Year of da MoNk3y

It's great to enjoy the festive season
With family and friends as a reason
Had fun playing ear damaging fireworks
And collecting ang pows definitely has its perks

But away from home brings another meaning
It's when i allow myself to start daydreaming
Away from the bustling city life in Subang
There's nothing to distract me in Raub, Pahang

Obviously someone would pop into my head
And the first person that my heart would relate
Wasn't at all who i had expected
And to a certain extend, not who i wanted

I can't believe I'm thinking of him again
I guess my feelings for him partly remained
And what better time for it to resurface
Then each time i manage to spot his face

I guess i never let go of what seemed to be
The one guy that was right for me
Somehow deep down i refused to erase
Him from my life, leaving no trace

I'm afraid it's starting all over again
Knowing very well that it could drive me insane
You just don't find "the one" everyday
Even if you do, often it doesn't go you way...

Something has changed
I realised today
Things got rearranged
And i don't quite like it this way

Something is different
About how things are
Changes took place sometime recent
I didn't notice it so far

Something is wrong
I can sense it from today
I somehow didn't feel like i belong
I felt estranged in a cerrtain way

Something needs to be done
It needs to be corrected quickly
I know something has just begun
And I think it is changing me

I kept wondering about what Ju said. Do i really hate that many people now? i dun think so. The people i dun like now were the same ppl i didn't like back then. For the simple reason that they're all annoying and they smoke and they drink and get drunk. Oh and accesive cursing too. Then how come I took it to heart when pj started saying that i often refuse to go out? Have i really changed?

Messenger gurl

It's not that i do not like helping my friends to increase their circle of friends. I just get kinda annoyed when they see me as the messenger gurl. Call me sad, but i feel like my life revolves around helping ppl find their soul mates!

Every morning when i reach college
She greets me with a smile
But even when she asks about me
She's thinking of you all the while

Every day i come in with you
But the only person she sees
Is you coming into college
And I seemed to have siezed to exist

As though one wasn't enough
Suddenly he messaged me
Someone i don't even know
Wants to meet Elaine desperately

The number of questions he asked
Had drained RM1.60 from my credit
I'm not surprised by this at all
But frankly speaking, i've had it!

Ok...i dunno how to continue adi. Guess i should jus say it in layman words. i'm not really as angry as i sound la. Just a bit bugged by the fact that i'm this link to the hot guy and the chun chic for others. haha...maybe i'm jealous...but not coz of him la...jus coz i dun get ppl hu want to know ME desperately...so sue me....

I questioned myself again today
If I really want to make this decision
I looked at you from a distance
And left myself in confusion

There's definitely a solid reason
Why i'm so afraid to make a move
But to say it out and make it clear
Is something i cannot prove

Today i realised something though
To my disappointment
I found out that i'll never
Be able to give my commitment

It's simply because there's something
About you that just isn't right
It's all in the character I'm sure
But what it is i can't decide

All i can say is, i like u a lot
But only as a friend i'd say
I have tried, really i have
But i just can't like you that way

Somehow i'm not comfortable
When it comes to being with u
Somehow I can't relax at all
When i start to talk to you

You're seriously a great friend
And i'll never give that away
The friendship we have is great
I sincerely wish it'll stay

It's my fault entirely
I fell for the charm, the looks
I fell for the flowers and gifts
These were what got me hooked

But when it comes to security
When it comes to a shoulder to cry on
When i seek a comforting word
It's not u I depend on

I have no idea how i am
Going to apologize to u
I can only hope that eventually
You'll forget me too...

Sui ran jing chang meng jian ni
Hai shi hao wu tou xu
Wai mian zheng zai xia zhe yu
Jing tian shi xing qi ji
BUT I DON'T KNOW
Ni qu na li

*Sui ran bu ceng huai yi ni
Hai shi tan te bu ding
Shui shi ni de na ge wei yi
Yuan liang wo huai yi zi ji

~Wo ming bai
Wo yao de ai
Hui ba wo chong huai
Xiang yi ge xiao hai
Zhi dong zai ni huai li huai
Ni yao de ai
Bu zhi she yi lai
Yao xiang ge da nan hai
Feng chui you ri sai
Sheng huo zi you zi zai

Saw that! ahahha....anyway, like my new colour scheme? haha...this is more me than the blue....=)
Today, i called julie, went to SU prom. i called shirlyn, phone engaged. I called jia yin, phoen engaged. the next number i was about to dial was 56311385. but i didn't....

Out of hand

I thought
It was just for fun
To show them our picture
But from there it begun
How would it be in future?

I thought
I could start a new life
In college, where i know no one
Set a new image to strive
To make my college days fun

But most of all i thought
That I could set things right
I would erase my past
Make things between u and me right
And hope that it will last

I thought wrong
The picture stirred something
I am now so confused
I no longer know my true feeling
But to admit it i refuse

I thought wrong
I have no control over what i set
My new image started the day i started
My faults and mistakes i couldn't correct
I'm on the verge of being broken hearted

Finally, i thought wrong
Things happened between us
Things i failed to foresee
Everything has been set for us
You will remain just a friend to me

Hmmm...actually i think my poem sounds kinda weird tonight. haha nvm...it takes a poet to understand another. hahaha watever it is, what i'm tyring to say is everything is set for now. I can't change the way things got out of hand. Oh well..=)