more poems

Just written 2 more poems for my cousins. She liked the first one but she said she never had such dreams. hehe...my dreams?? maybe...

anyway, the persona is more neutral for this one. Could either be from him to her or vice versa. Enjoy. =)


Hold my hands and I'm yours

For all the times we've been together
For how I feel when my spirit soars
I'm there for you every moment of it
Just hold my hands and I'm yours

For all the tears that were shed
For all the roads that wasn't too even
For all the mistakes that were made in the past
Just hug me tight and you're forgiven

For all the things that are yet to unfold
For the entire journey of perfection and flaws
We'll travel it together hand-in-hand
Just say "I Do" and I'm yours

This I promise you

No bright sunshine throughout the year
No blooming flowers everyday, I fear

No sweet juicy apples every time you bite
No working days that is always light

No smiles and cheer every single day
No shortcuts through life, no easier way

Just warmth and kindness that I will offer
Just my fondness of you that would grow deeper

Just safety and security as we grow old
Just gentle, soft words, never too bold

Just my love and my heart that I guarantee is true
Now, this I promise you

Poem for the wedding

my cousin asked me to write a poem to be placed on the wedding invitation card. i cracked and squeezed my head and this was the best i could come up with at this time of the night.

As a girl I used to dream
Of snowy white dresses lined with lace
Of crystal white ribbons from chairs they stream
Of elegant ballrooms that becomes the place

Of eight course meals which arouse and delight
Of silky soft table clothes on which they dine
Of a romantic ambience which caresses the night
Of diamonds and pearls which glimmer and shine

And...
Of the one who would sweep me off my feet
Steal my heart and take my breath away
The one whom I've always dreamt to meet
To stand by me day after day

The one who loves me for days on end
Who treats me with kindness and respect
The one on whom I can always depend
Who, in my eyes, would be perfect

It's been years since I had those dreams
I grew up and along came you
And it struck me then, it seems
That dreams do come true

p.s: i do take constructive criticism. thank you.

let me know

i started jogging at about 6.45 pm. a little late because it was burning hot...as if the sun forgot to set. i drove to the lake at 6.35 pm but it started to drizzle. I made my way back home only to find out that there wasnt a drop of rain at home. so i parked my car and set off around the neighbourhood.

i was keeping a slow pace, for fear i might burn out. slow and steady i hit the uphill slope. i chugged up keeping a steady pace. upon reaching a certain row, i tend to slow down. i tend to cast a glance sideways. i don't really know what i'm looking for. i don't even know if i want to see what i'm looking for.

and from that point onwards, i could almost forget i was jogging. my mind would be preoccupied with other stuff. is he home? has he gone out? when's he coming back? when's he going back? stuffs like that. and themore i wondered the more i thought. round and round the park i go. until i decide to go back down. someone calls my name. i looked up with a mixture of hope and fear. only to see someone else. smiled and waved.

all the way down, i would still be thinking. how has his day been? how has she been? how has everything been? until i come to that same point. that same row of houses. i would cast a sideways glance...and see that he isn't there.

back to earth. i know what you're thinking. yes, i have moved on. but you're still a friend right?

and i have been wondering. so if you're reading this let me know how you've been. it's been ages since i've spoken to you.

it's back to work tomorrow. I couldnt be happier. the holidays have been boring me sick! i need something to do. or i'll turn into that mushy-head-love-sick thing.

running blues

i've been hearing loud pak and thud and eeeee-booom outside. Today's chui kau which means the 9th day of chinese new year. For the hokkiens...today's like a super auspicious day. Betcha dont know the story to it. My mum told it to me yesterday. I must be the most dense Hokkien in history. hehe....apparently, the hokkiens and the cantonese used to be at war at one point. and the war was during CNY. The hokkiens hid in sugar cane plantations during the period. it was not only till the 9th day that they finally came out from the plantation. Thus, for most Hokkiens, the celebration of the 9th day is far bigger than the 1st day. and sugar canes are a must during this day.

hehe...just a little ancient chinese history to enlighten u guys. =)

anyway, continuing the last post...Melly's right. i couldn't have explained it any better.

on another note, i'm slowly returning to my former running form. i no longer feel extremely breathless when running around the lake. i was able to do a good 4 rounds without stopping. and my timing has improved a bit. feeling much happier.

yes...i plunged from a 6.5 minute a round to an 8 minute a round timing. and the fact that Keith was getting faster and faster flustered me even more. i won't deny it. i'm jealous. running was supposed to be my sport and swimming was his. he can very excel in swimming and leave the runs to me, that's what i thought. but now he's slowly conquering the running arena and i felt pushed aside as he gets showered with praises and compliments from mum, dad and big brother. i almost thought of giving up running. it puzzled me to think of how, my performance could deteriorate so much.

but i did a 7.5 minute a round today and that gave a spark of confidence back in me. it's still not the best, but i'm determined to whip myself back into shape, if not better. especially since my dad has no faith that i can do so.

watch me.

smses

yesterday i accidentally deleted one sms that had been stored in my sim for ages. i was clearing my inbox and i deleted it by mistake. i almost panicked. and then i thought...what for?

i have about 6 smses in my phone which i have had since....2002?? yea somewhere there. 4 are from someone very special. and eventhough those 4 smses bore bad news, i kept them because i could never bring myself to delete them. another 2 more was from a very close friend of mine. well, at least he was then. now we seem to have drifted apart. he sent those smses during his NS. i could never delete those as well coz they meant a lot...

so when i deleted one of the 4 by mistake i went into a panick state. moreover those 4 smses were continuous. and i deleted the last. i blinked, went to Delete All and pressed yes. i did it without a second thought.

there's no way i was going to have a second chance at being with him. and even if i did, i probably didn't want to. there were too much of a difference between us.

and as it is, i was no longer close to the other friend. even now, when we're in the same college. something changed.

i don't know if i hung on to those smses just for memory's sake or for hope. Hope that time will take a turn and things will go back to how it was then. but the more i thought, the more i realised that even if it did go back to the way it was, it would've still turned out this way.

What Ifs don't work. Things happened for a reason.

thoughts

Eventhough much of my Chinese New Year spirit has been dampened by my grandma's passing, what's left of my spirits were robbed away by the fact that big bro's not with us this new year as well, and that the crowd in Raub was halved. One of my aunts decided to go back much much later so that took away one family.

CNY this year for me was nothing like the dong-dong-dong-dong-chiang i had in recent years. Fire crackers were very very strictly prohibited this time (not like they weren't last time) so not much of it were heard. Relatives that come in and out of the house speak of the same thing over and over. It just didnt seem the same.

But my grandma would have wanted me to have fun. So i was determined to. The spontaneous Fraser's Hill trip that my family planned after Raub was a good one. Nature at its best, i'd say. Met a lot of "forest friends" too. It was so cool.

The RSG get-together rocked. Sleeping over at Gene's, talking the night away. I grow to understand them and myself so much better each time we have one of these girls night outs. and it leaves that knowing sense in me.

my mind's been rather scattered lately. bits and pieces of my family, my friends, college, all seem to just float around. and there will be times when i would just fall into utter loneliness. i have great friends to talk to but i just dont have to mood to tell them anything. simply because i dont know what the problem is. i've gone back to wishing i have someone. moving on has relieved me from pining for him. but it has also emptied that spot in my mind.

i noticed, losing my grandma has made me very thoughtful.