* strange encounter *

I think I should be more careful of the people i meet in future. 2 random encounters have landed me in tight spots. I think sometimes i trust too easily. Could be possible that I was on the verge of being desperate at one point. I really don't mind admitting that. loneliness does strange things to u...I have now learned not to let my guard down that easily. The good news is, i would probably trust ppl less easily, therefore sparing myself from more strange encounters. The bad news would be, that i have formed a superficial shell around me that may harden me from the world. This has happened to me before. I found it hard to trust, therefore hard to love as well. I had my little crushes, but none were deep enough for me to commit. Broke a few hearts during that period, which lunged me into a deeper fear of commitment. Guilt tastes more bitter than rejection. That's what I realised.

Anyway, someone called me today on my handphone. The first thing he said was "guess who I am?". I personally hate this question. If it was from a close friend I don't mind it. But if it's from an unfamiliar voice, I hate it. Gives me the creeps. Anyway, the hints he gave were sufficient and I found out who he was. He happened to be a cyber friend of my friend's (note: not mine). He just called to ask how i was and all. Proposed to meet up sometime too. I was freaking out. He had been trying to go out with me since the time i met him, which was, according to him, 6 years ago. Yup. I'm not sure how old he is but not less than 5 yrs older. He had been begging my friend for my contacts since then. I think i recently gave him my hp thru friendster. Don't ask why. The conversation was casual, though I was freaking out. Anyway, we didn't make any specific plans to meet and so on, but he was sure that we would one day. I just hope i can come up with a good excuse when that day comes...

yup...that's it. Not very strange to some of u, but i'm not a meet-and-date kinda girl. So it is strange to me. I have not seen this fella since form 2 i think. And he claims he updates himself about me thru Friendster. Creepo.

i do not know when exactly
that i'd see myself hand in hand
with someone meant for me
on someone that i can depend

i do not know how exactly
that i'm gonna find myself one
a person who'll love me for me
just by being with me, we'll have fun

i do not know why exactly
that finding the perfect person seem so hard
that the list would go on endlessly
before, as the one, i would regard

all i know is when that happens
at that moment in time exactly
when the warmth in my heart deepens
i know i will be ready...

* personal thoughts *

Class trip planned on the 14th of January 2005. It's in Genting. Should be real cool. =) What's even cooler is on the 16th, i'll be going for this. Now my only prob is...what happens in between the 2 events. =)

Spent the whole day sleeping or lying down. Ate only watery porridge. Gawd, if it weren't for the fact that I lose weight in the process, I swear food poisoning is by far the worst illness one can go through. Felt weak in the knees, and tipsy in the head all day. I seriously need to get back in shape if i wanna do reasonably well for the Trailblazer.

Got some update about a friend. A relationship just ended. Puts me in thought i would say. Relationships are hard to keep, aren't they? Good, long lasting ones are hard to find. But yet, many are started within a blink of an eye. Makes me wonder if the word love has its value anymore. May seem like a small issue now, but in the longrun, won't divorce rates increase even further than they do now? Think the phrase "till death do us part" would have to be editted to "till divorce do us part". Sad really...

[ a series of unfortunate events ]

before i begin, here are the links for the pics:

mid valley gathering

outward bound school

now for my story. at this very moment, i'm supposed to be in a car to Singapore. Reason I'm not is coz i had a sleepless night, purging and puking. And i couldn't even enjoy last night's family dinner coz i was sick inside out! Uhuh...i'm jinxed. First i lost my voice, then some bug bit my arm, then i sprainked my ankle, and now a bad tummy. I have always known to be an accident prone but this is the worst that i've ever gone through! Oh well, least i don't have to worry about maintaining my size after OBS. haha after all the puking, I think i grew even thinner still!

my ankle's much much better. Think i'll resume training in a couple days time. My voice is about 85% back. still can't hit high notes though...=)...and my arm...well believe me when i say this is when it's much better:

it's less swollen already. Though i must say, i think the medicine's stopped working. Pass (spelling?) started to form thie morning. So i dunno...hopefully it gets ok soon.

think that's about all my unwell mind can offer. My poetic brain cells seem to be disfunctional at this moment...=) will start being poetic again once i'm well. =)

[ war torn ]

check this out:

my left arm and my left ankle

My cousin said i looked like some war casualty. Another cousin teased that my parents could be held for abusive nature. haha...the bandage on my arm was caused by a bug bite during OBS. I earlier thought it was a pimple but then it started swelling. I'm unable to bend and stretch my arm fully coz the wound is directly on the other side of my elbow, (the fold of my arm). So i went to see a doctor coz my dad was saying that there may be eggs hatching inside! eeeiw....thank God it was nothing of that sort, but rather some poison/toxin that's injected by the bug.

My ankle has a rather humourous story to it, though. I got it by spraining my ankle during gim class on Friday night. Mrs Khaw was saying i survived 2 weeks in OB unharmed, but somehow managed to get myself hurt within an hour of gim class. Plus, i've been in the sport for over 8 years and i've never sprained my ankle! so anyway, there was a pretty loud crack to it. But somehow after a while it didn't hurt so much anymore. I could still carry on with the exception of the toe-breaker. At night, it started to swell a little, but walking was still easily done with minimal pain. The next morning, as i was getting out of bed to switch off my hp alarm, my right leg (better leg) gave way just as i stepped out of bed with it! I have no idea what happened, how it happened, why it happened. It was just lifeless at that moment and i collapsed into a heap on the floor, re-spraining my left ankle. I would've laughed at the thought of it all, if it weren't for the excruciating pain i was feeling. Within 30 minutes of that incident, my ankle swelled up so much i had no ankle left. I had difficulty walking, and my korkor had labelled me physically disabled. haha...so i limped around throughout the day till about 7 pm, my uncle decided to bring me to a tit tah yi sang (tabib cina). Gawd, i couldn't bear to watch him twist n turn my ankle around as though i was born boneless. And the pain!!! It was soooo painful i had my teeth clenched and fists gripped throughout that 40 minute session! But after that, i feel much better. I can walk with more ease now, though the painful sensation still strikes once in a while if i were to hit a precarious angle.

Now i'm off to bed. I need to prop my foot up so as to not let gawd knows what fluid coagulate at my ankle. Hopefully it gets better by monday...going out with OB peeps again! =) Nite!

* everybody dance now! *

I'm back from OB! hehe i actually got home yesterday...but 2 weeks of non-stop adventure drained every ounce of energy i had in me so, the post's a bit delayed hehe...I had loads of fun...as expected....=) I actually had this dream about the CAs last night. Problem is the only 2 people i could remember from it was Poh Leng and Mel. hehe...oops...let's not get into details now, shall we? hehe...the 2 week experience was, needless to say, indescribable via words. So to cut the story short, click here. Right now, pictures speak louder than words, anytime. =)


from time to time in life
our hearts are trodden upon
but among the footprints that cross our paths
only the true ones would stay on

from time to time in life
people put marks by impressions
some may seem true and sincere
but only to manipulate our decisions

from time to time in life
crossroads are very often met
especially in friendships that we hold dearly
time limits how close we can actually get

from time to time in life
we ponder and ponder again
as we say sad goodbyes to new found friends
why do we meet, when forever lies in vain?

from time to time in life
we cherish moments and hold them in our hearts
though we know it's painful, we keep on meeting
only to split and take on different parts

from time to time in life
these farewells remind us well
it gives a sense of appreciation
of friendship, that we'd never been able to tell

from time to time in life
we share great times with those we love
leaving sinking feelings when we part
as arranged by the heavens above...


awww....*sniff sniff*...hehe hope u like this....oh and here's wishing everyone:



=) Happy Holidays!

* anyway *

Mummy's back from Sabah! She got me loads of beaded necklaces and ice cream potongs. Missed her while she was gone...but then again, if she had known what i did during the sleepover, she probably would've grounded me for life. =) I have been spending the past few days watching every movie there is either at the cinema or on DVD. Good shows though...good shows...=) I recommend Stepford Wives, Paycheck, Minority Report, Ella Enchanted, Incredibles. I do not recommend Alexander and Polar Express. Some of them are pretty old movies but they're not-to-be-missed shows. Seriously...=) And i've been watching with my bros...basically going everywhere and doing everythign with my bros for the past few days. I have a feeling, when my KorKor leaves for Aus again next year, i'm gonna feel it this time.

Mummy brought this for me. She got it from one of the schools she went to see in Sabah. Apparently some really good school which recycles everything, is 100% clean, has zero waste bins, and is admired even by schools in Japan. The principal of the school said she was inspired by this:


* a n y w a y *

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered,
Love them anyway.
If you are kind, people accuse you of selfish motives,
Be kind anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow,
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable,
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight,
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you help them,
Help peole anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth,
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final episode, it is between you and God,
it was never, never between you and them anyway.

- author unknown


cool huh? May sound pretty simple and all, but apply it anyway. =) I'm going to OBS tomorrow! Finally! I won't be back till 23rd! So no blogging for a while huh? haha...will miss you all! Enjoy your hols!

Julie: will miss you! Thanks for helping me check my results, and getting me jack jack! see you ojn the 23rd!
Shirlyn: enjoy yourself in Japan gurl! January 8th will come very very soon! Have fun and time will fly! see you in 2005!
Kim hooi: Read from Ju's blog it's your birthday! So Happy Birthday Kim Hooi!!!
Rosie: pls pls pls email me those pics? thanks a lot gurl! see ya soon! oh and enjoy gim! haha...
Everybody else: I'll be back on the 23rd! Don't wait up! haha...=)