Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Am I stupid or something?

Ok, so, I just got my Medsci205 Mid Term results back, and GUESS WHAT?

I failed it. Again. In fact, I think even worse than I did last year.

I'm starting to think maybe I'm a little stupider than I actually think of myself. Which is kinda sad because I've always had pretty good self esteem. It's insane. I've never done so badly in a subject before. I'm not that dumb, I don't think. I have brains that may not work 100% all the time, but I think it's safe to say that I've always been a higher than average student. I don't score straight As, but I do get them here and there. I understand things, I learn quick, and I'm really NOT a dimbo. I think I do have a scientific brain or else I wouldn't have gotten the results I've gotten in all my Sportsci subjects and through my BCom and through school. I'm NOT STUPID!

So why is it that this pathetic Stage 2 Medical Science subject seem to render me completely baffled, numbstruck, beaten to a pulp, outright stupid? I really do not get it. What is it about my brains that just doesn't seem to want to LEARN ANYTHING from this course?

Mental block? Perhaps. But even my mental blocks do not make me fail things. I do pass things. In all my years of bitching about Sejarah (History), and Geography, Biology, and Management 100, and Chemistry, I don't fail them. I always manage to scrape through.

But this, this leaves me defeated. And I don't like feeling defeated.

There's still a chance for me I guess. Lab reports and final exams. I could still pass this.

But really, God, please help me. I've never really prayed much in my life, and I am truly sorry I don't always believe in religion, but grant me the spirit and drive to just get through this paper so I can get my degree, please. I promise I'll do more charity, and reach out more to family and friends. I promise I will put this degree to the best use anyone possibly can. I have a vision, please help me get there.

3 comments:

Grace-Melody Moo said...

will pray for ya :)

K3vski said...

A bit of a setback, but don't worry. Just means you have to put in more effort for the remaining assessments. Keep focused, stay positive, you'll get there.

Anonymous said...

Karen, you'll get through, don't worry yourself too much. Hope your place is not affected by the tornado. CHeers, Geraldine