It's been 369 days since I touched down in Malaysia, armed with a new degree and raring to go into life. I can't believe how fast time has flown. I was on BFM today and they asked me a lot of questions like "Why fitness?" and "How did you get here?" as if I have been "here" for so long. And I felt like I had so much to share as well, but at the same time I couldn't help but wonder if my words can really inspire others out there. I mean, who am I but just another 26 year old girl, fresh out in the working world. It's like Justin Bieber and his biographic movie. He's not even been in this world as long as I have, and they make a movie about him? haha...those were my thoughts anyway.
In the one year that I came home for good I have achieved so much that it feels more than just one year. Work has, of course, been the main focus of my life these past 12 months, and it has been an adventure to say the least. I still think I have a very long way to go to be at par with those I have a lot of admiration for. But it's ok, it is a journey I look forward to embarking on. :)
And I've found love. I think I'm really lucky to have found this one because he makes me happy. These past few months with him have been refreshing and inspiring because he truly allows me to be myself around him. Especially at this point of my life, where every day is a journey of self discovery for me, this boy encourages me to speak my mind, talk to him, let him help me work through life's daily obstacles and discover myself a little bit every day and I cannot thank him enough. I hope I can do the same for him. Much love. :)
I guess I realise today during the interview on air that I'm a big girl now. I need to start looking through the eyes of a grown up woman and take things more seriously. In life, in love, in relationships with the people around me.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Thursday, July 05, 2012
Maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home
Stereophonics...isn't always my cup of tea but it's currently playing on air and it's somewhat suited to what I was going to write about anyway. =)
I think I feel a little unsure of my footing. I feel like my career path is somewhat more accelerated compared to other people's and while some may take a year or two testing the waters and figuring out what they'd like to be, I find that I need to make that decision now, or the soonest possible. Because while I kinda know what I want in life in terms of career, I am distracted by everything else in the market place. Suddenly there is more to the fitness world than what I knew of and I want to learn more and try more and see more. I want so much but I think I need to start homing in onto something in specific and pursue that journey. And if I want to achieve what I plan to achieve as young as possible, I had better get started because I'm not that young any more. Sadly. Meh.
Sometimes I wish I have a more brilliant mind. Like that of people who have made it big. I know there is a lot of sweat and tears poured into what they do, but not every hard working fool can reach such success. It takes a certain amount of brilliance and that much of life is unfair. Because brilliance could be blessed onto some undeserving people with the wrong intentions. While simple, less brilliant minds are inherited by the kindest and most hardworking of people. Not saying myself. While I try to be a good and caring citizen of society I know that I may not exactly the noblest of all.
So yea. I want to kick start my life. But how and what exactly, is the question.
I think I feel a little unsure of my footing. I feel like my career path is somewhat more accelerated compared to other people's and while some may take a year or two testing the waters and figuring out what they'd like to be, I find that I need to make that decision now, or the soonest possible. Because while I kinda know what I want in life in terms of career, I am distracted by everything else in the market place. Suddenly there is more to the fitness world than what I knew of and I want to learn more and try more and see more. I want so much but I think I need to start homing in onto something in specific and pursue that journey. And if I want to achieve what I plan to achieve as young as possible, I had better get started because I'm not that young any more. Sadly. Meh.
Sometimes I wish I have a more brilliant mind. Like that of people who have made it big. I know there is a lot of sweat and tears poured into what they do, but not every hard working fool can reach such success. It takes a certain amount of brilliance and that much of life is unfair. Because brilliance could be blessed onto some undeserving people with the wrong intentions. While simple, less brilliant minds are inherited by the kindest and most hardworking of people. Not saying myself. While I try to be a good and caring citizen of society I know that I may not exactly the noblest of all.
So yea. I want to kick start my life. But how and what exactly, is the question.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Post School Holiday Blues
I never thought I'd have this feeling today, but I guess it is inevitable when I agreed to be a high school teacher. It's the first day back at work after 2 weeks of break from the kiddies and I have to say I'm kinda dreading it. I don't particularly hate working at the school, I just don't particularly love it either. It's fun when I teach maybe 2or 3 classes of kids a day and then go off to do my own thing after that. But to teach 5-8 hours of teenagers with highly fluctuating mood swings in a single day and then going off to do my own thing after that takes a bit of hard work to really enjoy.
I remember this feeling as a kid, the feeling of returning to school after a break and it sucks. The teachers are just about my least favourite human beings during this time, and now as an adult I get to be them. Joy. Really need to rethink my work angle and see where I'd like to focus more of my energy on.
On another note, the upstairs of my parents' home has completely morphed over the school holidays with big thanks to mum and dad and a bit of me. =) We've been lifting and pushing and pulling and mopping, and vacuuming, and wiping everything around the place and it's been quite a feat! But it looks really good now, all ready for my big brother's big day!!
Ok, really need to get myself armoured up in my Nike top and cropped tights and my winning smile to take on those teenagers. Wish me luck!
I remember this feeling as a kid, the feeling of returning to school after a break and it sucks. The teachers are just about my least favourite human beings during this time, and now as an adult I get to be them. Joy. Really need to rethink my work angle and see where I'd like to focus more of my energy on.
On another note, the upstairs of my parents' home has completely morphed over the school holidays with big thanks to mum and dad and a bit of me. =) We've been lifting and pushing and pulling and mopping, and vacuuming, and wiping everything around the place and it's been quite a feat! But it looks really good now, all ready for my big brother's big day!!
Ok, really need to get myself armoured up in my Nike top and cropped tights and my winning smile to take on those teenagers. Wish me luck!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Hello.
My last post was a month ago. And I am surprised that my weekly site meter tells me that I still have about 17 unique followers. So to these 17 unique people, I thank you very much. I will try my best not to let this page die and to continue to provide you loyal people with rantings or depiction of my awesome life. =)
Life has not really been that awesome. Haha...or maybe it has been too awesome, such that I no longer have time to pen a few things down here. Hmm. I lie. Life, has been starting to plateau as the thrills and excitement of my homecoming and starting my job and learning about this new phase of life I entered are all now starting to settle down. I still love my job, and I still meet new people every now and then, but that rapid fire pace at the beginning is now a slow and steady fortnightly thing i.e. the meeting new people part.
Updates...updates. OH! I turned 26!!! And how did it go? Pretty good actually, though nothing like I had expected. At the end of my birthday last year, I said I was going to celebrate my birthday with a BANG this year, because I will be back home and surrounded by friends and family that I love. I didn't. It was a pretty quiet affair, but I did spend it with Gary and he made it pretty special. =) I had a somewhat early night because I needed to study for my Japanese exam the next day (which I failed, so on hindsight I probably should've just hung out with Gary all night and make a fiesta out of it).
Turning 26 was supposed to be a big thing for me. When I was in high school, I had envisioned myself being married by 26. So when I was left single 2 years ago I kinda knew I'm never going to be married by 26. It bummed me out a little when I see friends my age getting married. Ju laughed and kept saying "The only person who really wants to get married among us is Karen". I don't know, I like the idea of Till death do us part. I guess I'm very much a Ted Mosby. Ha!
Another update (coincidentally about marriage too) is that one of my best friends, Lyn got engaged! I'm so happy for her! I'm still trying to let the news sink in. That this girl, who used to stay over at mine, who went shopping with me and write me letters, and even planned to wear identical clothes, is getting married next year. Pretty epic. And a little scary at the same time because I can't help but wonder what will happen once she's married. As it is right now it's so hard to meet up with one another, I have a feeling it's going to be harder next time. I guess that's just life. *shrug*
I've also decided that I'll be a little more dedicated to the company that has helped me grow as a Fitness Instructor - Rebel. It has given me so much to learn from and to master and to just enjoy the ride that I barely felt any negative stress from work at all. Sure there were stressful times, but never negative vibes. Everything has been an awesome learning process and I think I'm turning out just the way I had hoped.
And life with a boyfriend is lovely. I'm in a really good relationship, where we both have a balanced, healthy life between work and play. I find that I can learn to prioritise more than one thing at a go, that is my family, my loves, and my work. They are all important to me. I didn't go all high school giddy headed and neglected my other aspects of life, and I find that our relationship is very healthy. Literally. The dude works out with me when we can, and it's really nice to have someone motivate me to work out just as hard as he does. =) Aahh.. ♥
I think I'm happy. Yea, I am. =)
Life has not really been that awesome. Haha...or maybe it has been too awesome, such that I no longer have time to pen a few things down here. Hmm. I lie. Life, has been starting to plateau as the thrills and excitement of my homecoming and starting my job and learning about this new phase of life I entered are all now starting to settle down. I still love my job, and I still meet new people every now and then, but that rapid fire pace at the beginning is now a slow and steady fortnightly thing i.e. the meeting new people part.
Updates...updates. OH! I turned 26!!! And how did it go? Pretty good actually, though nothing like I had expected. At the end of my birthday last year, I said I was going to celebrate my birthday with a BANG this year, because I will be back home and surrounded by friends and family that I love. I didn't. It was a pretty quiet affair, but I did spend it with Gary and he made it pretty special. =) I had a somewhat early night because I needed to study for my Japanese exam the next day (which I failed, so on hindsight I probably should've just hung out with Gary all night and make a fiesta out of it).
Turning 26 was supposed to be a big thing for me. When I was in high school, I had envisioned myself being married by 26. So when I was left single 2 years ago I kinda knew I'm never going to be married by 26. It bummed me out a little when I see friends my age getting married. Ju laughed and kept saying "The only person who really wants to get married among us is Karen". I don't know, I like the idea of Till death do us part. I guess I'm very much a Ted Mosby. Ha!
Another update (coincidentally about marriage too) is that one of my best friends, Lyn got engaged! I'm so happy for her! I'm still trying to let the news sink in. That this girl, who used to stay over at mine, who went shopping with me and write me letters, and even planned to wear identical clothes, is getting married next year. Pretty epic. And a little scary at the same time because I can't help but wonder what will happen once she's married. As it is right now it's so hard to meet up with one another, I have a feeling it's going to be harder next time. I guess that's just life. *shrug*
I've also decided that I'll be a little more dedicated to the company that has helped me grow as a Fitness Instructor - Rebel. It has given me so much to learn from and to master and to just enjoy the ride that I barely felt any negative stress from work at all. Sure there were stressful times, but never negative vibes. Everything has been an awesome learning process and I think I'm turning out just the way I had hoped.
And life with a boyfriend is lovely. I'm in a really good relationship, where we both have a balanced, healthy life between work and play. I find that I can learn to prioritise more than one thing at a go, that is my family, my loves, and my work. They are all important to me. I didn't go all high school giddy headed and neglected my other aspects of life, and I find that our relationship is very healthy. Literally. The dude works out with me when we can, and it's really nice to have someone motivate me to work out just as hard as he does. =) Aahh.. ♥
I think I'm happy. Yea, I am. =)
Sunday, April 29, 2012
That yellow parade
I wish I went.
Initially I thought the demonstration was in the morning, so I couldn't go for it because I didn't want to miss running for the Orang Asli in the jungle. But it turned out it was in the afternoon. And I didn't have anybody to go with. But looking back I wish I went.
I've never been a strong follower of the political situation here at home, simply because I honestly don't know in depth enough about the issues that go on. I only know what's on the surface. So that's why I never really projected a strong stance in anything with regards to politics. But I'll admit to one thing, I do want change. Because I have been lucky enough to travel out of the country, I can see how our country can do with so much change.
I missed the last gathering because that was the date I was flying back home from NZ. I had intentions to join the next one they had, but then I guess I wasn't proactive enough to find out more about it to go this time around. But looking at the news and videos on the internet, albeit how biased they may be, I felt a sense of pride for the people who had the courage to stand up for what they believed in. I thought that the audacity of the youths of my country is just amazing, and whether or not they were just there to silently observe, or there to fight, I just felt so proud that they were the same nationality as me. I want to be like them.
Whatever injury or pain they had to sustain yesterday, I know. without a shadow of doubt, that it's working. Change is about to unfold, slowly but surely. And I couldn't beam any brighter with pride.
Monday, April 09, 2012
Out with the old, In with the new
I spent all of Sunday trying to tidy up my room and it is shocking to realise what a hoarder I really am. For one thing, I would like to be as much of an environmentalist as I can, so I really try to keep bits of unused paper, or notepads, or exercise books to be used in future. I also try as much as I can to be an artist, so I have managed to compile quite a collection of scrap paper, bits of wrapping paper, nice little plastic bags and gift boxes and cards so I can use them to make gifts and cards for friends. And most of all, I grow emotionally attached to a lot of my things, especially if they were given by my friends. Every gift I have ever received is truly treasured because of their effort and kind thoughts. But what I end up with is piles of things I never use at all!
So I filled a big black bag full of rubbish and there's still some more to go. The last time I had a clean up of my room was probably about a year ago because I bought a new cupboard and chucked an old broken one. I cleared up 6 drawers of things and during that time, I guess the hardest thing to do was to chuck away the ex boyfriend stuff. Those things held way too many memories, keeping them felt as if I am not letting myself move on, but throwing them away felt wrong as well. So I kept a bunch of things, well hidden from plain sight, so I don't stumble across them too frequently.
A few days ago, G came over to my place after a run together to use my shower. And it struck me that I've moved on now, I really should not be keeping certain things such as dried roses from Valentine's Day 3 years ago. So yesterday, I finally chucked them, along with some other things I learned to let go off. Memories will remain as memories, in my head. Chucking away these things doesn't mean I cut out these memories, it just means I'm making space for new memories to be made with G. :)
The surprising thing was when I went out with G yesterday night, I felt closer to him, like I could finally step over the big rock that was holding me a step back from him. I realised how much I've fallen in love with this guy. I was just too afraid to admit it for fear of shattering my heart again.
So I filled a big black bag full of rubbish and there's still some more to go. The last time I had a clean up of my room was probably about a year ago because I bought a new cupboard and chucked an old broken one. I cleared up 6 drawers of things and during that time, I guess the hardest thing to do was to chuck away the ex boyfriend stuff. Those things held way too many memories, keeping them felt as if I am not letting myself move on, but throwing them away felt wrong as well. So I kept a bunch of things, well hidden from plain sight, so I don't stumble across them too frequently.
A few days ago, G came over to my place after a run together to use my shower. And it struck me that I've moved on now, I really should not be keeping certain things such as dried roses from Valentine's Day 3 years ago. So yesterday, I finally chucked them, along with some other things I learned to let go off. Memories will remain as memories, in my head. Chucking away these things doesn't mean I cut out these memories, it just means I'm making space for new memories to be made with G. :)
The surprising thing was when I went out with G yesterday night, I felt closer to him, like I could finally step over the big rock that was holding me a step back from him. I realised how much I've fallen in love with this guy. I was just too afraid to admit it for fear of shattering my heart again.
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