I just got home from a friend's place. Got home a little bit earlier because I wanted to sleep a little bit earlier for Bootcamp tomorrow.
But I guess the silence got the better of me again.
It's Christmas Day. I started to send a message to a few friends online and they were all either away, on Skype with a boyfriend/girlfriend or waiting for their boyfriend/girlfriend to come home.
It sucks. I know I know, I should stop emoing. But it sucks.
I guess at some point I will get used to the idea of spending these special holidays on my own. As in, I could spend it with friends, but when they all go home, or leave with their significant others, I'm back to being alone again.
I think I'm just being jealous. I am jealous of the people out there who have boyfriends and girlfriends and fiancés. It's as simple as that. I am saddened by the fact that I came home to misery and emptiness. Yes I have friends, yes I have my family. But there is a void that remains unfilled so long as I yearned to be with him.
I still feel a little cheated...a little ripped off. I was looking forward to summer. I was looking forward to being held, to holding hands, to cuddles, to kisses, to road trips, to dates, to text messages and to late night phone calls. I was looking forward to a reunion. I still haven't quite accepted the fact that all of that is gone.
Oh well. Merry Christmas anyway. Hope you all have a much brighter one than I did.
1 comment:
Doing a little changes do no harm,
Indeed,looking forward was hard,
Looking back was painful and accepting the fact even more painful,
but prolong your situation is even more painful for yourself .
We learn thru our life with ups and downs ,
There's always someone willing to share ur sorrow,
but if only u willing to open ur heart and mind to everyone.They will guide you and love you as much as you love 'em.
Making a little changes in life ,would give u a whole new journey in life.Learn to b strong .
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