It's been a while since I posted up a race report. I think I've kinda lost the interest in posting lengthy written reports since a single line of expression coupled with a post on my race route, pace and time on Facebook seems to get way more attention. It's a tech savvy world out there. =)
But I have mixed feelings about this morning's race. I went this morning not feeling too confident to begin with because I have not been training in the past 2 weeks. It is part because I was sick and part because I was just a lazy bum, still struggling with full time working hours and so on. Also, last night's dinner was BBQed lamb chops, cheese sausages and fried mee hoon. hmm, probably not the best pre race diet because i had a bit of indigestion this morning.
But no matter how many times I tell myself to just take it easy, stay calm, run your own race, this is an easy run, just go and have fun, and God knows what other self talk I do to ensure I take my competitiveness out of the equation, it always resurfaces the moment I see all the familiar faces at the start venue. All the self talk just dives out the door when I see the regular runners lined up at the start line, rearing to go. I wish, with all my heart, that I am able to pull off one of my fluke shots. (Must not have been flukes since I succeeded very frequently in the past). heh.
So anyway. Gun start. Off all the powerful women go, leading the pack. It took a lot of will power to refrain from keeping up this time, because I know I'm not 100%. I took a slower steady pace, so I can run the whole distance without stopping to walk. But it was useless. I stopped to walk halfway through a steep hill about 4 kms in. I was puffing like mad, my heart was pounding against my rib cage and I wondered whether my hyperthyroidism was back. Because I have never reached max heart rate doing a silly 10k run before. My tummy was bloated and uncomfortable. I picked up running again after the hill, but breathing was very hard.
I stopped another 2 more times after that. It was pathetic. I was going into self loathing at that time, and half my reserve energy was now used to refrain from tearing up. :( I know it's silly because I'm obviously not a 100% and a lesser performance should be expected but...sigh...it used to be a lot easier to bounce back when I was younger.
I think it's a social thing. I am very sad to see that my reputation as a young, fast female runner is now overshadowed by other younger, faster, prettier women out there. boo. So stupid, right, to think this way? I know. But it is still disappointing. Plus, with being a fitness trainer at Rebel and a Personal Trainer to others, I really wanted to be an inspiration to everyone. What inspiration can I be when I am overtaken by so many other less experienced runners.
I need to grow up. But it's so hard!! *pout*
[edit] Though I have to say the route this morning was gorgeous! It really reminded me of running in NZ with all the cows and horses and piles of poo along the track. haha..=)
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