anxiety...

It's gonna be out tomorrow
I feel all squirmy and jittery
I thought i'd have some friends
To go through it with me
But everyone's either at home or somewhere else

It's gonna be out tomorrow
I'm afraid of what I might see
I thought I'd have someone
To stay up and chat with me
But somehow people can actually sleep tonight

It's gonna be out tomorrow
I'm scared that I might cry
I can feel the pressure arising
How do I not aim so high?
I can't possibly beat my brother's results

It's gonna be out tomorrow
I'm having an aching head
Time to retire and await tomorrow
In the comfort of my bed
Good night....*yawn*

What was I thinking?

I wrote this poem in class that day. Was feeling a bit down. but since my IE wasn't working again, i only get to post it now....

Wondering about what i said
Thinking if I could've been better
I've always thought i had it in me
Guess i could not have been any prouder

Hearing words and whispers around
Seeing posters up on the wall
With the heat all over the place
Brings me back to the time at the hall

I thought I gave it all some thought
I didn't just blurt out everything
I remember planning and preparing my answers
But only now has it got me thinking

Looking back I just realised
That I didn't say it accidentally
But neither did i say it on purpose
So what was I thinking actually?

When changes take place

Goodness...IE really was going on some sort of boycot against me in the past few days. oh well, at least we're now on good terms again. =) anyway, this isn't gonna be a sad poem...just something i've been pondering on...

If something extra have been added
Something else will be taken away
When someone new I get to meet
Someone I knew takes a new way

I happen to wonder about life
And how it carries out its cycle
And i got to know that since i arrived
Everything has a certain sequel

I've always been ahead in some things
And I have thought I always would
But now a certain change in life brings
Someone to do the things i could

I know i'm being a little selfish
But it'll take me time to get used to it
You're gonna come back all tough and strongish
And everything's gonna change, every bit

Everyone already loved you before
With your angel-like smile and eyes
Now they'll love you even more
When you come back with a big surprise

You're gonna be the perfect one
Looks, skill, and even the brains
Call me jealous, but I can't run
Before you conclude, let me explain

I depended on my "tough-girl" personality
Since looks were definitely out of question
It would have been my specific specialty
So at least, I got some attention

I know i sound very childish right now
But I can't help but feel this way
They're gonna like you better somehow
And I'll probably have no say....

ok...call me sad....but just to let you know this is how i feel. I've always thought that i had to prove myself in some way or another since i'm not exactly Miss universe. Guys really do look at looks, whether you agree with me or not. And I have long been trying to see if someone was gonna like me for me. guess it takes a little more just to turn a few heads huh? oh well...once again, this is not a sad poem. Just something i've always pondered upon...

Something's missing

I picked up the phone again today
Just about to dial your number
Almost forgetting that you're away
And I am left a little emptier

I feel as though something's missing
It's the fact that u're not there
I can feel that something's missing
Whenever I need someone to care

I guess I'll have to wait 3 months
For you to answer my calls in just 2 rings
For you to listen to my crappy ones
When homework, i just don't feel like doing

There's so much I want to tell you
So much a message won't fit it
Please, let time fly through
And I'll be able to tell you bit by bit

There's also so much i'd like to hear
The activities and stuff you're doing
It's only day 3 but right now right here
I already feel that something's missing

Hey...i miss my best friend Julie. Bet there are many out there who does too. Imagine the experience she's going through! I just hope she doesn't change much by the time May 2nd comes. i hope that I don't change much either.

* to Fookie *

I promised fookie a poem...so here's one to him b4 he leaves for NS. haha...but also to the rest that are leaving too. Of course, the main emphasis is on Fookie lor. =)

When the joyful moments in my life
Start to turn itself around
And as they force me to strive
That's when a friend in you i found

When times just didn't seem
To go according to plan
And when i truly wished it was a dream
On you i could depend

But of all the times when i was down
The one that hurt me the most
Was the time he turned me down
The same time u helped me the most

Then there were moments that we shared
Not with tears but laughter
When water splashed and mud smeared
You made the wacky times wackier!

So to you my all-weather friend
I thank you for just being there
Fookie, I'm guessing that you can
Tell that you're beyond compare!

Have fun at NS peeps! Once again i would like to express that i wish i was going! But anyway, you peeps better come home all buffed up! Make sure you'll be bringing me jungle trekking and rafting in the future! *muax*

~ Me, Myself and I ~

Today is Valentine's Day
Can't help but feel a lil' sad
I guess in me there is still
A pain that hurts kinda bad

I know that it's been said out
I know I shouldn't hang on
I know I've got it crystal clear
That this chance i shouldn't rely upon

I guess i have accepted that
He always stay as jus my friend
I do not ask for another chance
It's just the loneliness that has no end

Today i shall have fun
With the friends i love jus as much
I will perform to my heart's content
With love, happiness and such

Today, Valentine's day
I will enjoy, I will try
With my family and friends around
Just me , myself and I

Happy Valentine's Day...

-heavy heart-

Today i left
Dragging my heart away
I felt like i wanted to stay
To spend time with Julie
But i had to leave, unfortunately

Today i felt
Like my heart was so heavy
I think i acted selfishly
I didn't want to talk to him
I just felt like avoiding him

Today I cried
But only on the inside
My pain i needed to hide
You did not show up today
Once again i had no say

Today I found out
There are many couples around
Many are in love i found
And once again i feel loneliness
I feel enveloped in sadness

The party was fun ju...it was...just that he didn't show.
And i think i owe P an apology. I jus hope that i didn't lead him on to anything.

There's no other...

It's the way you think of others
And always have them in mind
The way you care for friends and family
The way you're always so kind
That makes you a tad better...

It's the way you never boast
Or the fact that you're not egoistic
It's the way you're always humble
It's just that certain characteristic
That makes you shine a tad brighter...

It's the way you know what's right
And keeps in mind what's important
The way you do not stray easily
Or succumb to outer distraction
That makes you a bit nicer...

It's the way you know your limits
And stay behind the line
The way you motivate yourself
With the right frame of mind
That makes liking you easier...

It's the way I feel a certain something
Whenever you're with me
And the fact that I still feel this way
After you said no to me...gently....
That makes you like no other...

Now i know why I had problems
Deciding which step to take
Because i knew that it is I myself
That i certainly cannot fake

I knew that I would never like him
As much as i like you
Eventhough i tried to make it work
But there's nothing i can do

Because in my mind i refuse to erase
The thought i've build up for so long
You are the best I've ever found
That nothing ever seemed wrong

I refuse to let go of what I feel
And now it's even stronger
I'm pretty sure that I'm right
You're just like no other...

sigh...i feel sad right now...feel sad about moments that was...moments that wasn't....moments that should have....moments that should not have...today i just feel sad....

V-day...just isn't my day

Advertisements broadcasted on the radio
Speek of free gifts and flowers
Promotional V-day packs
Specially for romantic lovers

Movies being played on TV
Each one bearing a romantic theme
He leans over and whisper sweet nothings
And she declares her love for him

V-day functions all over the papers
Inviting people from near and far
"Bring along that special someone
To a romantic night under the stars"

I guess it's just not one of the days
That I look forward to with a smile
I sigh each day it draws closer
And often think about it for a while

I guess I shouldn't complain at all
Because in love, i really have no say
But it saddens me to think about it
That Valentine's Day just isn't my day...

haha...started la my emo-ness. =) so sue me! but it's true...i think it has been this way every year since...i knew the true meaning of V-day. haha...oh well, at least i would be preoccupied that day with my own programme. =)

wRoK!!

The school of rock rocks!! makes me feel like i should follow my dreams too...Dare to dream!! haha...oh well....we'll see how life goes for me...=)

I often walk along the path of regret
Especially when it comes to what i say
I think sometimes I just don't think
Before i say things my way

I often journey back in life
Only to find out that all i have done
May seem to be a big deal then
But now the importance, there's none

I often choose the road of hatred
And this is the worst path of all
For many things are affected by this
My friendship, family, all start to fall

I often wonder what I will do
If i had met someone like me
Will I think of myself as highly as
The people that i see

haha u guys are probably wondering what i did to write such a deep and abstract poem. truth is i dunno myself. the word are free flow. But what i can say is i wonder abt a loooooot of things. and these are a few la. makes me sad sometimes, that i can't undo what i did. i know i have done a lot of stuff that i really didn't mean to do. =)

It's a Beautiful Day~!

I feel so happy for Kurt Nilsen! Dunno why. Probably coz after the way judge Simon Cowell bang him until like that...he SO deserved to win! haha he has the greatest voice!! The hobbit triumphs!

After all the worries I put myself through
After all the fear of unwanted changes
Our friendship bond still stayed true
And it WILL stay that way for ages

It's a beautiful day....

In college I have fun with my new friends
We're slowly becoming closer
Whether or not it'll stay, depends
But why worry about the future?

It's a beautiful day....

At the same time, i still have fun
Hanging out with the ol' time buddies
When we're together we're ONE
We laugh so much there's no time for worries!

It's a beautiful day...

Tomorrow would be another day
That I catch up on some of you
What lies tomorrow, i would say
Would be somewhat fun and memorable too

So you see,
It was a beautiful day
It still is a beautiful day
It will be a beautiful day
And that's the way it's gonna stay
All through the way!!