Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Life and death.

I attended a funeral service yesterday for a good friend of mine who had just lost his father. I was slightly hesitant at first because the last time I attended a funeral service, I got really affected emotionally and I ended up not being able to sleep the entire night, with shivers of fear going down my spine. Whoa, right? I know.

Anyway, last night I went with some friends and while listening to the eulogies given by this man's family and friends, it occurred to me how little I know about my friend. I couldn't help but feel ashamed, for we've known each other for over 6 years and I couldn't even tell how many siblings he had, and whether he was the eldest, the middle or the youngest in the family. And while the pastor was talking about Death being a destination, and how you should live life well so that when you pass on, your life can be celebrated, I couldn't help but think to myself if I am doing what I can to live my life well. I don't even have a hectic schedule, nor any status or celebrity, yet I couldn't even name the number of siblings my friend had. Who am I?

I think it's so easy to get caught up in the race of life, even for someone like me who is not climbing the corporate ladder. It's just human nature, or should I say Asian nature, to chase wealth and success and keep up with the Joneses. So often I feel the pressure to buy a new car, just because my friend did, or buy a house, just because this person did...I keep thinking "we're the same age! And she's not even living at home any more!" and stuff like that. But there's so much more to life, as clich├ęd as it may sound. There really is. I don't even know why I have like a gazillion friends, yet I find myself not making any plans on a Friday night. I'd much rather curl up in my bed watching old episodes of Friends. Why? I use to crave social meet ups and hangout spots. But I feel like I am no more interested. And I don't know why.

Hmm...maybe I am rambling a little off topic here. But I think initiative is key. I do not take the initiative to keep in touch with my friends, to visit my relatives, to spend time with people I love and care about. And I'm only friggin' 26 with a lame entry level salary! I'm not even anyone rich and famous!

So coming back home last night, I thought to myself, that I need to take more initiative. I need to step out more, do more, care more. I need to live well and make my time on Earth matter.

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