never

take away my selfishness,
take away my greed,
strip me off my stubbornness,
leave my ego nothing to feed.

rip away my hopelessness,
rip away my drive,
scratch away my eagerness,
to make this dream survive.

peel away my insanity,
peel away my pain,
give me none of that pity,
to hold on is what i must refrain.

squeeze me dry off energy,
squeeze me dry off pretense,
show me what i need to see,
that i need to start making sense.

tell me boldly there's no need for hope
tell me harshly to start anew
tell me and spare the mercy
tell me that i will never have you

dollars please come down!

i've been surfing into the Star Exchange Rates page daily...watching the Australian Dollar exchange rate. Everytime it goes down i smile, everytime it goes up i worry.

Have been thinking about how much i should bring to Sydney in July. As much as i'd like to pay for everything on my own, I am actually saving up for a future education as well. And though i believe in travelling now, in my time of youth, where i still treasure thrill and exuberance, it's time i act like a mature 20 year old. hehehe...

money matters aside, i am by far the smartest alec to walk the face of Earth. i was tying up my hair just now, after i practised my dance a few times, when i suddenly grabbed the scissors from my cabinet. i started combing down my front hair and then, as if they possess minds of their own, my hands snipped 3 inches of my fringe!

impulsive? yea. definitely. ever so daring too. hah! guess who's gonna be flicking hair off her eyes every now and then.

i must say i'm proud of my actions. just not of the results.

Karen...karen...tsk tsk tsk!

When Karen met Melly - the milestones

when she gave me my birthday post, i thought to myself "i have to top that!" and what better way to top it than with my wide array of rhymes.

and so, Melanie Ho, be enthralled. :)

it's been over 3 years
since the first time we saw each other
somewhere along the dingy corridors
or among the dusty, neglected lockers of Taylor's

it's been over 2 years
since we *gasps* and *points finger at each other*
somewhere amidst the clean, fresh breeze
or make-shift dorms we had as CA Bounders


it's been over a year
since i traversed down to Kajang town
in search of scrumptious satay
and learned from you how to bring "shisha" down

it's been over 5 months
since we skinned our knees in Camp 5
commented on the sexiness of Eugene's legs
and from 12 m of the floor (auto belay wall), we took a dive

now it's just over a month more
before i'd hop onto a Lauda Air carrier
and fly thousands of acres across the sea
in search of more tales to tell together


Happy 20th Birthday sMelly!

love ya!

*sends heaps of hugs to Sydney!*

im older now. :)

you know you're getting older when you start attending wine drinking sessions with your dad your dad invites you to drink his wine.

wait...

but even Keith tagged along last night and he's only 12...

anyway, Uncle Eugene cordially invited all of us to his humble abode in Sg Buloh last night. When I first mentioned it to my dad it went something like "Hey daddy the Mt KK people are having this thing at one of their houses on Friday night. How to go to Sg Buloh ar?". But my old man has been staying at home, having a lot of free time on his hands. He has been running every single day since i told him to join the NB 15 km run (which was since chinese new year). So i figured he could use a little time out and get to know a few more runners so runs would be more interesting (instead of "i came coz i had to drive my daughter here). Plus i hadn't a clue where Sg Buloh was. And i'm bad with maps. And going on my own would mean i have a curfew. And also, i wanted to show him exactly who invited me to the climb, flew me over to KK and literally dragged me up to the summit. Likewise, he wanted to thank this surrogate fathers and brothers of mine. :)





Uncle Eugene's house looks like one right out of a Japanese Garden catalogue. No kidding! And he did it with his own two hands. It looked really great. Then, i saw the food table and i knew they weren't kidding about making it a wine drinking session. At the table, Uncle Choi and William were having salad. SALAD! atta-girl! go eat healthy and lose some weight! No fatty food for you tonight, i thought.

I thought wrong. When Mrs Lee came home we each were given a scrumptious, oh-so-sinfully-delicious looking bowl of Penang prawn mee. whoa! i was so enticed that i forgot to take a photo of it. Only after i dug in did i realise that i forgot to snap. By then my prawn had already been decapitated and my fingers already oily. hehe...

There was also sushi and sashimi. There was bak zhang. and fried chicken. There was my favourite hap tou sou. There was almond biscuits from Macau. There was the blueberry cheese tarts that i baked and brought there too. and of course, there was wine. bottles and bottles of wine.

But i stuck to soya bean. Just so you know. :) I ate a lot. I pigged out. I couldn't help it. The food was fantastic! We laughed so much that the next thing i knew, it was midnight. Keith was getting a bit restless. My dad seemed to have enjoyed himself very much. And so, the eating must end.

Everyone got themselves some tarts from yours truly. My dad got himself some new gang already. Keith got himself the scare of his life when Louie the dog barked up his legs. Uncle Choi got himself a new running kaki on Saturdays. Ben got himself his wine. William got himself...erm...food i guess. Uncle Eugene and family got himself many compliments on their house and the wine and the food. Yi Xi got himself more races to come. and I got myself a few extra pounds. :)

My friend the director

My friend Arivind Abraham created this really cool movie called S'Kali. I did a short short write up on it back in February. I've watched the trailer. And i think you should too. And since my lovely friend Tan Yuh Huey is apart of it (associate producer kononnya), I believe it's gonna be a blast! We should support our local scene anyway. So do Malaysia proud and visit the website.

Here's a sneak peak for you. God knows where i've placed the poster.

my heart goes out to you

poor little one
so innocent and naive
just wanted to have some fun
when a joyride with an uncle begun
so ready to just believe

poor little boy
with only seven years to brag
still playing with toys
still sees the miracle of joy
just alongside his uncle he was asked to tag

poor little child
with so much love to give
yet his life was on a dial
and his parents were on trial
and they just wouldnt let him live

my heart goes out to the family of Ho Ping, the little seven-year old who was kidnapped and murdered allegedly by his own relative.

where is the love?