Saturday, June 28, 2008

Saying Goodbye: Round 1

i guess what clouds my mind these days is how to say goodbye. i believe everyone who leaves their home to further their studies, or for a job or even to emigrate for that matter goes through the turmoil of emotions i go through everyday now.

the excitement and thrill, growing and expanding, just waiting to burst the seams. so many new things to see, new people to meet, new fun to experience. its greater than walking out of the final exam paper knowing that you're done with exams. even greater than unfurling the script which has your name in big bold letters above a degree certification. and far far greater than landing your first job.

and i say this simply because, while others go through what i'm go through before all of the above, i am fortunate enough to experience this AFTER all that. And with hopes to experience all that again for a second time 3 years from now.

and yet there is a conscious knowing that an obscene amount of cash has been swallowed up just like that. just so i can have this chance to pursue something i think know i will make it in life with. a decision made based solely on dreams, visions, imaginations and hope. i don't even know if i am cut out for this degree, or if it will propel me forward for sure in future. all i have is complete faith right now.

and the heaviness of having to wave goodbye to family and friends. no doubt i'm home in december. it'll be barely 5 months. but 5 months is a million and one opportunities for things to go wrong. then again, it's a million and two oppoetunities for me to live the time of my life also la...hahaha...

u see where i'm getting at? i'm a wreck of mixed feelings.

anyway, yesterday was the last day of my job in Cosmotots. And i've said my little goodbyes to my colleagues and to my beloved little rascals. And you know what? i really really miss them. To bits! i even dreamt of them last night. almost every one of them. I can recite their names and what days i see them. I know their little antics and their soft spots. All in 6 weeks! Kids aren't hard to read at all. in fact, it is their transparency that makes them so pure, so unbiased. Kids never lie. They pull fast ones occasionally but all in the name of a good laugh. They bear no malice and they're just the sweetest little things ever. I miss them so much...

on other stuff, i watched Beauty And The Beast the musical. it was a whopping RM129.50 for me, but it was pretty worth it. Wasn't the best I've seen, but Disney and its characters have their way of penetrating through to my heart. I left the theatre singing and bobbing my head all the way home. I loved it...i think its cool to be in a musical. No wonder Yuh Huey's life is like a fairytale to all of us...

I'm even more determined to make my happily ever after now. Not in terms of meeting Mr Right and marrying him. More so in the context of making it in life.

I'll get there! Watch me!

8 comments:

Obi-Kwan Kenobi said...

Where u flying to?

galnexdor said...

auckland! =)

valeriechuan said...

heheh i experienced that mixed emotions of yours before too..wasn sure if i m right for this or not...stuffs like that...then i told myself ok target 3 yrs...see how it goes..if i do survive this 3 yrs..the nxt 3 yrs will be no problem.. smooth sailing for me..

which of course during that first 3 yrs was *ahem...not easy..lots of obstacles...depression bla bla * i dont need to elaborate this part..hehe

i think, having a passion in what you wanna do is the most important thing!without passion...everything you do will somehow be like someone forcing you or something..

neah that wouldn be nice right?

anyway dont worry or think too much....treat it as a whole new adventure and another new chapter in your life! =)

also those working ppl use to tell me " enjoy your student life while you can!"..haha..

Tisha said...

Darling Karen!!

I soooo get what you mean.Email me your add in Auckland when your free k?!I got tht prezzie of yours to post xp


ps.Plus I'll mkit a point to come visit!!

le_runner said...

hey karen,
hope to see ya in singapore this december just in time for marathon? ...and enjoy yourself while in auckland? take care. =D

Obi-Kwan Kenobi said...

Aww... tot fly to UK.
Haha, NZ is cool too. Was there for 1.5 years when i was little. Windy Wellington all the way!!! :)

neeza said...

hey babe, gud luck in auckland..

Jackie Voon said...

bwai bwai kawen..*sobsS*...
hehehe...
Don't worry yea! 5 months will pass so soon...won't be saying bye bye....Guess, saying "see you soon!" would have a more positive feeling...
Have fun there!
Go visit "Mount Doom"!(whichever part of NZ that was filmed at...)