Thursday, May 26, 2011

Be humble

One of the things my parents placed a lot of emphasis on as we were growing up was to be humble. Never show off things you've got or you are capable of doing. Never brag. But at the same time, they always encouraged us to go out and shine! They encouraged us to pursue the things we wanted to pursue, and supported us all the way.

So in a way I always feel like my parents raised me as a superhero. A vigilante who goes out to "save the world" but then always hides behind the face of just another person amidst the crowd. I mean, I'm proud of how they've raised me, and I'm proud of how far I've come. I know that I've been given plenty of opportunity to experience and achieve the things I have today. But I will always try to be humble about it, and not let it get to my head too much. I will always look at myself from an outsider's point of view, and find plenty of room for improvement.

Which is why when people compliment me, I feel elated. Because that is what I've earned. That is not self praise, nor is it being smug. Praise and compliments from other people always make me extremely happy, and game to do even better the next time.

Not too long ago, I received an e-mail from a friend. I am not particularly close to her, but I've hung out with her a couple of times here in Auckland. She's very cool and I have high regard for her because she has a strong personality and is a dream chaser. Her e-mail came to me as a total surprise because I've not had any communication with her in a while. In her e-mail she wrote that she just wanted to let me know she thought I have plenty of potential. She said I had the right personality and physique for the entertainment industry and if I were keen on it she could hook me up with her networks. She said she thought I was a hard worker and she thinks I could go far.

Reading something like that out of the blue and from someone whom I respect, really made me feel pretty good about myself. It was honest and sincere, because I know she is honest and sincere, and I don't really know what to say except that I was very touched by her note.

And I guess I'm blogging about it only now because today I'm feeling kinda...meh. And I needed a picker upper. I've not been doing so well with the Medsci Lab Reports, when I thought I've been doing ok. The markers this year seem to mark even more strictly than they did last year, which is a bit annoying, because I handed in pretty much the same report, just with adjustments and improvements, but I got marked down instead! Annoyed. =\

I feel a bitterness rising inside with anything that has to do with Medsci. I know it's not good, but I just have so much hatred towards this paper. I don't like it, I don't want to like it, and I will never like it. But I have to take it. And I have to pass it.

I fear this coming final exams. I have never feared exams, but I fear this one. It is the one thing standing in my way of obtaining my Bachelors in Sport and Exercise Science. Without Medsci 205, my life would be a whole lot easier. This last semester was supposed to be doable, it was supposed to be me just finishing up and getting my degree. If it had been just me and my 3 Sportsci papers and 1 Math paper, my last few months in NZ would be bliss.

But looks like someone up there doesn't want my life to be a bed of roses just yet. Someone really wants me to prove how tough I can actually be. Grr..I hope that someone is happy that I'm getting sleepless nights because of Medsci.

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