* sudden rush of events *

last saturday was Dance World's Dance Party. didn't want to go earlier, but then Amelia and Sook Wai were supposed to performed so i guess, what the heck. Then i also found out Grace and Erica were performing too. this i gotta see. So anyway i went. in a white baby tee and a hawaiian short wrap around skirt, but let's not get distracted shall we? Well, it's supposed to be Tropical Night and everyone was dressed for the occasion alright. anyway, surprise number 1. I met Ee Ling. hehe Lee Ee Ling from smksj? senior prefect in form 2? yea i met her. She's taking Latin dance though she claims she's bad at it and all. haha owell, who am i to comment. haha...then, surprise number 2. I met Thomas Yap. I think it's Yap. Not sure. He's one of the seafieldians, who i somehow met at Pyramid when i went out with Ron and friends. Yup, was the day i went out alone with Ron and his friends...haha but yea...again...let's not stray.

Anyway, i met Thomas again after that Pyramid trip a few times, and he claims that everytime he saw me i had a different look, causing him to not recognize me. First time in Pyramid, i had my hair down, and specs on. Next time was in school, i think it was the prefect's installation, and i was in school uniform with tied hair and specs. so he said i look entirely different. Then i met him again in my Leo install, and apparently i look very different in my Leo uniform again. So this time around, it took him more than just "hie thomas! remember me, Karen?" for him to recall who i was. He starred at me for a while, i think guilty stricken since his friend was dissing him, then he said, i remember your voice. My voice?? haha...well, he slowly recalled anyway. And this time he said, my hair's far too short and my skin's far too tanned. hahaha i wanted to laugh. Anyway, he's a pretty good latin dancer! seriously...i wanna learn Latin now. fun!

Performances, well sook wai n amelia bailed out. Erica couldn't make it so Grace did a solo and she was awesome! She did this robot dance thingy to Missy E's gossip folk. I can't wait till i reach that level! Then there was the latin dance by a couple who were brother and sister! ahah how cool is that! i can't imagine dancing with my brother! ahah and there were loads of games and all, but i had to leave early. Didn't get to take pictures also. wasted...hehe

ok, college has yet to excite me and all but it's getting better. I like my econs tutor. She makes a lot of sense. haha as in she kept me nodding the whole way about how friendship in tertiary level is very important, how diligence pays off, how class participation is so important. yup...she's one level minded lecturer!

ok...something more interesting. I went jogging today, and i was barely 200m from my house when this motorcyclist when pass me and almost instantly slowed down. I got scared of course but that fellow didn't stop. though he just looked at me strangely and went on slowly. i though it could be because of my striking yellow 4WD bandana. he was still looking back at me for another 2 or 3 times so i figured i better keep an eye on him in case. i delibrately slowed my own pace down as well, hoping that it'd be too slow for his bike forcing him to go off. anyway, he did go off though i wouldn't say he sped off. he just went off without looking anymore. and i was watching him warily and saw him do a turning, though i wasn't sure into where. a bit too far for my vision. anyway, i carried on up the ss18 hill, keeping myself alert, and at the very immediate first right junction...that is right behind the shops, there he was! he was pissing in the drain there! i started sprinting past that junction, making a right turn at the first housing area junction, then immediately turn right again to head back home. meaning to say, i came out in between some of the shops, and started sprinting back home. on my way i saw one runner (used to see him jogging around) and for safety's sake i followed his pace. haha and BOY was he FAST! hahaha doesn't matter. i was more worried about my safety that somehow i had this drive that kept me going! ahah anyway, i got home safe and sound. and thanks to Mr Runner-Guy i did get my exercise afterall! Sprint exercise la...haha..

yup...so life's isn't such a straight road afterall. =)

[ u n i n s p i r e d ]

i was set on adding to my days of not blogging by deciding not to blog tonight as well. somehow don't seem to have the drive or inspiration to blog these days. well first of all, i've been working, so been knocking off quite early at night. tiring ler. plus i've been joining my bro in his room coz my room air con sux! it's not cold at all! so, i've been strengthening family ties plus saving electricity by not going online, and bunking with my lil bro. *wink*. also, i've got nothing to rhyme about. and i want so much for my blog to be a poetic one...with hopes that some editor might chance upon it and fall in love with my poem and decide to publish it in some foreign magazine read by millions of people where i can inspire them all and get paid in return! i know i know...dream on....

then i decided to unclog my mail today, and started reading julie's blog and i guess it made me change my mind. not that i'm inspired now, i just figured i shouldn't let it die la...u noe...it becomes a habit once i let it go. and since Ju's still going strong, even with so little to report, i should at least say a word or two. haha...:)

well, today was my last day of work. been pretty fun working at Kota kemuning's Tumble Tots. for one thing, the equipment are all brand new! Then, there's the opening ceremony so there's free food and drinks. and aunty Reihan is a much nicer boss than aunty Cynthia. and their working hour are slightly shorter too. Oh and eating lunch is much more convenient with the many hawker centers around that's less than 5 minutes walk away. in addition to that, the air conditioning is also better. In subang parade, it gets a little stuffy. oh! i almost forgot! it also has 5 panels of mirror! i could start a dance class in there!

yup...and tomorrow shall be my first day of lecture. joy! i miss science. Miss it soooo much....i know it's hard and demanding and i never did get good grades but still!!! it sounds a hell a lot nicer to learn than econs and law! arghh!!! why wasn't i born with good brains? or at least a longer attention span and diligence! and excuse me for saying this but i've always viewed science as better than arts. i don't know, they just seem more highly thought of than arts. of course there are cases where the geniuses are in arts because they enjoy it. also chances of a business grad working for a science grad are less likely than a science grad working for a business grad in future. sigh...keep the gym future in mind!!!!

okla...enough of reporting n ranting. i wanna grow my hair long again. i miss it...was stealing a glance at myself in the mirror today and my side profile is not good...the waves in my hair is soo...i dunno...not nicee ler...i love short hair but the waves ruin it a bit. so i wanna grow my hair long again so that i can straighten it right before i go to curtin uni inn my final year! ahahha...



which is better?

* been missing you *

i paced around the house today
with nothing on my mind
i tried to search and find a way
but nothing's left behind

i had this whole blank feeling in me
and it bugs me to the core
i just don't get why suddenly
my life is such a bore?

i've got nothing better to do these days
and the boiling weather isn't helping
i really don't mind the bright shining rays
but the heat wave is just sickening

my sleep's enough to last me a decade
yet i still feel all lethargic
even when my mind i raid
no fun idea seemed to stick

i feel restless most of the time
and i think my family's bugged by me too
then somewhere out of my head it chimes
i realised it's coz i've been missing you...

I miss my best friend Lyn. I'm missing her so much. I can't stand the fact that she's so far away. I can't stand the fact that we didn't get to go pai nien together. I can't stand the fact that we didn't spend enough time together before she left. I can't stand the fact that i can no longer just give her a call when i'm bored. I can't stand the fact that she will no longer give me a call when she's bored, and beg me to go to her place. I can't stand the fact that i won't see her at the lake anymore if i go jogging....

*sniff sniff* I miss her so much. I told my parents about it, and they weren't very comforting. They kept saying "she got boyfriend already la." or "people studying very hard lah, u think like you meh?". and i'll be like "That shouldn't be an excuse!". I don't care if she as a bf. I don't care if she's studying a hundred times harder than me (which i think is unlikely for now since she's still undergoing orientation). I miss her, and i wanna talk to her and see her. Doesn't she feel the same?

i should call her up...yea i should. Find out when's she coming back to SJ so i can bring her out for mamak at night. and i will. I'll call her tomorrow.

oh and my bro's going back to Perth tmr. means the car's mine again! haha...won't miss him so much this time coz i'm going there in 2 weeks time! haha...

[ boulder arms ]

i'm walking with 2 boulders as my arms. or at least i feel like it. can't believe my muscles are that weak. went rock climbing today with Keeran and my lil bro Keith. Had fun. realised i do like climbing. I just didn't wanna embarrass myself coz i suck big time at it! ahahha...anyway, guess it doesn't matter now. Even Keith's better than me. For real! He completed a few walls that i failed to complete. He did 1 or 2 faster than me too. He's good! and for that split second that he touched the bar at the top of the wall, i had this vision of my lil bro, all buffed up and attracting girls like me. ahhaha what a proud sis i'd be! =)

Came home and watched an hour of Shall We Dance (thanks Ju) and i love Richard Gere. He's the most good looking too-old-for-me man I know. haha....

oh and guess what i did after that? Went cycling! ahah I think it'll be a while before i start racing the full duathlon...and an even longer while for the full triathlon! haha but i'm getting there...slowly but surely!

okla...all psyched up about starting college tomorrow. thinking of things like Will i get a day off? will my hours be long? will i get to come home for lunch? will i know anybody there? will i like the place? will my lecturers be cool? you know that sorta thing...excited...yet dreading the fact that soon i'll be reading economics and legal framework and whatnots...haiyo.....

* r e d *

I simply love my mom. She has this sense of having spontaneous fun that I think I inherited. She can turn a school event into a classy staff vacation, a birthday into a fiesta, and a family dinner into a ballroom function! well, figuratively speaking, that is. =)

anyway, had loads of fun just now. I think everyone else did too! I just wish I can express my satisfaction and pride to my mum. I'm so proud of her! =)

I've got exactly 33 hours before my holidays are officially over. I'm actually starting college! Hard to believe... Here's a summary of what i did since my last day of SAM till now...

number of proms...one

number of vacations out of selangor...three

number of new friends made...countless

number of times i lost weight...one

number of times i put on...gazillion times

number of times getting lost on the road...countless

number of job offers...three

number of jobs i stuck to...one

number of toe nails lost...one

number of friends missed...a whole LOT

uhuh...that's it...was a pretty productive break i'd say. Am so glad i took so long to decide what I wanted to do. Wouldn't have done half the things above if i did. =)

[ i had a nightmare ]

The eeriest of the eeriest spooked me out today. Was in my room, talking to ju on the phone. Told her i'm gonna take a nap so i hung up. Then as i was preparing to sleep, there was this high pitched buzzing sound that seemed to be coming from my cupboard on which my room phone was placed. I've actually heard that buzzing before but never figured out where the source was. Today i stepped closer and found that it got louder...loud enough for me to know that it was coming from the phone. I picked up the receiver and the buzzing sound blared into my ears! that freaked me out so i hastily dropped the receiver back down, stopping the sound immediately. How freaky is that!?

however, didn't think of it for a second more. Fell on my bed right after. Gawd knew why I was so tired. Was lying down still or a while when suddenly i was in this dream.

My dad was walking and there was a trail of black ink drops where he walked. My mum was making this joke in Hokkien about how my dad was pissing out black ink. Anyway that was irrelevant. But still, it all seemed so real. I, on the other hand, had a gut feeling that something was wrong. I started feeling really worried so i ran up to my parents' room. There was this small framed mirror on the floor propped up against the wall. Around it were patches of that black ink. Then my big brother shows up out of nowhere. In his hands were sanitary pads!!! I don't know if you know this but sanitary pads were always related to black magic. So anyway, he was dropping them one by one and i was using them to clean up the black patches, hopefully i could ward off whatever evil that was happening. I acted as though i knew perfectly what to do, and what was going to happen. And the funniest thing was i had that feeling in me that the event was all too familiar. It has happened before! So while i was wiping up the black liquids, i caught a glimpse of the mirror. I saw my face. I had a white bandana on. Then all of a sudden, my face in that mirror twisted in pain. The agony i was going through was stated clearly all over my face! I was dying. I remember feeling really lost and scared as i watched myself die due to God knows what!

Then I woke up. And i was in such a state of fear. My lips were trembling, my arms were shivering, my heart was pounding in my chest! I was freaked out! I had no idea what crazy lunatic nightmare that was. I was overwhelmed by trauma. No doubt i was relieved that it was just a dream. but somewhere deep in the pits of my tummy, i had a sinking feeling that i've such a dream before. That was why i had that familiar feeling. and that's what scares me the most. Reoccuring dreams are kinda something. Shoot! I'm scaring my ownself here. I hope i'm able to sleep tonight...

would like to take this opportunity to congratulate muh gurl, Beatrice Goh. So proud of ya beat! =) Go check out what she did! Click on her name!