the lake

i used to run at the Subang Lake. It was the very place where i honed my stamina, built my strength and made a place for myself in the running arena...ok well, maybe not much of a place but i did land myself a spot in the P2K team...back in the days where i was the baby of the triathlon family, before it got dominated by 9-10 year olds from Singapore.

and since the disease, i never went back there. i dont know if it was the embarrassment i got from becoming so slow, that i was afraid to show my face around the lake kakis, or it's just the fear that arises everytime i got there, remembering the days where i'd drag myself up that miserable excuse of an uphill slope and eventually slowed down to a walk. either way, that place have always and (i thought) will always be a jinx.

but yesterday, after taking more than a week long hiatus from running, i decided to gather my courage and go for a run at the lake. still cautious, i intentionally left my stopwatch behind, so that i wouldn't be tempted to time myself. as i was about to leave home, my dad came back. looking for a bit of moral support, i invited him along and off we zoomed to my most feared venue after Dr Loo's Clinic.

surprise, surprise, i managed 4 rounds with minimal discomfort. no doubt the hiatus made me pant a bit, but it was good i-think-i-could-actually-go-on panting, not oh-my-god-my-lungs-are-exploding panting.

so i got my lake back. it's no longer jinxed. it's funny how such childish believes could cripple me for so long that i'd actually fear a place. it's funny how such childish believes actually last that long.

the sinful purchase

ive always wanted a pair of off-road sandals. one that i can go trekking with. one that would last, wouldn't give me blisters and look cool at the same time. one that was green.

i went shopping that day.
i scouted around.
my eyes glided greedily over the Tevas, Crocs and even the North Faces.
many fit the cut. but it was hard to part with that much cash.
then, something caught my eye.
something deliciously funky and alluring.
i caved.
i am now RM 129.90 poorer.




my saving grace:
1. i got Bonuslink points out of it.
2. they're cheaper than the Tevas, the Crocs and the North Faces.
3. even Rocky loves it.

happiness is a state of mind

"why would anyone want to have an online journal? so nice meh sharing your personal thoughts with the world?" said he when i shared this site with him.

well, HE who said that now owns a blog. and being the nice and dutiful sister that i always am *ahem ahem* i figured he could use some readers. so for the triathlon/running enthusiats out there, people who enjoy indulging in race and training reports, or simply people who would enjoy reading about the 23 year old Malaysian senior accountant residing in Perth, Happiness is a state of Mind is the blog to read.

here's food for thought. if you think that what i do is intense, then u should read his blog coz i do like an eigth or a tenth of what he does. :)

am i turning mean?

i have an old school mate who would be leaving for oz-land in about 2 weeks time. in an attempt to meet up before she leaves, the group (or rather whatever's left of it) decided to go for a night out in KL. Me being, well, me, i refused the invitation. it's not that i don't want to go out with them. It's just that with all the red tape i'd have to go through without having to lie, the whole affair has lost its appeal altogether. and i can only imagine being pressed against sweaty bodies of unknown strangers in a smoky hazy environment where drugs and drunkards are lurking in every possible corner of the area, that the thought of it was enough to make me hurl.

sides, there are a thousand and one other ways to meet up apart from clubbing.

anyway, there was the reasoning that i may not see this friend of mine again, that she was leaving already, can't i just spare one night for her and so on and so forth. i really don't know. we were close once. then we grew apart. and for some reason, i was never able to patch the gaps between us back. we just grew more and more different in every aspect of life, that when we met up, conversations were formal, and mannerism was polite. it was like meeting someone new all over again. and for that reason, i really can't feel even the slightest tinge of sadness that she's leaving so soon.

because for one thing, i'll probably see her again soon, if not this coming June, then this coming November. Which means it's not exactly forever that we won't see each other. and for another, even when she was around, we never really communicated much. so it doesn't make much of a difference.

it sounds awfully mean i know. what makes it worse is that i am the only one who seems to feel like i'm drifting apart from this group. everyone in it is striving to sew the seems back together with more and more mamak sessions, and more and more dinners and lunches and what nots. everyone in the group desperately calls for a get together the moment any member flies home from somewhere that we actually bid farewell 2, sometimes 3 times a year to a same person. which makes the heartfelt farewell decrease in value with each time.

i can't help it. maybe i have changed. eventhough i think that i have not. but if i'm the only one who feels obligated to attend these meetings then maybe i have. and we no longer see eye to eye on a lot of things. i'm so lost when the girls chitter about current, ex and future beaus. i'm even more puzzled when i try tuning in to what the guys have to say about clubs and bars. i find myself occassionally nodding and smiling just to keep the conversation flowing but most of the time, i really just savour the meal and wait for the right time to say that i need to go home.

i don't mean to be rude. i really don't. but it's not how it used to be. no longer am i the one who'd jump at the opportunity to gather my friends out on a friday night for an iced tea at some nearby mamak. things have changed. times have changed. i dont blame anyone or anything.

i just don't want to be misunderstood as the mean one who turned her back on the group.

more than half way there

i love mid way points. whenever im exactly halfway through a race route, i'd tell myself "Now just do that one mroe time and ure done!". and it works wonders for the mind. the half way point? it's my reason for living...coz it affects me in many other aspects in life, from racing, to studying, to exams, and even things as trivial as long distance travelling. i'm not a big fan of travelling for long hours.

as of now, the mid way point of my summer course have passed me by. i've completed an individual assignment, and a group presentation, and pretty well too if i should say so myself. for the first time ever i was actually stressed out over a presentation. which was for the better also la. i suppose if it weren't for my group mates harrassing me with smses and questions i probably would not have done such a thorough job. (but i'd like to believe that i'd still be fine anyhows). all that's left is the Final Take Home exam.

and that, should be done in a blink of an eye. =)

the omg-a-deuter-bag moment

when i got to Majlis Sukan Negara this morn for the press conference, the first thing i saw was the neatly lined up Deuter haversacks on the table with bold printed name tags on them. My heart stopped for a second. i knew the benefits were good, but a 30L Deuter Haversack?? whoa!!

i say this coz i was actually shopping for one not too long ago, for my upcoming climb. but they were all way out of my league. i can't believe i got one for free!!!

you know, i'm starting to think that maybe, i'm pretty lucky afterall. i've always had this idea that the lucky one in the family was my brother. scholarships make a beeline to him, teachers all praise his diligence, he gets amazing results, and he gets to go to Australia. i used to believe i was the slightly more wayward one, the one with a long list of mischief tales to tell, the one whom teacher knew for not exactly the right reasons... i think the number of fights ive picked with my parents is beyond countable. but i digress.

anyway, life has been goood to me lately. i get plastered up on a 6 metre wall in front of a very busy road, i get a part in the main cast of a musical when we all know i cant sing, and now, i've got this. The Powerbar Team Elite. Half the time i was there this morning, i was conscious about what people would think of me as every single one of them were literally elite athletes in their own sport. i was the only one who's not-quite-there. i still don't quite belief that i got in, but i'm in...it's real.

anyway, i'm more of a karma believer, so i'll just comfort myself that i must've done something right...:)

well, here are some shots i took of this morn. enjoy.

Deuter bags!

Daniel Bego - swimmer - keith's idol

Neesha - tennis - youngest Elite member

pipot!

awei