The heart is an idiot

There's a saying which goes "The heart wants what the heart wants". Something like that.

I haven't written an emo post here in a while. Perhaps it's time I did.

So my latest take on Love is that the heart is an idiot. Because it has no rationale, no forethoughts, no reason, no nothing. It just wants what it wants. It lunges, headfirst into pits of fire. It dives into troubled water. It battles uncertainty and doubt if only at the tiniest chance of obtaining whatever it wants.

In a way, the heart is strong. It weathers just about anything that gets in its way. It can withstand criticism, it can take insult. It defies orders from the mind to a degree that puts the biggest teenage rebel to shame. It can turn bullshit into reality and reality into bullshit. It picks what it wants and that's that.

The heart is resilient. It usually doesn't stop until it gets what it wants. Even if it meant getting pierced, torn up, or shredded into a million pieces. The heart is never shy and it never will be. Once bitten, it pummels forward with even greater desire than it started with. The heart never learns from mistakes because the heart never makes them. Only the mind does. The mind makes them, and tries to hold the heart back, but the heart always emerge victorious.

The heart cannot be tamed, though many of us often try to. We hide our hearts under blankets of denial and lies. We try to silent it by drowning ourselves in work, in alcohol, in exercise, in loud music. But at the very back of our minds, we hear it's muffled cry.

The heart wants what the heart wants. That's the problem.

wacky weather

Auckland's got some really wacked out weather this past few days.

I'd wake up to bright streaks of yellow sunrise pouring into my window at 7.15 am. Then I'd go and wash up, take a shower, and come out of the bathroom realising that the sound of water pouring down is coming from outside. I'd peep through the window and see rain, lashing down from apparently blue skies.

Then I'd have my breakfast and look out the windows as I do. And in my 15 minute meal, I'd see the day turn bright again and the birds come out to sing once more. I'd go downstairs, change and prepare to walk to uni when I see dark clouds hovering above me. Not wanting to take the chance, I'd come back in, don my waterproof jacket, and within seconds I'd hear rain pouring down again. So I'd grab my car keys and drive to uni.

And this has happened for the past 3-4 days. Really frustrating weather if you ask me. I haven't been able to run outside. I've been doing treadmill runs for the past few days, and on the treadmill I could never go more than 5-6ks. I managed one 40 minute run the other day, which I think was about 7.7 k. But yea, that was my limit.

Yesterday, it flippin' HAILED. Like pieces of ice fell from the sky like an ice dispenser. On the roof top you could see little bits of ice bouncing off the zinc pieces. It was so weird! I was so amused by it, I took a photo, but you can't really see much.

Notice the white spots on the road? That's ICE. This is the view from my room window.

Needless to say it was FREEZING yesterday. 9 degrees, in the middle of the day, and in the middle of Spring! I think that is so wrong! Winter's gone, stop rewinding! Bring out the SUN.

BFF

Here's wishing Julie Kuan a Happy 24th Birthday!

You've always been one of the constants in my life, someone I could count on to always be there for me through thick and thin. You've always been supportive and understanding, and you give me free stuff! :)
"May we be best friends till we're old grannies!", you once wrote me in a note.
I'm betting on "yes, we will be". ;)
Have a great time today, don't hold back, aye?

xx
ren

So High

Baby since the day you came into my life
You made me realize that we were born to fly
You showed me everyday new possibilities
You proved my fantasies of love could really be

Let's go to a place only lovers go
To a spot that we've never known
To the top of the clouds we're floating away yeah
Ooh this feels so crazy
Oh this love is blazing
Baby we're so high
Walking on cloud 9

(You've got me up so high) So high
(My shoes are scraping the sky) So high
(You've got me up so high) Oh
(My shoes are scraping the sky)

Maybe later we can go up to the moon
Or sail among the stars before the night is through
And when morning comes we'll see the sun is not so far
And we can't get much closer to God than where we are

We'll go to a place only lovers go
To a spot that we've never known
To the top of the clouds we're floating away yeah
Ooh this feels so crazy
Oh this love is blazing
Baby we're so high
Walking on cloud 9

This is how love's supposed to be
This is how, this is how love's supposed to be, yeah
Let's go to the moon baby, ooh
Let's go to the moon baby, yeah
Let's go, go, let's go to the moon baby
So high..

-John Legend-

35 and stillovingu. :)

GE3K 1N DA GR3EN

I'm a geek. (So lame post titles are excused).

Lately, since my flatmate generously increased our bandwidth quota for us and will continue to pay for us for it, I've been discovering more and more awesomeness of my phone. Let me show you how geeky I've become.

Has an Android phone. Check.
Has a phone which reads out her incoming text messages. Check
Downloads free apps and will always find a use for it. Check.
Brags excitedly about new app features to friends when they come online on her phone. Check.
Constantly browses through the Android market for new apps. Check.
Reads e-forums on apps and does comparisons. Check.
Sees $6 for 50MB data pack and goes "Whoa!". Check.
Relies on phone to tell her whether or not to do laundry. Check.
Tweets random tweets just because she can. Check.
Spends hours on Facebook on her phone. Check.
Gets disappointed when there are no new notifications on Facebook on her phone. Check.
Sees green light as new text msg, blue light as new Tweet mentions, orange light as Gtalk message, aqua light as Ebuddy MSN msg. Check.
Gets addicted to her phone. CHECK.
Darling, when you bought me this phone, you weren't just buying me a means to communicate. You got me unlimited hours of entertainment, moments of OMG, and potential to become socially averse. =)

cold nights

they make me miss you more.