And I've had people sharing comforting words with me, saying it can only get better, you'll find friends eventually, you just need to settle down. And words of advice like join a society/club, go out more, pick up an activity. All very thoughtful and rational advice. And I've tried, trust me I've tried.
I had a long walk home today from my first Run Auckland race, and I started thinking. How is it that my preconception of a student's life abroad in a big fancy campus and a whole foreign land of opportunities turn out to be so skewed from what I am actually experiencing? Where are the endless fun and laughter that are supposed to go on in a house of students? Where are the numerous road trips touring the land? Where are the games, and activities, and pranks, and just silly nonsensical events that occur with students?
And so I kept on thinking. Friends - i guess is the determining factor. Without friends to do things with, life here drags on day by day like an endless to do list, like chores to be checked off. Because on campus accomodation is way too expensive I chose to stay out on my own. I believe on campus would be quite fun for the first year but that's too late now. And I'd love to stay in a big house with many other tenants but I kinda blew my chance with that one because I wanted to save on empty rent. Didn't want to pay while I was away. So, lesson learn, we make do. Do I have my own friends? Yes I do. Do we hang out? Sometimes. But lunching out incurs money. So take it indoors. Do I initiate? I always do.
This semester, with the arrival of Navin, it seems to be a bit easier to have friends to call. I never got around to doing it last semester, but just yesterday I gathered my lovely SJians for lunch in the city. It was great! So I've got a group now. A group of people I can call out quite easily if I wanted to. And if I wanted to save, if i wanted to take it indoors, the first thing I got to do is to rent a place of my own. A place where I can cook whatever I want, and call these peeps over and have them stay on till late in the night, with booze or a DVD or a pool table or whatever. There is nothing wrong with staying with the Cheahs. In fact I am the envy of a lot of people because of the luxurious home cooked food I get every day. And the care of a mom, watching over me while I am sick. It's really nice and comforting. But I left home to live a different life. To learn. To see. To do.
Yup, first plan of action. Move out..
but unless i find another 5-6 bedroom house with many tenants, I'm just not sure if I am willing to let go of the company I have here with the Cheahs. Because I dont think I can live alone again...
***
Run Auckland was a fun event. I found it a lot easier to run than Round the bays actually despite it being 10 km. But for some reason my timing was a lot slower - 59:01 for 10.15 km. Maybe it's because I haven't been well. And maybe it's because I haven't been training. And maybe it's the hills. But whatever the reason it was a good hour's worth of exercise. Had a good time. =)Till the next race on the 19th! =)