"I can't stand it. She's so whiny!" says a friend about the protagonist of Eat Pray Love, a book which I've recently picked up and started reading because I couldn't bring myself to continue to read The Girl Who Played With Fire.I had just watched the movie Eat Pray Love, and I thought it was quite good. I really liked it. But I don't know whether it's due to the fact that I'm pining for someone myself, thus, I felt some sorta empathy for her.
So do I whine? Am I being whiny right now to the friends I confide in?
After thinking about it for a while, I think I do. Actually, I know I do. And in my efforts to not annoy my friends, I try to keep it to a minimum, hence I keep more things bottled up inside of me and put on a brave smiley front whenever I see them, until I eventually explode at the slightest trigger, say spilt juice. This has happened more than once.
It's almost 3 months since the break up, a deadline I've given myself to end my pathetic sobs and whines and forget the heartbreak altogether. I know it would be no easy task as I still think of him dearly every day, and I miss him terribly. The sight of couples on the street and in shopping malls, even watching my friends and their boyfriends, get me down. =(
I wonder if he has found someone new by now. And I wonder if I saw him and her together, I'd be able to move on quicker. I know it would crush me to the ends of never, but at least it would give me a sense of finality. Maybe if I saw that he has already invested his heart in another, I would be able to mend my broken machine and do the same for myself.
Maybe. Sigh.
And this shall be my final whine.
2 comments:
It will be nice that you should talk to him again, a simple one. To end this trauma and get ready to start a brand new you.
i feel u Karen. esp de last 2 paragraphs. been thru it n overcame it n came up ever strong. time wil heal de wounds but oni if u wud allow it too. letting go completely is de hardest thing n i remembered i wasnt willing n stil hanging on tightly in de hope tht situation wil change n things wil b all lovey dovey again. it didnt n believe me, it wouldnt do u any good to bump into him n his other half (if he has)or even to come to knw bout it. it'll even b more devastating until n unless de broken heart has been completely healed. stay strong Karen. God has lotsa beautiful things instore fr u in life.. tap into it n embrace every sweet moments in ur daily life
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