[ the ugly truth ]

i don't know how far is true
are the words that has got to me
how much can i trust about you
based on what i've heard recently

it's strange to know about such ways
concerning someone i know so well
you're no longer how u were in those days
or maybe i was never able to tell

i guess at this point in time
changes are pretty much the norm
and i seem to be standing behind the line
watching as they transform

i feel as though they're evolving
the friendships that i used to hold
one by one the bonds or loosening
and i often feel left out in the cold

maybe i myself have changed
though i have not been told
but perhaps the reason for all things strange
are due to my character so bold

i often find myself enveloped in guilt
over things i wish i didn't say
causing a concrete friendship built
to be strained or thrown away

i often find my actions too loud
but only realise it after it's done
sometimes i wonder what the anger was about
and realised that it shouldn't have begun

at this point in life, i guess
when pressure is applied to friendship
when we start to drift away from the rest
the ugly truth will start to take a grip...

found out some disturbing news about an old friend. Don't know if it's true and all, but it's sad to think how people can change. It's even sadder to think how you might change just like them, under the same circumstances. But it's worst to think how you won't even realise it, and when you do, it's too late...

[ birthday boy ]

HaPpY BuRfDaY WeI WeRn !!!

Just came back from this fella's birthday dinner not long ago. Met him during the Gunung Ledang Expedition I went with Beatrice's college, Sky Adventure Club. He's 21 soon. Not really sure when is his actual birthdate but oh well, it's round the corner.

The surprising thing was i met my primary school teacher, Mdm Leong! Seriously it's a small small world. She happens to be Wei Wern's aunty. Not exactly immediate family but along the lines of the husband's cousins's son or something. =) Mdm Leong taught me English in Standard 3. I was surprised she could still remember my name!

Here are some other pics:


Don't you think they look like twins?


i went with Beat...


The cake was HUGE!

K...gtg now...byebye!!

* forkroad *

yup...yet another face lift for = galnexdor =. Like it? Well I do. So all you critics out there, keep it in. hehe...nah...i'm open to constructive criticism. =)

My aunt's back from Brunei again! yes...D aunt. The one that bakes tonnes of cakes and cookies and tarts. The one that buys me nike shoes and branded clothes. The one that loves shopping just as much as I do. That one. hehe...and she brought back lots of chocolates! I'm sooo growing fatter. hehe...

Tonight's gim class was the last one I'll be attending with Shirlyn. next week I'm off to OBS and the week after she's off to Japan. I still have one last class on the 24th while she has one last class next week. After that it's byebye RSG. Sad really. I'm finally ending my rhythmic sportive gymnastic career after 8 years. It's not so much about missing the things I can do, (frankly, i can't do much more than anyone can), it's more of missing the friday nights. From now on I'm gonna have to start worrying what I would do on friday nights while my non-single friends are having fun. Back then, Friday nights were something I look forward too after a week of stressing. It was also the time i would see Shirlyn (back in high school) and the time to see Julie (this year in college). It's like the transition to break up the long periods i would be away from my best friends. Then there's also the free fun. The let-yourself-loose sensation after slaving over books and notes was what i needed essentially. Something tells me i'd still need it and I better find some other way to find it.

Today marks a forkroad at which the lives of Shirlyn and I diverge. Without Friday night gim classes, I can practically say I won't meet her again unless we plan for a gathering with my other gim friends, or invite her to a shopping spree or party or something. What with her new boyfriend and all, i already see her so much less as it is. Over the past month i found that we only met during gim class. Much were promised to have shopping sprees and sleepovers, however, none were successfully carried out. She has him to go out with. I've got uni applications to settle (she doesn't coz she's JPA sponsored). So we were both unable to commit. Though there were several times it crossed my mind to get her to go out with me, the thought was quickly pushed away for fear that she might say no. For fear that she might say "JA's over so..." and trail off so that I could find my own conclusion. I silently wish that i could one day hear her voice on the phone asking me to go out instead. That way I wouldn't have to worry if I had interfered with her plans.

Anyway, doesn't matter now. We're officially on different paths. I would just have to wait till the day comes where we have not seen in each other for ages and desperately need to catch up on each other. I just hope that when that happens, the feeling is mutual.

[ will powerless ]

scroll down and check the time of this post. 9.10 am?? the problem is it's supposed to be earlier! I was supposed to be up by 7.30 am! This fat pig needs to go jogging and she doesn't have an ounce of will power to pry herself from her bed at 7.30 am even after 2 alarms!!! In fact this is the 3rd morning of which I failed to wake up. I'm so pathetic. And i call myself a runner.

Yesterday I went jogging up ss18 and honestly, i did so badly my baby cousin could've laughed at me! I kept stopping to walk, i did half my usual distance, and i did not feel good after. I felt lousy! and today i couldn't even redeem myself. Gawd...

Oh well, need to wish some special people some special wishes:

happy birthday, EDWIN !!!

happy birthday, BAN LEE !!!


There u go. I feel better already! =) time to make my day productive...=) chowz!

* running out of things to say *

This Photo Album includes:
- Dim Sum at some Ipoh restaurant on the way to Penang
- Ong Kee Hui Swim Meet in PISA (Penang International Sports Arena)
- Dinner at Genting Hill, Penang
- My cousin's dog Sandy
- One night stay at Cameron Highlands

With all the holidays I've kinda gotten disoriented from blogging. Either that or there just isn't much to blog about these days. My life, despite the many trips outstation, is pretty mundane still. I'm still the Karen who's single and available. I'm still the Karen who has a heart for running, (though I've not done that in 2 weeks and i'm putting on weight like pigs!). I'm still the Karen without a job for the break.


Last night I went out with julie, hua and elaine. yup...ELAINE out at NIGHT. ehehe...well, she thought we'd do some catching up. That was the initial plan. However, i think it didn't turn out that well. For one thing, Jhun Ming and his cousin were there. I don't have anything against them. It's just that if we're gonna do any catching up, it's better to keep it to one group of close friends. It's like Elaine had to split her attention between us and them. So it's kinda hard. For another thing, my parents. Curfew time for yours truly is now 11 pm. sheesh...it's like it's getting earlier as i grow older. That's not supposed to happen. I don't even go to clubs or bars. I don't even drink or smoke! What can I possibly do that would endanger me? She, however, doesn't trust me. She thinks that I'm vulnerable enough to let my friends talk me into drinking or smoking. You know what she does to corner me? She compares me with my saint-of-a-brother. So he prefers to stay home at night. I would if no one asks me out. And he has to go swimming every night and running every morning. So we're different. I respect him for what he does. I should be treated the same.

And she thinks the reason I'm so eager to stay on my own is so that she won't keep tabs on me and i can go out and come home whenever i wish. The annoying thing is not because it's untrue, it's because it is. Partially at least. I mean, how could i possibly show her that I won't get into any trouble if she calls for me at 11 every time I'm out? Sigh, I shouldn't be complaining I know. She cares. And it's not like I wanna start hating her. So I shall stop. Right here.

hmm...looks like i did have something to say afterall.

[ k e - h e c t i c - a n ]

Back from Penang/Cameron Highlands!! phew! i've been on my toes ever since the 10th of November!!! And there I was thinking i'd be spending a mundane life searching for my future in edufairs n uni open days. Oh well not like i'm complaining! hehe...

I'm actually dead tired so i'm just gonna make a to-do list. Over the next few days i need to :

1. Top up my handphone.

2. Pass Paul leo stuff, enquire about my "work" in Taylor's, pass Lyn Leo certs.

3. Post on my class trip (if i'm hardworking enough) and my family trip to Penang/Cameron Highlands.

4. Change my blog layout so you blind people will be able to read the message i'm trying to convey...hehe okla...my bad my bad...=)

5. Submit TBS scholarship form. (yes i've resorted to giving commerce a second thought for the sake of my future)

6. Pack up my room.

7. Watch DVDs I borrowed from Be Koh.

8. Exercise/ work out. Intensively

9. decide on a course to study.

and that's it. My to-do list. and don't think it'll be easy. Looks can be deceiving. In this case, words can. so off to bed i go. Hopefully by tomorrow i'll complete at least task #1 to #3. Toodloo!