie and her birthday present
***

College Day is an event for all the colleges under the Inti group. There was Inti College Malaysia (Nilai), Inti College Subang Jaya, Inti College Genting and Metropolitan College (Ya, kami dijajah!). I thought it was a Sports Day but it turned out it was more like a games carnival. They have food and games stalls, telematches, athletics, basketball, street soccer, debate, ping pong - everything! it's pretty exciting.
I was quite amazed at the spirit of some of these students. especially Inti College SJ. their march past was pretty fantastic. i wonder why i've never heard them practising. if i did, i would've gone over and spied a little. hehe...hey, survival of the fittest, people. it's a dog eat dog world out there.:)

What i liked about it was the Sports Day atmosphere. i'm a sucker for team spirit, people cheering, sportsmanship - i can stand under the sun all day without complaining as long as there's the blazing spirit of sports! i really really miss Sports Days.

anyway i signed up for 800m, coz it's the longest. But the turn up for athletics was pretty pathetic. i had to fight the temptation to sign up last minute for 200m n 400m. but i didn't want to exert myself too much. so i stuck to my 800m race. there were only 2 of us, just like how there were only 2-3 participants for the other events. i got gold, though it's not much of an achievement since my oponent was running in jeans. *shrugs* clocked 4 minutes 4 seconds. =)

anyway, had fun. metro brought home several medals n prizes. go metro! next year, i'll march an army of athletes into the arena! just you wait, all you Intis!

***Rock4Hope rocked! hehe...the turn up wasn't too good. but i have to say, Deja Voodoo Spells and A Day At The Zoo are pretty darn good. I'm not really a rocker chic. The only rock i enjoy are pretty much those along the lines of Jail House Rock. I have to say that my wmp is filled with pop and RnB songs. Okla, so i have a couple of Bon Jovis and GunsNroses. And if Nikelback is Rock then, well, i have that too. but that's about it.
But these 2 bands were good. they got me bobbing my head and tapping my feet. but i guess i only enjoyed it was coz it was loud and live. i have this theory that if a song is blasted aloud, you'll tend to like it no matter how bad it is. well, as long as it has a beat.

though i probably would've had a much better time at a hip hop concert, i give Rock4Hope 4/5 stars, 2 of which goes to the basist of Deja Voodoo Spells for the Mario Brothers theme song and their drummer, for the amazing drum solo!

rocker enough? i tried...

the walk

it was a shady yet bright morning. post rain. i had a good night sleep of 9 full hours. it's been a while since i had that. i got up, and went down for breakfast. made myself hot Milo kosong, and scarfed down a piece of butter chocolate cake.

i went up and changed into my sports top. scooped my hair up into a ponytail (or the best i can make out of my short hair). i pulled my t shirt over and galloped down the stairs. i dragged out my mum's Brooks and put them on. grabbed my backpack, and off i went. the weather was perfect. i had a little skip to my brisk walk.

i took the main road down. it's a lot safer, plus, there's more to see. as i passed by my primary school, i realised how much it has changed. i mean, i never observed it long enough. even when i fetch Keith, i usually sit in the car and enjoy the radio. Then i remembered.

we were hiding under the staircase. the TAK Tangga we called it. and of all people we were hiding from her. it was hilarious. especially when i tripped and fell. A and T brought me up to the Bilik Sakit and put 4 plasters on my wound. it seriously only needed one strip. but the blood that smeared all around disgusted them. Then we got back to class and got yelled at by Puan Puteri Diana.

next i walked down Padang Asam. there was a couple sitting on one of the benches. i smiled as i remembered all the rumours i've heard about that place during school. but right there in daylight, it seemed just as innocent as it is - a children's playpen. an image flashed before me.

it was a piece of paper with my name on it. someone wrote "I *heart* Karen" and left it on the ground. i could recognize the handwriting. it was unmistakable. why would he drop it there? he knew i walked home through this place everyday. did he do it on purpose?

a question i never got the answer to. i continued on. walking past SMKSJ, memories started to grow in my mind. i stepped up onto the pavement at the corner. another image flashed.

the Roti man's motorbike was parked there as usual. it was after school, approaching 7 pm. i wanted to go home, but L asked me to stay. She asked me to 'teman' her till her dad comes. it felt pretty good that this popular senior had requested my company. She introduced me to several other seniors. Who would've thought i'd date one of them someday. I accompanied her for a few days after that.

I wonder where L is now. actually, i wonder how we were, once upon a time, that close. i stumbled upon her blog recently. she seems to be doing fine. i carried on walking down the road till i reached the shops. something about this place seemed so familiar.

puv and i are rushing to college again. coz he was late, again. but i guess it never really bothered me. coz i could always count on him.

haha...at least i always could then. nowadays i'd be lucky if he replies my sms in an hour. but i guess he'd still be the guy next door to me. or rather...No.61. :) up the bridge i ran. i did intend to work up a sweat. went to the Post Office and on to Public Bank. Maybe daddy should send me on errands more often. i get to exercise and get things done, without wasting petrol. heh. walking back up from Public Bank, i decided to stop by one of the shops on the other row. I cut through Success, which was quite a haunt back in those days.

it's Wednesday again. and i was feeling like a hot Kuey Tiaw T'ng for RM2.70. so the G2 peeps met me outside class. and we headed over to Success. then we'd go up the stairs to the dingy 1st floor which stank of damp carpets.

i made my way back home. as it is, my backpack was damp with my sweat too. crossing school again, this uncle on a motorbike waved at me. "Excuse me, can you help me?" I think society has made us all paranoid. My first instinct was to ignore and walk as fast as i could away. If he gives chase i'll run. I'm prepared, i thought. "Sorry. Don't worry, i'm not a robber. I just want to ask where this address is". he must've seen me tense up. So he stopped 3 feet away from me and shouted over. after that i kinda felt bad for thinking otherwise. i pointed him in the direction. as he left, i prayed he found the place. I wasn't sure where it was too.

2 soft honks came from a little green kelissa. Why, if it wasn't Mr Khaw. haha...i bet he thought i was crazy to be walking under the sun at 11.30 am. owell...

i reached home safe and sound. and very much enlightenned by my little walk down memory lane today. :)

the weirdest thing happened to me today.

i was on my way out. i bent down to grab my sandals from the shoe rack, and suddenly, out of nowhere, there was this sharp, piercing pull, from my left hemstring up to my gluteus (that's the butt muscle).

the pain was short but so immense that it was crippling for a moment. and just as sudden as it came, it went.

i started stretching immediately, but no traces of the slightest pain can be felt after that.

hmm...

un.pro.duc.tive

i guess when u open your eyes for the first time for the day, just to see that its 8.30 am (class starts at 8.30 am), you know that the day is just downhill from there.

truthfully speaking, ive been late before. and usually the hard part is just getting to class as early as possible and looking as good as possible in the shortest possible period of time. once i'm in class, everything turns out fine.

but this morning, i woke up with a throbbing head. i had gone to be last night setting the alarm at 7.00 am, hoping to run before class today. but when the alarm rang, my head buzzed even louder. so i slammed it off and went back to sleep without resetting the alarm. that's very typical of me. so i rushed to class in 10 minutes. not surprisingly, i wasn't the latest.

as Ms Janice ran through the MCQ questions, my head felt like a brick. didn't help that the room was dark and i had to answer questions. nevermind that. class ended early, 9.30 am instead of 10 am. so we sat down at the cafeteria thinking about where to head for breakfast. my mouth started to feel all bitter and my head was still spinning. Is that how morning sickness feels like??

anyway, i know i was going to throw up soon, so i told my friends i'm heading home. i walked as fast as my weakened knees could carry me to my car. and then i sped off, hoping my buzzing head had not blurred my judgement. the moment i reached home, i doubled over the toilet and threw up. it wasn't much. i mean, i didnt have anything for breakfast anyway. so it was just gastric juice.

walking slightly tipsy, i changed out of my jeans and fell into bed. i slept till 1.30-ish when Keith came home announcing his liberty (last day of UPSR).

i had porridge for lunch. my mouth was bitter all through the day. my head buzzed. i slept all afternoon. and when i figured a run could make things better, it poured in the evening. and so, i did a 100 sit ups. don't ask me what's the rationale. but i felt better. a run would've cured me entirely though.

and that was my wednesday. gone just because i had a couple of bad rambutans the night before. i am so running tomorrow morning. else i can kiss my half marathon target goodbye.

again

i'm back here again
my mind's racing
my heart's thumping
i'm talking in my head
i'm listening to what is said
i'm feeling that familiar pain

i'm at it again
my focus is grey
from my path i stray
my hopes refuse to go
my head takes it slow
to speak up, i refrain

my heart's breaking again
with every miss you make
with every step you take
moving further away
there's no way you'll stay
the signs are simple and plain

i'm back here again
my heart's breaking
my mind's stammering
my head keeps asking
questions nobody's answering
i'm falling again

it's been a while since i wrote a poem. honestly, it's been a while since i wrote a poem here. i've been writing poems that i didnt feel like posting, else my friends would think i need a boyfriend again. there's a fine line between needing one and wanting one really. then again, there's also a fine line between wanting one and wanting the one. that said, plus my sappy emo poem up there, i think it's pretty transparent that there is a want and a one involved. but, i have a knack for falling for people who don't exactly feel the same way. but, i'm cool. i figured that it's time i gave up that fairytale i've been hoping to live. sitting around waiting for cupid to strike his arrows may work to a certain extend. at the end of the day, even if he was meant to be with you, you'd still have to come up with actions and words to get the ball rolling.

anyway, though the above poem may have some elements of truth in it, it is more of a comeback post. i'm not that heartbroken. coz i felt that if i didnt write one soon, i might have to change the title of this blog. haha...:)

Awana Genting Trailblazer 2006

and so the much anticipated race of the year (in my opinion) came and went. seriously, among all of my long list of races, i looked forward to this most.

2 words. mud rocks!!

they were not kidding when they promised a meaner and muddier race this year! meaner? maybe. muddier? most definitely. but let's talk chronology.

Saturday, 2nd September

After finding out that Stephanie Chok was giving a talk called Powering Up Your Adventure Races on saturday, i told my dad that we had to reach Awana by 3 pm. for my own reasons, Stephanie is still the sportswoman i respect most. i'm a big fan of her, and to miss a talk by her would be unacceptable. she spoke on what gears to wear, ways to warm up and stretch effectively, preparing physically and mentally and some other things. what i liked about her talk was she spoke very much from her own experience. everything was just so honest. i dont know. i could be biased. but i enjoyed her talk a lot. :)

Photo courtesy of KC
first person i met, in his unmistakable blue pacesetter polo tee, donning his unmistakable camera around his neck, was KC!! it lights me up when i see him. it means i get professionally taken photos! i saw Heidilee when he gave us our free powerbars. then i spotted Mr Goh Choon Aun during the talk. but the most surprising thing was when i met Cindy Ho who lives a few doors down the road! she joined in with a bunch of friends. her partner was also a guy, hence they're also in the mixed mild category as well. she said she was afraid she might have to carry her partner out coz he had an injured hand. trust me, you dont want an injured hand any more than an injured foot when it comes to trail running.

Isaiah told me that he decided to sign up for it last minute. haha funny boy. racing has become a job requirement i guess. all kinds of races.

we stayed in Theme Park Hotel, under a Lobo package. My parents went to watch Lobo at the Arena of Stars, while Keith, Kelvin and myself had a night out at the First World Plaza. Keith and I are crazy over the bumper cars. it's childish i know. Even Kelvin chided me, but fun, i believe, should not be compensated! :)

After preparing for the race, we had an early retirement. i, by 11pm, was pooped.

Race Day, 3rd September

Daddy dropped Kelvin and i off at the race site at 7.40 am. The first person i bumped into was Isaiah and partner and photographer. haha...Isaiah was sweet enough to bring me a Powergel. yea, i know, i have to stop swiping Powergels from him. even if he gets them for free. haha...:)


benny, isaiah, moi, kelvin
i snapped a couple of pics...somehow wasnt too keen on camwhoring this time around. checked in my bag and went for the Fitness First warm up. the Wild category flagged off at 8.30 am. As they gathered at the starting line, i saw Cecil who was Heidilee's partner. And i saw Takatoshi Iwata. all of which were doing the Mild. Iwata was in the mixed summore! die ler....

Photo courtesy of KC

The Mild categories were supposed to be flagged off by 8.35 am. but they decided to flag us off at 8.45 am because they were afraid we might ambush the Wild men and women. haha...

Flag off! started off slow, like i always do. started to pick up only when we hit the terrain. The trail was slippery. I took several steps by chance, just praying that i dont slip. we started off good!


the majority of the route was the same as last year's. it jogged my memory a bit, reminding me how i desperately tried to keep up with Keeran last year. i took a lot of sidelines which i found very effective in overtaking people...something Keeran taught me to do. haha..

jumping into pools of water was the best. the water was icy cold but adrenaline pumped even harder. i guess when you're really pounding on the dirt, you watch your steps so much you forget how tired you are. :)

fat, muddy bumPhoto courtesy of KC
somwhere during the race, i spoke to some guys whom i overtook. out of oblivion he whips out a camera (which i wonder how he kept dry in those pools) and asks for a photo. i thought that was pretty hilarious. i tried looking for him at the ending so i could give him my email add to send the picture to, but to no avail.

i found the guys who took the pic!Photo courtesy of KC
somewhere towards the end, where the wild trail met the mild trail, i spotted a very familiar looking physique. turned out, it was Ronnie! haha...was quite surprised to see him. i also met Zoe and Rebecca Thomason. And the 2 Fitness First instructors who gave the warm up session. I forgot their names. All of them were doing the Wild. i suddenly found myself wishing that I did the wild too.

When we reached the obstacle course, i was pretty dead. trenches? not as easy as they look. slopes? even tougher. muddy pools of water? fun, but i almost lost a shoe. after the obstacles, Kelvin had this sudden burst of energy. he sprinted towards the finishing line, which i shoved my foot into my shoe and sprinted after him.
pretty darn exhaustedPhoto courtesy of KC
we came in 10th place. which i suppose isn't too bad. we did target top 10. if i'm not wrong, there were over 50 Mixed Mild teams. that makes us the top 20% :)

Trailblazing? gotta love it!