Things are moving pretty quickly for me, career wise. I've been working full time just over a year and in that short period of time I've managed to get myself into many MANY things. It's quite a thrill, mainly because I have envisioned all of this for myself, but living it makes it feel all the more extravagant.
But yet I seem to doubt myself quite often. "Can I?" is something I find myself asking over and over again, even when I have made a promise to myself to always take that leap of faith because doing so has granted me so much in the past. I am a leaper. I leap. Always have been, always will be (hopefully). I sometimes think Disney has ruined me, making me a dreamer, an idealist. I live for fairytale, dreams come true, and happily ever afters. But because society in real life as I've come to know, is quite the opposite, so while I have these vivid visions of my future, I still wonder "Can I?".
On a separate note, I realised that, evident from this blog, I think about my career a LOT. If it's not this, than it's about love & marriage, but still, most of the time I think about my career and where I am heading. I don't know if people still enjoy reading this blog, or has it become quite boring. Meh.
Monday, September 03, 2012
Thursday, August 09, 2012
Of proposals and weddings
No, not mine. Everybody else's. (wah sound so bitter).
I've been surrounded with news of engagements and tying the knots and gorgeous wedding dresses and locations for wedding shoots and so on. It really touches the heart seeing everyone finding true love and meeting their soulmate and all. I mean, as you already know, I'm a big, fat, hopelessly romantic goon who believe in the sanctity of "till death do us part", and having that one person made for you for eternity. (Now I hope Gary doesn't read this because he may get scared off).
Recently I've been hearing of engagements and weddings of people that I used to know quite well. People who were "friend-in-laws" in my ex relationship. And although that is done and dusted, and I've found myself someone truly worth loving, I can't help but feel slightly nudged in the ribs whenever I see news of these people tying the knot. I guess it just kind of reminds me that at one point in time, not too long ago, we were probably all hanging out at a kopitiam or a mamak together, some of them single at that point, some of them just found each other, and I was with the ex at that time and it just all seem so...I don't know...surreal, now that I have tried so hard to bury that past behind me. All these news just kinda bring up some old memories again.
The fact that I'm 26 and not getting any younger, and that one of my best friends is getting married in March next year, and that I've like a gazillion wedding invites all year long, just makes me a little antsy about the topic of marriage. I'll be very honest. I do really want to get married. But I also know that I've only been in this current relationship for barely a year, so I don't feel like thinking about whether this is the one right now and all that mumbo jumbo. I mean I love G very much. But for the time being, I just wanna leave it at that. Am I making any sense? I suddenly feel like I am Bridget Jones.
Anyway. The point is, I love it all. The stories, the strategy different guys adopt to propose to their girlfriends, the planning of the wedding, the photoshoot, the wedding dresses, the bridal party. I love weddings. And I eagerly anticipate my turn because I don't care who my husband turns out to be, but my wedding day is gonna be epic. =) Do I sound like I'm going crazy?
I've been surrounded with news of engagements and tying the knots and gorgeous wedding dresses and locations for wedding shoots and so on. It really touches the heart seeing everyone finding true love and meeting their soulmate and all. I mean, as you already know, I'm a big, fat, hopelessly romantic goon who believe in the sanctity of "till death do us part", and having that one person made for you for eternity. (Now I hope Gary doesn't read this because he may get scared off).
Recently I've been hearing of engagements and weddings of people that I used to know quite well. People who were "friend-in-laws" in my ex relationship. And although that is done and dusted, and I've found myself someone truly worth loving, I can't help but feel slightly nudged in the ribs whenever I see news of these people tying the knot. I guess it just kind of reminds me that at one point in time, not too long ago, we were probably all hanging out at a kopitiam or a mamak together, some of them single at that point, some of them just found each other, and I was with the ex at that time and it just all seem so...I don't know...surreal, now that I have tried so hard to bury that past behind me. All these news just kinda bring up some old memories again.
The fact that I'm 26 and not getting any younger, and that one of my best friends is getting married in March next year, and that I've like a gazillion wedding invites all year long, just makes me a little antsy about the topic of marriage. I'll be very honest. I do really want to get married. But I also know that I've only been in this current relationship for barely a year, so I don't feel like thinking about whether this is the one right now and all that mumbo jumbo. I mean I love G very much. But for the time being, I just wanna leave it at that. Am I making any sense? I suddenly feel like I am Bridget Jones.
Anyway. The point is, I love it all. The stories, the strategy different guys adopt to propose to their girlfriends, the planning of the wedding, the photoshoot, the wedding dresses, the bridal party. I love weddings. And I eagerly anticipate my turn because I don't care who my husband turns out to be, but my wedding day is gonna be epic. =) Do I sound like I'm going crazy?
Thursday, July 12, 2012
366 days and a bit
It's been 369 days since I touched down in Malaysia, armed with a new degree and raring to go into life. I can't believe how fast time has flown. I was on BFM today and they asked me a lot of questions like "Why fitness?" and "How did you get here?" as if I have been "here" for so long. And I felt like I had so much to share as well, but at the same time I couldn't help but wonder if my words can really inspire others out there. I mean, who am I but just another 26 year old girl, fresh out in the working world. It's like Justin Bieber and his biographic movie. He's not even been in this world as long as I have, and they make a movie about him? haha...those were my thoughts anyway.
In the one year that I came home for good I have achieved so much that it feels more than just one year. Work has, of course, been the main focus of my life these past 12 months, and it has been an adventure to say the least. I still think I have a very long way to go to be at par with those I have a lot of admiration for. But it's ok, it is a journey I look forward to embarking on. :)
And I've found love. I think I'm really lucky to have found this one because he makes me happy. These past few months with him have been refreshing and inspiring because he truly allows me to be myself around him. Especially at this point of my life, where every day is a journey of self discovery for me, this boy encourages me to speak my mind, talk to him, let him help me work through life's daily obstacles and discover myself a little bit every day and I cannot thank him enough. I hope I can do the same for him. Much love. :)
I guess I realise today during the interview on air that I'm a big girl now. I need to start looking through the eyes of a grown up woman and take things more seriously. In life, in love, in relationships with the people around me.
In the one year that I came home for good I have achieved so much that it feels more than just one year. Work has, of course, been the main focus of my life these past 12 months, and it has been an adventure to say the least. I still think I have a very long way to go to be at par with those I have a lot of admiration for. But it's ok, it is a journey I look forward to embarking on. :)
And I've found love. I think I'm really lucky to have found this one because he makes me happy. These past few months with him have been refreshing and inspiring because he truly allows me to be myself around him. Especially at this point of my life, where every day is a journey of self discovery for me, this boy encourages me to speak my mind, talk to him, let him help me work through life's daily obstacles and discover myself a little bit every day and I cannot thank him enough. I hope I can do the same for him. Much love. :)
I guess I realise today during the interview on air that I'm a big girl now. I need to start looking through the eyes of a grown up woman and take things more seriously. In life, in love, in relationships with the people around me.
Thursday, July 05, 2012
Maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home
Stereophonics...isn't always my cup of tea but it's currently playing on air and it's somewhat suited to what I was going to write about anyway. =)
I think I feel a little unsure of my footing. I feel like my career path is somewhat more accelerated compared to other people's and while some may take a year or two testing the waters and figuring out what they'd like to be, I find that I need to make that decision now, or the soonest possible. Because while I kinda know what I want in life in terms of career, I am distracted by everything else in the market place. Suddenly there is more to the fitness world than what I knew of and I want to learn more and try more and see more. I want so much but I think I need to start homing in onto something in specific and pursue that journey. And if I want to achieve what I plan to achieve as young as possible, I had better get started because I'm not that young any more. Sadly. Meh.
Sometimes I wish I have a more brilliant mind. Like that of people who have made it big. I know there is a lot of sweat and tears poured into what they do, but not every hard working fool can reach such success. It takes a certain amount of brilliance and that much of life is unfair. Because brilliance could be blessed onto some undeserving people with the wrong intentions. While simple, less brilliant minds are inherited by the kindest and most hardworking of people. Not saying myself. While I try to be a good and caring citizen of society I know that I may not exactly the noblest of all.
So yea. I want to kick start my life. But how and what exactly, is the question.
I think I feel a little unsure of my footing. I feel like my career path is somewhat more accelerated compared to other people's and while some may take a year or two testing the waters and figuring out what they'd like to be, I find that I need to make that decision now, or the soonest possible. Because while I kinda know what I want in life in terms of career, I am distracted by everything else in the market place. Suddenly there is more to the fitness world than what I knew of and I want to learn more and try more and see more. I want so much but I think I need to start homing in onto something in specific and pursue that journey. And if I want to achieve what I plan to achieve as young as possible, I had better get started because I'm not that young any more. Sadly. Meh.
Sometimes I wish I have a more brilliant mind. Like that of people who have made it big. I know there is a lot of sweat and tears poured into what they do, but not every hard working fool can reach such success. It takes a certain amount of brilliance and that much of life is unfair. Because brilliance could be blessed onto some undeserving people with the wrong intentions. While simple, less brilliant minds are inherited by the kindest and most hardworking of people. Not saying myself. While I try to be a good and caring citizen of society I know that I may not exactly the noblest of all.
So yea. I want to kick start my life. But how and what exactly, is the question.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Post School Holiday Blues
I never thought I'd have this feeling today, but I guess it is inevitable when I agreed to be a high school teacher. It's the first day back at work after 2 weeks of break from the kiddies and I have to say I'm kinda dreading it. I don't particularly hate working at the school, I just don't particularly love it either. It's fun when I teach maybe 2or 3 classes of kids a day and then go off to do my own thing after that. But to teach 5-8 hours of teenagers with highly fluctuating mood swings in a single day and then going off to do my own thing after that takes a bit of hard work to really enjoy.
I remember this feeling as a kid, the feeling of returning to school after a break and it sucks. The teachers are just about my least favourite human beings during this time, and now as an adult I get to be them. Joy. Really need to rethink my work angle and see where I'd like to focus more of my energy on.
On another note, the upstairs of my parents' home has completely morphed over the school holidays with big thanks to mum and dad and a bit of me. =) We've been lifting and pushing and pulling and mopping, and vacuuming, and wiping everything around the place and it's been quite a feat! But it looks really good now, all ready for my big brother's big day!!
Ok, really need to get myself armoured up in my Nike top and cropped tights and my winning smile to take on those teenagers. Wish me luck!
I remember this feeling as a kid, the feeling of returning to school after a break and it sucks. The teachers are just about my least favourite human beings during this time, and now as an adult I get to be them. Joy. Really need to rethink my work angle and see where I'd like to focus more of my energy on.
On another note, the upstairs of my parents' home has completely morphed over the school holidays with big thanks to mum and dad and a bit of me. =) We've been lifting and pushing and pulling and mopping, and vacuuming, and wiping everything around the place and it's been quite a feat! But it looks really good now, all ready for my big brother's big day!!
Ok, really need to get myself armoured up in my Nike top and cropped tights and my winning smile to take on those teenagers. Wish me luck!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Hello.
My last post was a month ago. And I am surprised that my weekly site meter tells me that I still have about 17 unique followers. So to these 17 unique people, I thank you very much. I will try my best not to let this page die and to continue to provide you loyal people with rantings or depiction of my awesome life. =)
Life has not really been that awesome. Haha...or maybe it has been too awesome, such that I no longer have time to pen a few things down here. Hmm. I lie. Life, has been starting to plateau as the thrills and excitement of my homecoming and starting my job and learning about this new phase of life I entered are all now starting to settle down. I still love my job, and I still meet new people every now and then, but that rapid fire pace at the beginning is now a slow and steady fortnightly thing i.e. the meeting new people part.
Updates...updates. OH! I turned 26!!! And how did it go? Pretty good actually, though nothing like I had expected. At the end of my birthday last year, I said I was going to celebrate my birthday with a BANG this year, because I will be back home and surrounded by friends and family that I love. I didn't. It was a pretty quiet affair, but I did spend it with Gary and he made it pretty special. =) I had a somewhat early night because I needed to study for my Japanese exam the next day (which I failed, so on hindsight I probably should've just hung out with Gary all night and make a fiesta out of it).
Turning 26 was supposed to be a big thing for me. When I was in high school, I had envisioned myself being married by 26. So when I was left single 2 years ago I kinda knew I'm never going to be married by 26. It bummed me out a little when I see friends my age getting married. Ju laughed and kept saying "The only person who really wants to get married among us is Karen". I don't know, I like the idea of Till death do us part. I guess I'm very much a Ted Mosby. Ha!
Another update (coincidentally about marriage too) is that one of my best friends, Lyn got engaged! I'm so happy for her! I'm still trying to let the news sink in. That this girl, who used to stay over at mine, who went shopping with me and write me letters, and even planned to wear identical clothes, is getting married next year. Pretty epic. And a little scary at the same time because I can't help but wonder what will happen once she's married. As it is right now it's so hard to meet up with one another, I have a feeling it's going to be harder next time. I guess that's just life. *shrug*
I've also decided that I'll be a little more dedicated to the company that has helped me grow as a Fitness Instructor - Rebel. It has given me so much to learn from and to master and to just enjoy the ride that I barely felt any negative stress from work at all. Sure there were stressful times, but never negative vibes. Everything has been an awesome learning process and I think I'm turning out just the way I had hoped.
And life with a boyfriend is lovely. I'm in a really good relationship, where we both have a balanced, healthy life between work and play. I find that I can learn to prioritise more than one thing at a go, that is my family, my loves, and my work. They are all important to me. I didn't go all high school giddy headed and neglected my other aspects of life, and I find that our relationship is very healthy. Literally. The dude works out with me when we can, and it's really nice to have someone motivate me to work out just as hard as he does. =) Aahh.. ♥
I think I'm happy. Yea, I am. =)
Life has not really been that awesome. Haha...or maybe it has been too awesome, such that I no longer have time to pen a few things down here. Hmm. I lie. Life, has been starting to plateau as the thrills and excitement of my homecoming and starting my job and learning about this new phase of life I entered are all now starting to settle down. I still love my job, and I still meet new people every now and then, but that rapid fire pace at the beginning is now a slow and steady fortnightly thing i.e. the meeting new people part.
Updates...updates. OH! I turned 26!!! And how did it go? Pretty good actually, though nothing like I had expected. At the end of my birthday last year, I said I was going to celebrate my birthday with a BANG this year, because I will be back home and surrounded by friends and family that I love. I didn't. It was a pretty quiet affair, but I did spend it with Gary and he made it pretty special. =) I had a somewhat early night because I needed to study for my Japanese exam the next day (which I failed, so on hindsight I probably should've just hung out with Gary all night and make a fiesta out of it).
Turning 26 was supposed to be a big thing for me. When I was in high school, I had envisioned myself being married by 26. So when I was left single 2 years ago I kinda knew I'm never going to be married by 26. It bummed me out a little when I see friends my age getting married. Ju laughed and kept saying "The only person who really wants to get married among us is Karen". I don't know, I like the idea of Till death do us part. I guess I'm very much a Ted Mosby. Ha!
Another update (coincidentally about marriage too) is that one of my best friends, Lyn got engaged! I'm so happy for her! I'm still trying to let the news sink in. That this girl, who used to stay over at mine, who went shopping with me and write me letters, and even planned to wear identical clothes, is getting married next year. Pretty epic. And a little scary at the same time because I can't help but wonder what will happen once she's married. As it is right now it's so hard to meet up with one another, I have a feeling it's going to be harder next time. I guess that's just life. *shrug*
I've also decided that I'll be a little more dedicated to the company that has helped me grow as a Fitness Instructor - Rebel. It has given me so much to learn from and to master and to just enjoy the ride that I barely felt any negative stress from work at all. Sure there were stressful times, but never negative vibes. Everything has been an awesome learning process and I think I'm turning out just the way I had hoped.
And life with a boyfriend is lovely. I'm in a really good relationship, where we both have a balanced, healthy life between work and play. I find that I can learn to prioritise more than one thing at a go, that is my family, my loves, and my work. They are all important to me. I didn't go all high school giddy headed and neglected my other aspects of life, and I find that our relationship is very healthy. Literally. The dude works out with me when we can, and it's really nice to have someone motivate me to work out just as hard as he does. =) Aahh.. ♥
I think I'm happy. Yea, I am. =)
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